


LIBRARY OF CONGRESS, 

COPYRIGHT OFFICE. 

No registration of title of this book 
as a preliminary to copyright protec- 
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(Date)' 

(6, i, 1906 — 2,000.) 



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TOLD in the SMOKER 

By J. P. JOHNSTON, 

Author of “Twenty Years of Hus’ling,” “What Happened 
to Johnston,” “Howto Hustle ,' 1 “The Auct- 
ioneer’s Guide,” Etc. 


Drawings by HOWARD HEATH 


rHESE STORIES ARE BASED ON ACTUAL 
HAPPENINGS, AND GIVE THE AUTHOR’S 
PERSONAL EXPERIENCE DURING 
35 YEARS OF HUSTLING 



THOMPSON & THOMAS 

CHICAGO 



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UBRAffY of CONSR&SS! 

?»»OOOOiCS 

SEje 25 iaua 

wa*vr> *.«; 

CLASS Me. f»a. 

COPY a. 


Copyright 

THOMPSON & THOMAS 
1008 


Received from 
Copyright Office. 


INTRODUCTION. 


During my many years of experience on the 
road, wherein I engaged in various lines of 
business mentioned in my books, “Twenty Years 
of Hus’ling” and its sequel “What Happened to 
Johnson,” I naturally enough came in contact 
with men engaged in all sorts of fakes and 
grafts, as well as those engaged in the legitimate. 

Being of an inquiring turn of mind, and al- 
ways anxious to get inside information on all 
schemes and projects coming in my pathway, 
I never failed to use all the tact and ingenuity 
I possessed to gain the confidence of every 
stranger I met, who seemed to be in possession 
of anything new or mysterious in the line of 
money getting. 

By this means, but very few of the Con games 
and Bunko schemes, known now-a-days as 
“grafters,” escaped me. 

I have always contended, as I now still con- 
tend, that a knowledge of the ins and outs of 
these sharp practice schemes and grafts can be 
of more benefit than injury to anyone. 

My observation of the closing career of 
‘'Grafters,” as compared with that of the man 


6 


INTRODUCTION 


whose environments may have been that of the 
faker, but who stuck to the legitimate, is, that 
in absolutely every instance, the grafter has in- 
variably wound up his career in disgrace or dis- 
aster, whereas the so-called faker, who never- 
theless adhered to legitimate methods, has ended 
his career at the top round of the ladder. 

I believe in driving a shrewd bargain, and am 
always glad to “take off ni}^ hat” to the man 
who will get the best end of it, when driving a 
bargain with me, whether it be a patent right 
deal, a horse trade, or swapping jack-knives, so 
long as he sticks to the truth and the legitimate. 

The object of this book is to enlighten the 
public, that its contents may act as a barrier 
against the “pitfalls” that are constantly open 
to the unwary, the unsophisticated and inexpe- 
rienced, and, at the same time, prove interesting 
to them as well as to those who are wise and ex- 
perienced. 


CONTENTS 


CHAPTER I. 

Visiting a farmer relative in Illinois — His rich neighbors 
— A slick patent right job — The general agent — The 
foundation laid for a big scoop — The appearance of a 
fire insurance agent — Remains over night with the 
farmer — Glib of tongue and prolific of ideas, with money 
in abundance — The arrival of the bracket salesman — An 
old horse and buggy an important factor — An exchange 
of valises — How it was manipulated 15 

CHAPTER II. 

A graduate of Yale College — Two hundred dollars per 
week and expenses — A bony old horse, a rickety old 
wagon, five bushels of potatoes and six pairs of brass 
spectacles as stock in trade — How he did it — Overalls, 
blouse, cheap hat and stogy boots, the grafter’s attire — 
The transformation — A swell society theater party — 
Evening dress suit, silk-lined overcoat and silk hat, with 
diamonds and money galore — Saturday holidays with a 
side line for expenses — The funny side — His sad ending 28 

CHAPTER III. 

The pocket diamond case — Its exchange for the en- 
velope — How it was manipulated — The messenger with 
the request for two hundred dollars — The landlords, 
easy victims — Silence rather than exposure, their mot- 
to — Beaten at his own game — The pocket piece propo- 
sition — How it was played 39 


8 


CONTENTS 


CHAPTER IV. 

A family reared and educated on proceeds of graft — The 
scheme all his own — Arrested over fifty times in fif- 
teen years — Known as a United States detective — The 
secret — How he did it — Whiskey his final ending — 
The society man’s career — A good dresser and always 
flush — Qualifications as an entertainer his stock in 
trade — A mystery to all acquaintances — Caught at last — 

A sound thrashing administered — The transformation 
scene — Six months as a farm hand — His days ended in 
pauperism — Frequent purchases necessary — The busy 
merchant the easy victim 51 

CHAPTER V. 

The soap part of small consideration — An old barrel and 
a tin box his layout — Leading merchants buy his wares 
— Seventy-five dollar touches — Another soap grafter — 
The heir of a rich uncle — Donating his w r ealth to the 
public — How he did it — Don’t try to buy but one cake 
gentlemen — “I am watching you; I am watching you” 

— “Don’t open your packages in the crowd” — “Remem- 
ber your agreement” — “Make your own change, gen- 
tlemen, make your own change” — The laundry soap 
salesman — The axle grease proposition — How it worked 64 

CHAPTER VI. 

A Frenchman — America his field for operating — Works 
by appointment only — Fills appointments in regal style 
— The ignorant rich his best victims — Three thousand 
two hundred dollars a day — Ten thousand dollars for 
a single piece, that cost him but a trifle — How he op- 
erated — An incident of a close call — A banner sale.... 78 

CHAPTER VII. 

Bandit was run to earth — A certificate of loan proposi- 
tion embodied in the application blank — The descrip- 


CONTENTS 9 

tion — Two thousand dollars in four months his gain — 
How he did it 88 


CHAPTER VIII. 

jThe first move in the game — Establishing confidence — A 
short walk while waiting for the train — The shingle mill, 
and the “Kaintucky” mule dealer — Just “practizing” the 
game a little — How the game was played — The double 
cross — Career of “spieler” ended by insanity 102 

CHAPTER IX. 

Contractor number one — Contractor number two — Ready 
money and no investment — The deceased man’s rela- 
tives — Watching the death notices — Books sent C. O. D. 

— A similar graft in jewelry — The tobacco box — How the 
box was made — How the scheme was worked — Quick 
wit saved him, but landed his would-be victim in jail.. 118 

CHAPTER X. 

One of the oldest, but most successful — From corn salve 
to electric belts — Lining up the different pools — Better 
to-day than forty years ago — The corn cutter bluff — A 
five hundred dollar pitch — His escape — How he did it.. 136 

CHAPTER XI. 

The backer a Chicago man — Rehearsing — Two thousand 
dollars or nothing — The most clever of all clever tricks, 
and the most heartless — How it was done 153 

CHAPTER XII. 

No use for regular patrons — Bearded stranger with tously 
hair — Sleeping barbers — The tall barber with the “gray 
beard” — How he did it — Jealousy among barbers in this 
shop — Every patron is a “Guy” — A ten-cent tip more 
appreciated than a dollar job — Disrupting, rather than 
elevating their calling — Episode of a “bum” hair cut.. 165 


IO 


CONTENTS 


CHAPTER XIII. 

Another envelope proposition — A guest of four hotels at 
once — Hotel men duped — Two hundred dollars in three 
days — How he did it — The stock drover- — Farmers’ sig- 
natures his specialty — How he secured them — How he 
made use of them 178 


CHAPTER XIV. 

Very old, but always successful — The “High Mark” and 
the “Rummy” very friendly — The mysterious' Indian — 
Gold brick found buried — How it was discovered — Hid- 
den in the wheat bin — A trip to the State Capitol — A 
search for an assayer — The assayer’s favorable opinion 
— The return home — An important telegram — The deal 
closed — The trick turned for seven thousand dollars 
in cash 188 


CHAPTER XV. 

A fifty-dollar premium given with a five-dollar subscrip- 
tion — Brought to a round turn — A short lecture and a 
promise to reform — Another double cross — The hair- 
dresser’s graft — The German and his poor English — The 
English patron and her poor German 209 

CHAPTER XVI. 

Farmers made sub-agents — Forks delivered to sub-agents 
as a consideration — A good “mixer” and money spender 
— Victims easy to get— The combination note and con- 
tract — How it was constructed 225 

CHAPTER XVII. 

The silent man and his reticent wife — Traveling with a 
gorgeous turn-out — Two mysterious arrivals — Canvas- 
sers employed on salary — Their methods — How orders 
were taken — How deliveries were made — Landed for 
twenty-four thousand dollars 236 


CONTENTS 


ii 


CHAPTER XVIII. 

The laundryman flooded with business — Swamped the first 
week — Ruination staring him in the face — The laundry- 
man bewildered — A ready compromise at from twenty- 
five hundred to six thousand dollars — How it was ac- 
complished 252 

CHAPTER XIX. 

The “Top and Bottom” — How the writer was taken down 
the line — The Mexican slipper story — “Well, we meet 
again” — A fresh beer — The Southern stock dealer — How 
ten dollars were won and divided — How it ended 265 

CHAPTER XX. 

“Counterfeit money” shall be read instead of “cigars” — 
Sends one-dollar bill and receives perfectly good two- 
dollar bill — Western man works “over issue” game — 
The victim 279 

CHAPTER XXI. 

Chromo gift enterprise — Each picture numbered — Corres- 
ponding numbers in envelopes — No chance of drawing 
the valuable prize — Capper in crowd — Duped — The Mil- 
ton Gold Gift enterprise — Worked by the above trio — 
Grand prize $500.00 — Shrewd young man beats the 
game — How it was worked 292 

CHAPTER XXII. 

New brand of wheat known as Canadian Red Line — Cor- 
poration composed of disreputable men — Six farmers 
in each county permitted to handle their grain — Bond 
agreeing to sell next year’s crop — Commission — Crop 
sold and paid for with a lot of worthless notes 304 

CHAPTER XXIII. 

Silk hats and Prince Albert suits — Three suits of clothes 
and two dress patterns — Expert cutter at Hotel 


12 


CONTENTS 


— Farmer instructed to call on cutter within ten days 
Three suits made free of charge — Cloth sent in to As- 
sociation — Later bill for accessories sent — If farmer re- 
fused to pay, amount invested lost — If he has sent the 
amount, a ready-made suit of cheapest material sub- 
stituted and sent — Gross profits $700.00 per day — Bos- 
ton men and their sister work together — Picture en- 
larged free — Agreement to frame picture for exhibition 
— Confusing agreement — Money usually forthcoming — 
Cheapest work and material sent — Farmers’ long wait 
for the grafter 31/ 

CHAPTER XXIV. 

The “settler” — Blank contract, an ingenious article of 
agreement — A settlement for cash, or a promissory note, 
with security 328 


ILLUSTRATIONS. 


He and his guest did a good sized washing. 

Called in two or three neighbors as witnesses and broke open 
the valise. 

He cut open the envelope with his knife, but with a single 
bound the young man had made for the door. 

I think I shall turn this plugged 50c piece to the sleeping car 
company. 

She would look around a moment, and declare that she could 
see just fine. 

Raised up with the pair of nose glasses in his hand. 

They are all on the lookout for a stranger, whose growth of 
hair and beard would indicate that he had just emerged 
from a few weeks’ stay in the north woods. 

Jones grabbed his hat and razor and escaped through the rear 
end of the shop. 

With much curiosity, both watched the outcome. 

That chunk of gold is worth a little over $16,000 in cash. 

Began working slowly backward and forward through the 
crowd, carefully scrutinizing every face. 

I immediately took him from the wagon and forced him to pay 
back the money. 

“I’ll bet you $500 you can’t pick out the card with the cross 
on it.” 

Standing over them and gesticulating and talking at a furious 
rate. • 

Spread before me a large imposing looking contract. 

He gathered up the one dollar bills and silver pieces and put 
them in -his pocket. 

At last the farmers met the main grafter at the hotel. 


/ 


14 ILLUSTRATIONS 

“Begorra ! yez wins de bet.” 

“I have a plan by which your business can be increased so fast 
that it will surprise you.” 

“Great Caesar! you’ve got me swamped the first day.” 

“That’s right, I like tO' see a man spend his money on his wife.” 

“Wal, you certainly have steered an ‘easy mark’ up against me 
this time, haven’t you?” 

“Oh ! yah ! yah ! das ist alle recht.” 

“Let’s see, what is your name?” 

Many of them were regretting having introduced him into their 
set of girls. 

“Before I sign this document I want to have my lawyer look it 
over.” 

“You kain’t bunko me, Ser; not much!” 

Would contract for their entire apple crop. 

The backer directed the graft as though he were at the head 
of an immense trust. 

“You are a fraud ! This is counterfeit money.” 

“Now, I shall aid you in selecting five or six thousand dollars’ 
worth.” 

“My! That’s my husband.” 

He mounted the banister and slid down to the office floor. 

“They are solid gold and cost me $12.00 when new.” 

“Say quick, gentlemen, or off it comes.” 

The handkerchief was as clean and white as the day it came 
from the factory. 


Told in the Smoker 


CHAPTER I. 

Visiting a farmer relative in Illinois — His rich 
neighbors — A slick patent right job — The 
general agent — The foundation laid for a big 
scoop — The appearance of a fire insurance 
agent — Remains over night with the farmer 
— Glib of tongue and prolific of ideas, with 
money in abundance — The arrival of the 
bracket salesman — An old horse and buggy 
an important factor — An exchange of valises 
— How it was manipulated. 

One of the first patent right bunko schemes 
I ever heard of came under my observation 
when I was about 17 years of age. I had trad- 
ed a $50 note, which I held against a farmer 
living near my home in Ohio, for the rights 
for the state of Illinois in a patent gate and 
door spring*, and went to that state, among 

15 


'told in the smoker 

relatives, to sell the spring attachments and 
to dispose of the territory. On arriving at the 
home of one of my farmer relatives, I found 
them all in a turmoil, and in a frame of mind 
to lynch anyone in the patent right business. 

A few days before my arrival a very slick, 
well-dressed gentleman had called upon one 
of their rich neighbors, and represented him- 
self to be the general agent of a washing ma- 
chine. He was anxious to establish an agency 
fot the sale of both the machine and county 
or state rights, and said to the farmer: 

“Now, sir, you have been recommended to 
me as being just the man I am looking for, 
and to start with, I want to assure you that I 
don’t propose to give you a penny of my 
money, nor do I ask for a penny of yours. I 
don’t propose to give you my signature, nor 
do I ask for yours. I simply propose to ap- 
point you our agent. I will give you three dol- 
lars in cash for every machine which you sell, 
and will leave this sample with you, charging 
you nothing for it. And for each county right 
you dispose of, I will allow you all over $100 
a county that you get for it. If you get $200 a 
county, you will make $100 profit. If you sell 
a county for $150, your profit will be hut $go. 

t-6 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


I do not limit you as to price on the county 
rights, but the price of machines must be no 
more nor less than $5 each. As I shall be at 

the hotel, at Aurora, for the next six 

weeks, should you find a customer, you may 
call on me there, and by paying the cash you 
can procure any number of machines at $2 
each, or whatever counties you want at $IOO. ,, 

After bidding the whole family good-by, he 
took his departure. 

Two days later a gentleman of fine address 
called. He was about 30 years of age, wore a 
silk hat and a tailor-made suit of clothes, was 
glib of tongue and carried a fair-sized valise. 
He came just at dusk, and introducing him- 
self as a fire insurance agent, explained that 
he was traveling on foot, was somewhat tired 
and weary, and wanted to procure supper, 
lodging and breakfast, for which he would 
gladly pay whatever the farmer saw fit to 
charge. He was welcomed, and immediately 
made himself at home, and exceedingly enter- 
taining. 

After supper, and during the evening, while 
talking fire insurance, and after having dis- 
played his papers, blank applications, door 
plates, etc., he began discussing other sub- 

17 


TOLD IN TIIK SMOKER 


jects, and topics of the day. Directly he re- 
marked that he intended to resign his position 
with the insurance company, and engage in 
something where he could make money faster, 
and alluded to a former experience in which 
he had made a lot of money in a short time 
handling a patent right. 

This, for the first time, reminded the farmer 
that he was agent for a mighty fine patent, 
and forthwith he brought out the washing 
machine the general agent had left with him. 
After explaining its merits and showing the 
insurance man one of the attractive circulars 
which had been left with him, he began paving 
the way for the sale of a few county rights. 

The insurance man was at once “taken” 
with the machine, and was so much interested 
in it that he suggested that they proceed at 
once, before retiring, to set the thing going 
and wash out a few garments. Thoroughly 
filled with enthusiasm and a desire to make a 
deal the farmer built a fire in the kitchen stove, 
and he and his guest did a good-sized washing, 
spending the major portion of the night dis- 
cussing the thing. 

The following morning the insurance agent 
explained in a worn-out, exhausted manner 
18 


t 




TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


that he had not slept more than an hour, and 
then had dreamed of selling washing machines 
galore, and township and county rights by the 
score. 

While at the breakfast table he ventured to 
ask the farmer what he could sell him twenty 
counties for, and producing a state map, he 
selected the counties he wanted. The farmer 
carefully thought the matter over, and al- 
though he thought $300 a county would en- 
able the insurance man to make plenty of 
money, by cutting them up into township 
rights, still he would let him have them (if he 
took twenty counties) at $200 each. 

The insurance man thought the price rather 
high, and dickered along until about 8 o'clock 
in the morning, when he made the farmer a 
point blank offer of $150 a county for the 
twenty counties. He said as he did so that he 
had formerly been a school teacher in a place 
several miles south, which point he was mak- 
ing for, as he wanted to collect some money 
due him. He explained that, as the farmer 
would have to procure papers from the general 
agent before he could deed them to him, he 
would return in three days or four at the out- 
side, and receive the deeds and settle in full 


20 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


for them. And as evidence of good faith, he 
brought out his valise, and unlocking it, took 
out a large roll of bills with four or five $100 
wrappers and said: 

“To show you that I mean business I will 
deposit $100 with you and when I return and 
you have the deeds ready I will pay the bal- 
ance. M 

Then placing the roll of money back in the 
valise he locked it and was apparently ready 
to start, when the farmer’s wife remarked that 
she should think he would be afraid to carry 
so much money around in that way. 

“Yes,” he replied, “but I am more afraid of 
banks, and for that reason I want to invest in 
something that will make me a good paying 
business.” 

At this juncture a young man rapped at the 
door and when admitted, began introducing a 
wall bracket, in which to place newspapers, 
etc. He explained that he traveled with a 
horse and buggy, and was taking orders, to be 
delivered inside of thirty days, whereupon the 
insurance man asked him in which direction 
he was going. The bracket man, pointing 
south, said: “This way.” 

“How would you like company for a short 


21 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


distance?” asked the insurance man. “I am 
going south, but I am traveling on foot, and if 
agreeable to you, should like to ride with you.” 

“Very well,” said the bracket man, “only 
too glad of your company.” 

After taking the farmer’s order for a bracket 
he remarked that he was ready to go. The 
insurance man, turning to the farmer, in- 
quired the amount of his bill. Being informed 
that there were no charges, he politely invited 
the farmer to accompany him to the gate. 

“You may slip your valise under the seat,” 
said the bracket man. This the insurance 
man did, and after a cordial good-by to the 
farmer and assuring him of his prompt return 
within three or four days, he entered the 
buggy. But instead of going south, the brack- 
et man turned about and started directly 
north. 

“Hold on!” cried the insurance agent. “This 
isn’t south; you are going north, and I must 
go south.” 

Bringing his horse to a stop, the bracket 
man apologized profusely for his blunder, and 
declared that north was the only direction he 
could go, as the territory south didn’t belong 
to him. Of course there was nothing else for 


22 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


the insurance agent to do but get out, and 
reaching under the buggy seat he brought 
forth his valise. 

By this time the farmer’s wife and all the 
children were at the gate, and all were inter- 
ested and amused over the incident. The in- 
surance agent once more bade them good-by 
and started off on foot. Suddenly, however, 
he turned about, and in a hesitating way 
scratched his head, then returning to the gate, 
where the whole family was still congregated, 
he said: 

“See here, I really don’t like to be carrying 
this stuff around, and I want you to take this 
valise, and lock it up until I return. I have 
money enough in mv vest pocket to last me 
until I get back.” 

Only too glad of the opportunity, the farmer 
did as requested, when once again the insur- 
ance man bade them another good-by and 
started off. 

The farmer, now absolutely sure of making 
the deal, immediately hitched up his best team 
and drove pell-mell to Aurora, where he found 
the general agent in his room at the hotel, in 
business up to his ears. There were before 
him charts and letters galore, from all sections 

23 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


of the country, some wanting one county, 
some another, and all in desperate straits for 
more or less territory. Under much excite- 
ment., the farmer explained that he wanted 
twenty counties at once, and produced a slip 
of paper with the names of those desired. 

After coolly looking over the list and then 
going over the state map, the general agent 
remarked that he was sorry, but he had re- 
ceived a letter that very morning from two 
men in Galesburg, who wanted ten of those 
very counties, together with twenty others, 
and were ready with the cash to take them. 

“But,” protested the farmer, “you agreed 
that I should have all the counties I wanted 
at $100 each. These men who make you this 
offer are a long distance from here, while I am 
on the spot, and mean business.” 

“Have you the cash to pay for them?” asked 
the general agent. 

“I can get it within twenty minutes,” gasped 
the farmer. 

“Well,” replied the general agent, “I hate 
to do it, because I am certain it will spoil the 
other deal ; but go ahead, get your money right 
away and I will make out your papers and 
have them ready on your return.” 

24 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


The money was forthcoming, and the deed 
duly executed and witnessed, and the farmer 
hastened home to await the return of the in- 
surance agent. At the expiration of four days 
there was anxiety depicted on the face of the 
farmer, and an “I-told-you-so” look on the 
face of the wife. Another day, and both were 
walking the floor. Two days more and an ex- 
cited visit was made upon my farmer relatives, 
when the entire transaction was fully narrated 
and discussed. 

The farmer knew that he had the cash and 
possibly hundreds of dollars, if not thousands, 
more than was due him, there in the house, 
locked up in that valise, but the question was, 
why should the man stay away, and if he 
didn’t return, what would be the proper and 
legal procedure to take? 

Two days before my arrival the farmer 
again visited Aurora, to find that his general 
agent had flown. He consulted a lawyer, who 
advised him to immediately return home, call 
in two or three neighbors as witnesses and 
break open the valise. 

His advice was followed, and when opened 
the valise was found to be filled with three or 
four old shirts, in which were wrapped two or 

25 



When opened the valise was found to be filled with three or 
four old shirts. 


TOLD IN Tn£ SMOKER 


three bricks. The balance of the space was 
stuffed with excelsior. 

The reader will readily understand the state 
of mind my dear farmer relatives were in, to 
receive and entertain me, a patent right 
vendor. 

After a short visit with them, I started out 
with my patent, and a few weeks later arrived 
at Bloomington, where I took quarters at a 
hotel. 

While showing the invention I was repre- 
senting a young man entered into conversa- 
tion with me, and explained that he was can- 
vassing for a book, and he then went on to tell 
me of a brother of his who was out with a 
gang of patent right men, selling washing ma- 
chines, and how his brother played the part of 
bracket salesman; and how he would drive up 
to the farmers house, in the morning, with 
horse and buggy. Under the seat of the buggy 
was an exact duplicate of the valise in which 
the insurance agent carried his money, and 
this, of course, was the one the agent withdrew 
from under the seat after discovering that they 
were going the wrong way. 


27 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


CHAPTER II. 

A graduate of Yale College — Two hundred 
dollars per week and expenses — A bony old 
horse, a rickety old wagon, five bushels of 
potatoes and six pairs of brass spectacles as 
stock in trade — How he did it — Overalls, 
blouse, cheap hat and stogy boots, the graft- 
er’s attire — The transformation — A swell so- 
ciety theater party — Evening dress suit, silk- 
lined overcoat and silk hat, with diamonds 
and money galore — Saturday holidays with 
a side line for expenses — The funny side — 
His sad ending. 

Some years ago, while closing out a bank- 
rupt stock of jewelry, I opened up a store on 
Sixty-third street, in Englewood, Chicago. 

One day a very tall man, dressed in overalls, 
blouse, stogy boots and Scotch cap, came into 
the store. He carried in one hand two or three 
large potatoes. Stepping up to me, he ex- 
tended his right hand and said: 

28 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

“How are you, J. P. ? Glad to see you ; don’t 
know me, do you?” 

At first I didn’t recognize him, but when he 
introduced himself as Mr. , I instantly re- 

membered him. He was a former Chicago ac- 
quaintance, who for several years had held a 
responsible position with one of the largest 
wholesale dry goods houses in the city. He 
was a Yale college graduate, of an excellent 
family. Of course I was astounded to see him 
in such a garb. 

“What in the world are you doing?” I asked. 

“Making $25 per day,” he replied. 

“How, selling potatoes?” I inquired. 

“Grafting,” he went on; “just grafting.” 

Taking me to the front door, he pointed out 
a rickety old peddler’s wagon, loaded with 
choice potatoes, and drawn by a bony old horse 
with a played-out harness. There was a col- 
ored boy on the front seat. 

“That’s my lay-out ; what do you think of 
it?” he said. 

“But,” I asked, “how can you do any graft- 
ing in the potato business?” 

Reaching in his pockets, he produced several 
pairs of spectacles, and proceeded to explain 
his system of graft. 


29 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


The colored boy drove the old horse, while 
he made house to house calls; always among 
the middle and lower classes of people. 

He would rap at the rear door, and there 
the lady of the house would find him with both 
hands full of those very choice potatoes. He 
would offer to sell her a peck or half bushel at 
one-half or two-thirds the regular market 
price. 

As this class of women are invariably look- 
ing for bargains, he had no trouble in persuad- 
ing them to make purchases. This much ac- 
complished, he had gained at least one point, 
and often two. In the first place he had broken 
the ice, and in many instances he had an oppor- 
tunity to size up the woman's financial stand- 
ing. Should he have occasion to change a five 
or even a two-dollar bill, the prospects were 
good. 

The potato deal closed, he would bring forth 
a pair of glittering riding bow spectacles from 
his pocket and say: 

/'See what I found over on the boulevard a 
few minutes ago. Aren’t they beauties?" 

"My! My!" the woman would exclaim, and 
would immediately try them on. As they were 
but ordinary window glass, she would look 
30 


, 2 h y 

fj 



Declare That She Could See Jire* Pine# 


/ 




TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

around a moment and declare that she could 
see “just fine/' 

“Are they gold?” she would invariably ask. 

“Can’t you see what they are? I’ll bet they 
never cost less than $12 or $15,” he would an- 
swer. 

Then, as if about to take his departure, he 
would casually remark that he had no earthly 
use for them and would sell them cheap. 

“How cheap?” would usually come the 
query. 

In setting a price, of course, the grafter 
would be governed by the general appearance 
of the woman and often by his knowledge of 
how much cash she had on hand. 

His price was all the way from two to five 
dollars, though he would accept one dollar, but 
nothing less. Occasionally he made a sale at 
five dollars, but two dollars was the popular 
price. 

He further explained that he carried in his 
right hand upper vest pocket a pair of lenses 
of the right refractive power for a person of 
about 40 years of age, in his left hand upper 
vest pocket a pair for a person of about 50 
years of age, and in one coat pocket a pair for 
a person of 60, and so on. 

32 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


Should his spectacle transaction take place 
in the house where the woman would be likely 
to pick up a newspaper, he would thus be able 
to give her a magnifying glass. Should she re- 
mark that they were not just right, he would 
say that he was sorry and would place them 
back in his pocket. Then suddenly reaching 
to another pocket, he would bring forth an- 
other pair, either weaker or stronger, and say: 

“See here, I believe these glasses are all right 
for you; suppose you try them again. Perhaps 
you were a little nervous when you tried them 
before.” And he would continue to make 
these shifts from one pocket to the other until 
the woman imagined, at least, that she could 
see all right, and then, if possible, he would 
close a deal. 

On the other hand, should the transaction 
take place in the street, he would introduce a 
pair of what are known as piano lenses, which 
are nothing more than ordinary window glass. 
With these no matter what her age a woman 
could see off into the distance, and often 
bought them on the spur of the moment, be- 
lieving they would also enable her to do close 
work. 

All was fish that came to this gratfer’s net. 

33 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

The spectacles cost him $2.75 per dozen. The 
material was “Roman alloy/’ which will tar- 
nish and get black within three days after 
coming in contact with the face. 

This man declared that he had for years 
been working on what he considered a paltry 
salary. His father, who had been well to do, 
had recently died leaving his estate so entan- 
gled that it would cost more to unravel it than 
it was worth. As a result the son had grown 
desperate and had started out to make a “kill- 
ing.” 

The following Saturday evening while at 
the theater, I saw this “grafter” enter one of 
the boxes with a party of society people. He 
wore a full-dress evening suit, an elegant silk- 
lined overcoat and diamonds. Happening to 
spy me in the parquet, he placed the thumb 
and forefinger of each hand together, and 
laughingly held them up to his eyes, in a man- 
ner to suggest spectacles. 

Two weeks later 1 opened a store under the 
Great Northern hotel. 

One Saturday afternoon this “grafter* 
called on me. He told me that for the past 
three or four weeks his profits had averaged 
$200 a week. On this occasion he was dressed 
34 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

in an up-to-date business suit, fine derby hat 
and low-cut shoes, and had the appearance of 
a well-to-do professional or business man. 

“J. R,” he said, “although I always take a 
vacation on Saturday, I nevertheless clear ten 
dollars or more. Not that I particularly need 
it,” he went on “but just to keep my hand in.” 

So saying, he took from his pocket a half 
dozen nose glasses, of the same quality as his 
spectacle stock. 

As we stood looking from my store window, 
he said : “I’ll just watch for my man and show 
you how easy it is to make a dollar.” Then he 
gathered some mud from his shoes and rubbed 
it over a pair of his eye-glasses. 

“There comes my man,” he cried, an instant 
later. “Now watch me.” 

Darting from the store, he quickly stepped 
into the gutter, in front of “his man,” and, 
reaching down, took particular pains to attract 
the man’s attention. He rose with the pair of 
nose glasses in his hand. 

Of course the mud and clay clinging to the 
glasses gave them the appearance of having 
lain for some time in the dirt. 

The man was at once interested, and, put- 
ting them on his nose, he took some printed 
35 



Raised up with a Pair of Nose Glasses In His Hand. 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


matter from his pocket and began reading, 
saying, “They just fit me.” 

“Well,” said the ‘grafter/ “give me five dol- 
lars and you may have them, and IT 1 bet they 
never cost less than ten dollars.” 

“No,” said the man, “I wouldn’t do that, but 
I’ll give you two dollars for them.” 

“Make it three dollars and take them along,” 
urged the grafter. 

“No,” hesitated the victim, “but I’ll split 
the difference and give you two dollars and a 
half for them.” 

“All right,” laughed the grafter, “take them 
along; they are no good to me.” 

The man paid the money and passed on with 
a satisfied smile. 

The grafter laughed immoderately at his 
success and declared that there was always 
something ridiculously funny in every deal 
of this kind. 

In selecting his dupe, he kept his eyes open 
for a well-dressed man, of business-like ap- 
pearance, and of about 50 years of age. The 
glasses were of the proper refractive power to 
magnify the letters for such a person. They 
cost him less than 20 cents per pair. 

Twenty minutes later the “grafter” bade 

37 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


me good-by. Meeting another man not three 
rods away, he played the same trick on him, 
and “landed” him for two dollars inside of five 
minutes. Looking toward the store, where 
myself and clerks were interested spectators, 
he held up two fingers, indicating the amount 
of cash received. 

I last heard of our college graduate grafter 
two years later. I read a full account of his 
implication with a gang of “get-rich quick” 
sharpers, all of whom had been sentenced to 
from one to five years each in the penitentiary. 


38 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


CHAPTER III. 

The pocket diamond case — Its exchange for 
the envelope — How it was manipulated — 
The messenger with the request for two 
hundred dollars — The landlords, easy vic- 
tims — Silence rather than exposure, their 
motto — Beaten at his own game — The 
pocket piece proposition — How it was 
played. 

One day a very enterprising looking young 
man registered at the hotel where I was stay- 
ing in Muskegon, Mich. He claimed to be a 
diamond dealer and handed the clerk a small 
pocket case which, he explained, contained an 
assortment of diamond studs and rings. He 
asked that this be put in the safe. 

The following afternoon he stepped up to 
the office and asked the landlord for a large- 
sized envelope. On receiving it, he took from 
his pocket a large roll of bills and, after count- 
ing them in the presence of the proprietor, 
39 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

writing his name on the envelope, and putting 
down the amount as $1,000, he said: 

“Please get that pocket case of diamonds 
from the safe. I am going over to Grand 
Haven this evening on a diamond deal, and 
will be back to-morrow or the next day.” 

As the landlord gave him the case of dia- 
monds, the young man handed him the large 
envelope, which he had carefully sealed, and 
said: 

“Just put this in the safe, landlord.” 

That evening he started for Grand Haven, 
carrying with him a small hand-bag, and leav- 
ing behind a fairly good-looking medium-sized 
valise. 

The following day a young man alighted 
from the Grand Haven train and, going to the 
hotel, presented a letter from the diamond 
dealer, which read as follows: 

“Dear Landlord: I am closing a deal for a 
fine pair of horses and a carriage, with which 
I shall leave here to-morrow morning for Mus- 
kegon. I am trading a few diamonds on the 
deal, but the man has held me up for $200 boot 
money, which I wish you would let the bearer 
have for me. I also have on another diamond 


40 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


deal, which I expect to clinch to-day. Yours, 
etc.” 

Not daring to entrust the messenger with 
the diamond man’s thousand dollar package, 
and not feeling justified in opening it, the land- 
lord instantly sent the two hundred in cash 
out of his own pocket. First, however, he ques- 
tioned the messenger and learned that he was 
an old resident of Grand Haven, and knew 
everyone there. 

The next day we expected to see a handsome 
team driven into town, and were really disap- 
pointed when night came, and none had ar- 
rived. 

The next day was still more disappointing, 
especially to the landlord. 

On the following morning, the hotel people 
began discussing the matter quite freely. The 
landlord brought out the envelope, upon which 
was written the diamond dealer’s name and 
the amount of cash enclosed, and although he 
claimed to feel perfectly secure it was plain 
that he was much perplexed. 

At last, not hearing from the young man, the 
clerk went to Grand Haven and, to his aston- 
ishment, found the landlord there walking the 
floor in his anxiety to know what had become 
4 1 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


of the man whose package, containing $1,000, 
he held in the safe, and for whom he had bor- 
rowed $200 from a merchant friend a couple 
of days before. 

A valise, similar to the one left at Muske- 
gon, had also been left at the Grand Haven 
hotel. 

Putting two and two together, it was plain 
that both landlords had been duped by this 
smooth grafter, and thereupon the envelopes 
were opened. Each was found to contain a lot 
of brown paper, cut in the exact size of dollar 
bills. 

On comparing notes, the hotel men found 
that his methods were the same in each case. 
In both instances he had previously, without 
the knowledge of the proprietors, secured a 
large envelope from the hotel stock, on which 
he had written the name and amount, and in 
which he had placed the brown paper. Later, 
when calling for the diamond case, he had 
hastily exchanged the envelope containing the 
money for the fake envelope, wdien the land- 
lord turned to the safe. 

American-like, these landlords pocketed 
their losses, and said nothing. 

On my way north that summer I related this 
42 



With a Single Bound the Young Man Had Made for the Door. 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


incident to all the hotel men I met, including 
the proprietor of a hotel at Ishpeming, Mich. 

The next year, when on another trip in that 
territory, the Ishpeming lanlord told me that 
a young man, answering my description, ap- 
peared about six weeks after I left, and laid 
plans to bunko him with the $1,000 fake en- 
velope. 

“I hadn’t the least suspicion of him,” said 
the landlord, “until he called for his case of 
diamonds, when it suddenly dawned upon me 
that this was the very man you had told me 
about.” 

As on the previous occasion, the grafter 
counted out the money, wrote his name on the 
envelope, and said: 

“Landlord, just place this in the safe, will 
you?” 

Instead of doing so, the landlord said: “You 
claim there is a thousand dollars here, do 
you?” 

“You saw me count it,” replied the grafter. 

“So I did,” answered the landlord, “but I 
didn’t count it myself, so I’ll just open it up and. 
count it.” 

So saying, he cut open the envelope with his 
44 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

knife, but with a single bound the young man 
bolted through the door. 

The last seen of him he was cutting down 
the railroad like a racehorse, minus baggage, 
but with his cash and diamonds intact. 

* * * * * * * 

On a trip from Cleveland to Chicago a few 
years ago the porter of the sleeping car under- 
took to play me for a little “graft,” which was 
both unique and amusing in its manipulation. 

When nearing Chicago in the morning he 
came to my section, brushed my overcoat care- 
fully, and gave the clothes I was wearing a 
slight brushing. When he had finished, I hand- 
ed him the only 50-cent piece I had. 

The instant I did so I observed that he half 
turned his back to me as he stepped nearer the 
window and began carefully scrutinizing the 
silver piece, and that very instant it flashed 
through my mind that the colored gentleman 
was planning to graft me. 

After taking a careful look at the money, 
and having had just about time enough to 
shift the coin I gave him for any old thing he 
might have about him, he said: 

“Say, mistah! I guess you done gone and 
made a mistake and gin me a silver piece with 
45 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


a plug in it, besides, it very badly wo’n and 
batte’ed, too.” 

“Is that so?” I answered (knowing very well 
that I had given him an almost new silver 
piece). “Let’s see,” said I, and, as he handed 
it to me, “Can’t you use it ?” 

“No, sah,” he quickly answered, “I don’t 
want that kind of money.” 

“Do you want me to keep it?” I asked. 

“Yes; I’d rather you would keep it, sah.” 

“Very well,” said I, “I can use it,” and 
dropped it into my pocket. 

He stood there anxiously watching and 
waiting for me to give him another 50-cent 
piece, and at last discovering that I apparently 
had no intention of replacing it, he said: 

“Is you all gwine to give me nothah half 
dollar, mistah?” 

“Certainly not,” I answered. “Is there any 
reason why I should give you a new half dol- 
lar, just because you were foolish enough to 
give me an old one? Why, of course not. You 
said that you could not use it, and I think I 
can.” 

“Well, then — well, then” — he stammered — 
“I reckon I’ll take it back.” 

“Well,” I replied, “I reckon you won’t take 
46 



«| 'ihalf Turn In This Plugged 50-Cent Piece to the Sleeping 
CaV Company.” 



TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

it back. There is no Indian about me; when I 
give a thing away, or receive a thing from any- 
one, I never give back, nor take back.” 

“But,” said he, “you took back the 50 cents 
you gave me.” 

“Indeed, I did not!” I answered. “The one 
I gave you you have in your pocket, and the 
one you gave me is a different one entirely. 
At any rate,” I went on, “I think I shall turn 
in this plugged 50-cent piece to the sleeping 
car company when I report this little episode 
to them.” 

The poor darky became excited and turned 
almost white, and was so beside himself with 
his apologies and excuses that he forgot every 
other passenger on the car. 

As I was leaving the car, on our arrival in 
Chicago, he brushed up against me, and stam- 
mered: “Sa — sa — say, mistah, please don’t say 
nofin’ ’bout dis yer ’greement ’tween you and 
me, fer I got a wife and fou’ little chilluns to 
s’port, and I cain’t ’ford to lose ma job.” 

On returning home I told this little experi- 
ence to my employers in the office. Our col- 
ored porter rolled his chalky eyes about and, 
with a broad grin, said : 

“Mistah Johnston, you got that fellah all 
48 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

right, suah 'nuff; I nevah heard 'bout de 
plugged silver piece racket befoh, but a fellah 
what I used to room with tol’ me 'bout a 
mightlv good hold-up scheme he used to wo'k, 
almos' like dat, when he was Pullman po'tah." 

“Well, Gene," I said, “go ahead and explain 
it to us." 

He did so, and the graft was this: 

The porter had a die struck, exactly the size 
of a 50-cent piece, upon which he had stamped 
“John Miller, Denver, Col." 

He always had one of these in the palm of 
his hand, while brushing a passenger's clothes. 
The tip, at the end of a night's journey, is sel- 
dom less than a 50-cent piece, and whenever 
one was given him he would instantly palm it 
in his right and, quickly stepping near the win- 
dow, as if to get a better light to examine it, 
he would say: 

“Mistah, I reckon you done gone and gin me 
youah pocket piece, 'specting' it was a half dol- 
lah. See?" passing it back. 

Of course, the unsuspecting passenger, pre- 
suming that some one had passed a pocket 
piece on him, would instantly take it up and 
hand the darky another piece. 

49 


TOLD IX THE SMOKER 

But, as is usual with such grafters, the end 
finally came. 

One morning the porter played his little 
game on a man who proved to be one of the 
stockholders and officials of the sleeping car 
company. Scenting graft he called the porter 
to account, and forced him to empty his pock- 
ets, wherein were half a dozen pocket pieces. 
This was how he happened to be out of a job. 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


CHAPTER IV. 

A family reared and educated on proceeds of 
graft — The scheme all his own — Arrested 
over fifty times in fifteen years — Known as 
a United States detective — The secret — 
Plow he did it — Whiskey his final ending — 
The society man’s career — A good dresser 
and always flush — Qualifications as an enter- 
tainer his stock in trade — A mystery to all 
acquaintances — Caught at last — A sound 
thrashing administered — The transforma- 
tion scene — Six months as a farm hand — His 
days ended in pauperism — Frequent pur- 
chases necessary — The busy merchant the 
easy victim. 

For many years I used to meet occasionally 
a young man who was raised in a small town 
in Ohio, near my old home. He became some- 
what wayward in early life and got beyond 
5i 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

the control of his family. He drifted about 
the country, coming and going at will, and 
usually well supplied with cash. 

He was a handsome fellow, a fluent talker, 
a good story teller, an excellent dancer; he 
sang and played the piano and was in short 
just such a chap as would win the admiration 
of the up-to-date young folks. 

None of his acquaintances, old or new, could 
ever furnish the slightest information as to his 
means of support. No one ever heard of his 
being in any trouble, or of his having caused 
anyone else trouble. 

When asked what he was doing he an- 
swered: “I walk nights to keep from sleep- 
ing, and sleep days to keep from eating,” and 
with no further argument he managed to 
change the subject. 

His stay in any particular town did not ex- 
ceed two months, during which time he was, 
as a rule, the “lion” of society. As a round 
dancer he had few equals. When “out with 
the boys” he could execute a jig or clog dance 
superior to the average professional and was 
an all-around entertainer. 

One time I happened to run across him at 
Jackson, Mich. While sitting in the hotel of- 
52 





He Mounted the Banister and Slid Down 






TOLD IX THE SMOKER 

fice I heard loud talking in the barroom, and 
a moment later a rough and tumble fight was 
in progress. 

The first person I saw was this man stand- 
ing with his back to the bar, and two young 
men standing in front of him, both executing 
blows upon his already battered countenance. 
Observing that the poor fellow was ready to 
collapse, I quickly interfered, and soon had 
him out of reach, after which I returned to the 
barroom. Several men told the cause of the 
rumpus. 

This, it seems, was his second visit to Jack- 
son. On his previous stay the “boys” thought 
they had gotten on to his graft and now they 
were sure they were right, the result of which 
was a sound thrashing. 

He was always on hand when anyone was 
treating at the bar, and never failed to be one 
of the party, when the boys of the town were 
out for a "time,” 

When some man ordered the drinks he in- 
stantly began telling some interesting story 
or singing a song, in the meantime keeping an 
eye out, as to the amount of currency the man 
laid down with which to pay his bill. When 
the bartender brought the change and laid it 
S4 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


on the counter this grafter instantly raked it 
off and resumed his antics, thus detracting the 
attention of the man who had done the treat- 
ing. In many instances the latter would notice 
what had occurred, but inasmuch as he had 
perhaps only recently met the distinguished 
looking personage, rather than cause him the 
slightest humiliation, and believing it a mis- 
take, he said nothing about it. 

During his first stay in Jackson he was fairly 
lionized by the best young people there, and 
had successfully played his graft for four or 
five weeks before any of the boys had dropped 
on to his game. After they began to discuss 
the matter several of the bartenders admitted 
that they had observed his methods, but as he 
was a good mixer and profitable to have 
around, they remained silent. 

One bartender declared that he kept account 
of the amount he had raked off in one evening, 
when a dozen or more of the “rounders” of the 
city were buying drinks at his bar, and it 
amounted to over ten dollars within a space of 
three hours, and not a soul suspicioned a thing 
wrong, 

The next morning after the barroom affray, 
I had a long talk with my old neighbor, and 
55 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

wormed from him a confession of his methods. 

The next time I saw him was at Adrian, 
Mich. 

As I came out of the dining-room I met him 
in company with the Toledo baseball team, 
who were to play the Adrians there that day. 
He had been at Toledo for some time, and had 
only recently come to Adrian. 

That afternoon the hotel clerk said to me: 

“Say, Johnston, that friend of yours is in 
trouble; ” 

“How so?” 

“Well,” said the clerk, “it seems that 
through some misrepresentation he procured 
credit for a suit of clothes in Toledo before he 
came here, and when the Toledo baseball team 
found him here one of the members wired the 
Toledo tailors of his whereabouts, and they 
arrived only a few moments ago, and he and 
they are upstairs in his room. 

“I understand that they have brought with 
them an old suit of clothes (the worst they 
could find), which they are going to force him 
to take in exchange for the fine suit he beat 
them out of.” 

The clerk had no sooner finished his explan- 
ation than the grafter appeared at the head of 
56 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


of the stairs, and mounting the banister, slid 
down to the office floor in a jiffy, and shot out 
of the back door. A worse looking hobo I nev- 
er saw. He had on an old pair of stogy boots, a 
pair of trousers, a vest twice too large for him, 
an old-fashioned long-tailed coat, and the 
worst looking old plug hat one could imagine. 
Had he been paid $1,000 a week to do “the 
hobo” on the vaudeville stage, he couldn't have 
beaten it. 

At least two years after when I questioned 
him as to what he did on that dreadful occa- 
sion he said that he knew of a farmer living 
several miles out of Adrian, who was formerly 
from his town, and by evening of that day he 
had arrived at this farmer's house. He made 
a clean breast of the affair and worked hard 
for the farmer six months at $16 per month to 
get on his feet again. 

He wound up his career in a Chicago char- 
ity hospital, where he died with tuberculosis 
and was buried in the pauper's field. 

* * * * * * * 

When I was engaged in the wholesale jew- 
elry business in Chicago, an elderly man, who 
appeared like a laborer, began calling at my 
57 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


store. He always made inquiries for old gold 
spectacle frames. 

Having sold him several lots, I began to 
wonder what he was doing with so many old 
gold frames. He couldn't possibly sell them 
to dealers and were he to offer a second-hand 
frame to a customer, as a retailer, he could 
hardly expect to interest him. 

I finally asked him and he explained to me, 
although he said he had never told anyone be- 
fore, not even his wife or his children. 

He had been working his graft for fifteen 
years. In the meantime his children had been 
well educated. 

His family, neighbors and friends supposed 
that all these years he was a United States de- 
tective, and after hearing the wonderful expe- 
riences he related of numerous hairbreadth 
escapes in capturing moonshiners, counterfeit- 
ers and other law breakers they regarded him 
as a man of extraordinary ability. 

Frequently he would leave home, after pro- 
viding his family with every comfort of life, 
and remain away two and three months with- 
out writing a word. 

He had been arrested over fifty times dur- 
ing the fifteen years, had been discharged four- 

58 



tJ TH#y Are Solid Gold and Coat Me $12 When New.” 





TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


teen times without a fine; had been fined two 
or three dollars and costs about thirty times; 
was fined $20 and $25 and costs on two 
charges, and had been sentenced to ten days 
in jail on one occasion and thirty days on 
another. 

This was his graft. In selecting old gold 
frames he picked out those of the lightest 
weight, for as he always purchased them by 
weight the lighter the frames the less they 
cost him. He never took the precaution to 
clean them up, preferring that they have the 
appearance of having been worn for some 
time. He then went to a lens manufacturer 
and purchased all the culls or seconds and 
thirds of about the same refractive power as 
he himself wore for reading and close work. 
In each of the solid gold frames he put a pair 
of these cheap lenses. 

The frames cost about 70 cents each; the 
cost of lenses did not exceed 60 cents per dozen 
pair, which made the entire cost of each pair 
of spectacles about 80 cents. 

A town of any size could be worked on his 
graft, but he found that cities ranging in pop- 
ulation from 10,000 to 50,000 were the most 
profitable. On arriving at a town he donned 
60 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

an old, well-worn painter’s blouse. In select- 
ing a victim he chose a man about his own 
age, possibly a grocer, or the proprietor of a 
meat market. 

Calling upon his man he explained that he 
was a painter by trade, and had just arrived 
in the town with a view to looking up a job. 
On going to the postoffice he said he had re- 
ceived news from his wife that his mother was 
at the point of death and wanted him to hurry 
home. Then he took a pair of spectacles from 
his pocket. 

“I am here almost stranded,” he continued, 
“and I am nearly frantic to reach my mother’s 
bedside. It will cost me five dollars to get 
home, and if you will let me have that amount 
on my spectacles, I will send you six dollars as 
soon as I get home, and you can return them 
to me. They are solid gold, and cost me 
$12 when new. Of course I am a stranger to 
you, and perhaps you are no judge of the qual- 
ity of such frames, but to show that I am hon- 
est I will leave them with you, and return this 
afternoon, as my train does not leave until 
evening. This will give you plenty of time to 
take them to some jeweler who can tell wheth- 
er or not they are solid gold. If you will help 
61 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


me out, I will have the six dollars back here 
inside of two days.” 

After “planting” this pair, as he termed it, 
he immediately started for the other side of 
the town and “planted” another pair with some 
business man on the same proposition. Be- 
fore “rounding up” he planted on an average 
four pairs in each town. 

Toward evening he made his “round up” 
and either got back the spectacles or borrowed 
anywhere from three to five dollars. 

When asked how it happened that he had 
been arrested so many times he laughed and 
explained that the greatest trouble he had 
was, that most invariably every man with 
whom he “planted” a pair would take them to 
the best jeweler in town. This fact often led 
to unpleasantness and it was always hard to 
explain matters. 

It was not an uncommon thing for him to 
call upon some man on his “round up” and find 
him ready to call an officer. 

When caught he found the best way was to 
look his man squarely in the eye and say: 

“This is my way of doing business; yon 
have yours. At any rate, no reputable jeweler 
in this town can say that I in any way misrep- 
62 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


resented these glasses when I told you that 
they were solid gold. There is no law to com- 
pel you to loan me five dollars and no law to 
prevent me from asking you for a loan, so 
what ? s going to be done about it?” 

He said that he found this plan much better 
than to cringe and attempt an apology or ex- 
planation. 

The last time I saw this old "grafter” whis- 
ky had gotten the better of him and he was 
nearing the end of his career. 




TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


CHAPTER V. 

The soap part of small consideration — An old 
barrel and a tin box his layout — Leading 
merchants buy his wares — Seventy-five dol- 
lar touches — Another soap grafter — The 
heir of a rich uncle — Donating his wealth 
to the public — How he did it — Don’t try to 
buy but one cake, gentlemen — “I am watch- 
ing you ; I am watching you” — “Don’t open 
your packages in the crowd” — “Remember 
your agreement” — “Make your own change, 
gentlemen, make your own change” — The 
laundry soap salesman — The axle grease 
proposition — How it worked. 

When I was selling Yankee notions at auc- 
tion in Michigan I encountered a grafter 
whose special victims were the leading mer- 
chants of small towns. 

His was the shaving soap graft. However, 
the soap was of small consideration. It was his 
skill in palming and manipulating dollar bills 
that brought him success. 

He carried a single valise and a small tin 
64 


told in the smoker 

box, the latter filled with very small cakes of 
soap, cut from bars of ordinary washing soap. 
Each cake was wrapped in a piece of paper. 

Upon reaching a town he called upon the 
most prominent merchant and requested the 
loan of a barrel. This he would roll out direct- 
ly in front of the merchant’s store, and, turning 
it bottom side up in the street, he placed his 
tin box upon it. His plan was to begin opera- 
tions about two o’clock in the afternoon, when 
the merchant was least likely to be busy. 

As soon as an audience of two or more per- 
sons was secured, he would expatiate upon 
the wonderful merits of his soap. After re- 
moving the wrapper from a cake of soap, he 
took a large roll of money from his pocket. 
Then, folding a $20 bill lengthwise, and wrap- 
ping it around the piece of soap in plain view 
of his audience, he folded up the soap and the 
$20 bill in the original wrapper. Usually by 
this time the merchant the grafter has selected 
as his victim was an interested spectator. The 
grafter took the piece of soap in his left hand 
and held his pocketknife in his right, so that he 
could easily clip off the end of the piece, 

“Who will give me ten dollars for this piece 
of soap?” he cried. “Is there a man in the 

65 



TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


crowd speculative enough to buy it? Well, 
just to show you that some one has made a 
mistake, I will clip off the end and show you. ,, 

Then he cut off the end, unfolded the wrap- 
per and exposed the $20 bill. 

“Gentlemen, a faint heart never won fair 
lady,” he called out. “Nothing ventured, noth- 
ing gained. Remember, my friends, what your 
eye sees, your heart must believe. Fortune 
favors every scheme, and it’s a long road that 
has no turn.” 

Then taking out his immense roll of bills, 
he put back the $20 and selected a $100 bill, 
which, as before, he wrapped around the soap, 
in such a manner that there could possibly be 
no deception. Again he held the piece of soap 
in his left hand, his pocketknife in his right. 

“Who in this crowd has speculation enough 
to give me $80 for this?” he would cry. “Re- 
member, it's the soap Fm selling, and nothing 
else. Who will give me $75 for it before I cut 
the end off?” 

Usually, by this time the merchant would 
say, “Til take it,” and if he did, that instant the 
grafter would clip off the end and say: 

“I beg your pardon, but you didn’t speak 
quick enough.” Or if no one offered, the 
67 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

grafter would clip off the end, and, looking 
into the face of some other man, he would re- 
mark (as if the fellow had offered to take it) : 

“I beg your pardon, sir; but you were too 
slow. Well, now, we will see what we have 
here.” Whereupon the $100 bill would of 
course be found, because it had actually been 
placed there. 

After criticising his audience and joking 
them a few moments: 

“Well, I am going to try it once more,” he 
would say. “Let's see if there is a speculator 
in the crowd.” 

Again he folded the $100 bill lengthwise, and 
apparently wrapping it around the cake of 
soap, he again folded it in its original wrapper. 

“Now, I wonder if there is a speculator in 
this crowd with $75 in his pocket, who will 
give that amount for this cake of soap before 
I cut the end off. Bear in mind, I am offering 
the soap, and the soap only, for $75. Say. 
quick, gentlemen, or off it comes.” 

The merchant, eager to make $25, would 
almost invariably reach for the cake, and pro- 
duce forthwith the $75. 

This smooth grafter told me at the supper 
table that for three months before starting out 
68 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


he practiced the art of palming the $100 and 
substituting a one-dollar bill. 

He said that at first he had a great deal of 
trouble with his victims, because he worked 
everybody and anybody. However, he soon 
discovered that when he landed the “leading 
merchant’’ of a town, his victim invariably 
went to his private office to unwrap the soap, 
and on discovering the deception, his pride 
would deter him from making an exposure. 

* * * Sjc * * * 

Another soap grafter whom I knew was do- 
ing a thriving business following a cheap cir- 
cus through the northwest. 

He carried with him an old-fashioned suit 
case or hand trunk. Purchasing several large 
cakes of washing soap, he would slice them up 
into small cakes and wrap each one with pa- 
per. After filling the tray of his hand trunk 
with these, he would drive out in a horse and 
buggy and by various methods attract a large 
crowd. 

He would place a soap box upon the buggy 
seat, and on top of this his hand trunk, the ob- 
ject being to bring the latter up high enough, 
so that no one standing on the ground could 
see into it. 


69 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

Taking from his pocket a roll of bills of 
large denomination, he would carefully wrap 
them around the pieces of soap; and rewrap- 
ping the latter in paper would replace them in 
the trunk. 

In the meantime he dilated in a most inter- 
esting manner on how a very rich uncle had 
died and left him several million dollars, part 
of which was to be given away within ten 
years. He said he had adopted this method of 
carrying out his uncle's proviso. 

“Now, gentlemen," he continued, “in dispos- 
ing of this large fortune, I would hardly be ex- 
pected to hand it out promiscuously to Tom, 
Dick and Harry. In fact, one of the stipulations 
made by my uncle was that it should be given 
to worthy, responsible persons, and not to 
shiftless paupers. Therefore, in order to draw 
the line, a charge of one dollar for each cake of 
soap will be made during the first ten minutes, 
after that a charge of 50 cents will be made 
during another ten minutes. By the way, he 
went on, “that no hard feelings may be caused 
by some getting more than others, the under- 
standing must be that no man is to open his 
cake of soap until he leaves the crowd. Also, 
no one will be permitted, under any considera- 
70 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


tion, to purchase more than one cake of soap. 
Now, gentlemen, get your dollar ready, and 
be in line to receive your part of this dona- 
tion ” 

By this time every man who had a dollar 
held it up, and, crowding toward the buggy, 
yelled at the top of his voice: “Give me one! 
Here! Here!” and to say that the grafter was 
kept busy, would be putting it mildly. 

To keep up the excitement, every few mo- 
ments he called to some particular fellow: 

“No, sir; you have had one cake, and you 
can’t have another, or you, either,” pointing 
to still another. “Remember, gentlemen, you 
can’t impose upon me; I am watching you. 
Don’t try to buy but one cake; this must be a 
fair distribution. Who will have the next 
cake?” 

All this by-play only urged them on, and he 
was kept busy handing out soap, until it looked 
as if he had taken in more cash than the cir- 
cus. 

When the first ten minutes had elapsed 
there was no soap left for the next ten min- 
utes’ sale, which the grafter had promised. 

During the sale, if a man handed him a large 
7i 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

bill or anything over a dollar he would refuse 
to take it, saying: 

“Gentlemen, make your own change. Don't 
give me anything over a dollar; if you do HI 
not change it. Remember, this is a donation, 
not a speculation. Don't expect too much 
of me." 

When ready to close “the office," as he 
drolly expressed it, he had the top part of his 
trunk and every pocket filled with dollar bills. 

On returning to the hotel, at noon, I asked 
him if he had any idea that anyone got a cake 
of soap with money in it. 

He laughed and said if they did it was a mis- 
take on his part. Then he explained: In the 
middle of the tray of his hand trunk was a 
trap-door about four inches square with a 
thin, flat, steel spring to hold it to its place. 
As fast as he wrapped the money around the 
soap, he would place the cakes upon the trap 
door, and, pressing the door with his thumb, 
all would instantly be transferred to another 
part of the trunk. 

* * * * * * * 

Still another soap grafter, at Marquette, 
Mich., had a unique method of deceiving his 
audiences. 


72 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

He was selling what he called “the most 
powerful cleansing soap on earth.” It was 
“his father's invention,” and a piece the size 
of a pea would make more lather and actually 
do a larger washing than could be done with 
a whole bar of ordinary soap, in much less 
time. 

As I passed by his room on the morning of 
his arrival, I noticed about two dozen bars of 
washing soap piled on the table. He was busy 
cutting up a lot of tin-foil to wrap around 
the pieces. 

That evening he drove out upon the streets, 
and after singing a few songs and playing sev- 
eral popular airs on the banjo he began a very 
interesting lecture on the manufacture of soap. 

At last he gave a small boy a quarter to bring 
him a basin of water from the town pump. 

Meanwhile he broke off a small piece from 
one of these tiny cakes of soap, and after roll- 
ing it to about the shape of a pea, he said: 

“Now, gentlemen, I am going to give you 
the most wonderful demonstration of what 
can be accomplished with a piece of soap, the 
size of a pea, that has ever been shown upon 
the face of the earth.” 


73 



A # Clean and White as the Day It Came from the Factory. 





TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

Then he produced a clean white handker- 
chief, and, picking up a wrench, said: 

“My friends, you all know that there is noth- 
ing harder to remove from a garment than 
axle grease. Now, this buggy belongs to your 

liveryman, Mr. , and to give you a fair, 

square test of the worth of my wonderful soap, 
I am now going to remove one of the wheels 
from this buggy, and after thoroughly clean- 
ing the axle with this perfectly white handker- 
chief, I shall with no more soap than this piece, 
the size of a pea, proceed to wash the handker- 
chief in this basin of cold, hard water, and 
make a perfect job of it, inside of one minute 
by the watch.” 

Climbing out of his buggy, and removing 
one of its wheels, he wiped all the black tar 
and grease from the axle, completely saturat- 
ing the handkerchief. 

Replacing the wheel, he climbed back into 
the buggy, and opening up the handkerchief 
said: 

“Gentlemen, do you believe that there is a 
housewife in this city who could wash this 
handkerchief clean inside of ten or fifteen min- 
utes, even if she had a whole bar of ordinary 
laundry soap, and a basin of hot, soft water? 
75 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

Now watch me. Remember, I use only this 
tiny piece of soap. Get out your watches and 
time me/’ 

Dropping the soap in the basin, and the 
the handkerchief, also, with both hands, he 
began scrubbing. Instantly the basin was full 
of soapsuds, and, inside of one minute by the 
watch, the handkerchief was as clean and 
white as the day it came from the factory. 

A yell went up from the crowd. “Now,” 
said he, “I will pass it out at 25 cents per cake, 
or three cakes for 50 cents/’ 

In less time than it takes to tell it, the half- 
dollars were simply pouring into his coffer. 

“Keep up the good work!” he cried. “Re- 
member, economy is wealth, and the only road 
to success — one cake of my wonderful com- 
pound, double distilled laundry and toilet soap 
will go farther than a dozen bars of ordinary 
soap.” 

When he had finished, every man was 
soaped, and the grafter was loaded to the brim 
with half-dollars. 

Like all other “grafters,” one night was as 
long as he could remain in a town. 

A few days after he had gone the livery man, 
76 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

from whom he had hired his buggy said to his 
foreman : 

“Say, Jack, that little red-geared buggy 
needs oiling. It came in squeaking and groan- 
ing a few minutes ago.” 

“Oh, yes,” said Jack. “You know that soap 
man who was here the other night? Well, he 
took off one of the hind wheels, wiped off all 
the grease and oil, and put on a lot of tar soap 
in its place.” 


n 


, TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


CHAPTER VI. 

A Frenchman — America his field for operating 
— Works by appointment only — Fills ap- 
pointments in regal style — The ignorant 
rich his best victims — Three thousand two 
hundred dollars a day — Ten thousand dol- 
lars for a single piece, that cost him but a 
trifle — How he operated — An incident of a 
close call — A banner sale. 

Once there was a Frenchman who was a 
salesman of more than ordinary ability, a most 
excellent judge of human nature, and a prince 
in the art of flattery. 

His was an “art graft / 7 and while it was not 
a deep laid plot to inveigle the unwary into 
patronizing him, his methods were certainly 
unique. 

He always selected as his dupe some woman 
whose husband bore the reputation of having 
suddenly gained riches by some political graft 
or other crooked methods. This woman was 
very likely to be illiterate, and anxious to be 
78 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


shown how to decorate her home and use her 
money, as do other people of wealth. 

The Frenchman was a man of excellent 
physique, weighing not less than 225 pounds. 
He was of fine proportions, with black hair and 
eyes, a full beard, closely cropped, and a large 
black mustache. He wore the best tailor-made 
clothes, a silk hat and diamonds. 

He visited Paris, London and other large 
cities, where he scoured the town for the 
cheapest works of art that could be found, al- 
ways looking for something that had been 
shelved, as the publishers say, when a book or 
piece of art has been a failure or become ex- 
hausted from oversales. He had no trouble in 
finding any amount of the sort of “truck” he 
was looking for. 

After making his purchases, which were in 
large quantities and at “give away” prices, he 
would study the subjects of his work. What 
he didn't know he himself would make up, and 
in no time he was ready to start out with a 
canvas that would have delighted a connois- 
seur. 

America was his chosen field for operating 
his “graft,” and large cities the places selected 
to procure his kind of victims. The wife with 

79 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


a bank account of her own, or a rich widow 
whose husband had suddenly made his mil- 
lions and left her independent were his dupes. 
Never, under any circumstances, would he 
visit an old, well-known family of wealth. 

After having secured a list of the names and 
addresses of a number of persons, and having 
revised it several times, he was ready to begin 
business. 

First he sent in advance an agent whom he 
had had in his employ for years, and who, in 
personal appearance and smoothness of tongue 
had few equals. 

With a handsome team of cob horses and a 
beautiful landau, this advance agent would 
call in regal style at the homes of these new 
millionaires and, getting an audience, which 
was usually not hard to do, he announced the 
recent arrival in the city of the world-re- 
nowned and famous Parisian art connoisseur, 

Mons. , for whom he, the agent, was 

desirous of making an appointment to see the 
lady at her home at any time specified by her. 
He added that all the leading society women 
of the city would be granted an interview with 
this famous man before he left the city. 

On the day and hour appointed Mons. 

So 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


would drive up in front of the mansion, 

with not only a liveried driver, but a footman 
in uniform, as well. Carrying under his arm 
a number of “choice pieces of art,” he alighted 
and presented his card with profound dignity. 

In the reception room he was ready with 
an unheard of vocabulary, in broken French 
and English. Introducing his wonderful work 
of art, he would, of course, assume that he was 
addressing a person possessing unlimited 
knowledge of all such works, and in mention- 
ing the different characters and subjects pre- 
sented he would speak of them as one thor- 
oughly familiar to all lovers of art. Then he 
casually pointed out the different pictures he 
had disposed of to Mrs. George Gould, the Mrs. 
Vanderbilts, Chauncey Depew and many other 
notables and multimillionaires. He even hint- 
ed that he never condescended to visit any but 
multimillionaires and families of note. Then, 
merely to offer a few suggestions, he laid out 
this wonderful piece at $1,000 and another for 
$650, and so on. 

As if there could be no question as to her 
making a selection, he would say: 

“Now, shall I aid you in selecting $5,000 or 
$6,000 worth, or would you prefer making the 
81 





Shall I Aid You in Selecting Five or Six Thousand Dol* 

lars’ Worth?” 


TOLD 'IN THE SMOKER 


selection yourself?” And, “How do you like 
this?” or “How do you like that? or “Don’t 
you think these six pieces would be about 
what you ought to have?” 

While this grafter was playing for big 
stakes, and his dupes were gullible, he never- 
less had experiences of a nature likely to cause 
something of a nervous strain. 

My information of his methods came from 
his advance agent. 

One of the interesting stories related by him 
was that of a sale of $3,200, which at the very 
last moment came near “flashing in the pan.” 

By appointment the Frenchman called upon 
the wife of a multimillionaire brewer, whose 
former husband had left her an immense fort- 
une. 

She had, in consequence, a bank account of 
her own, and while she displayed a spirit of 
independence it was evident to the Frenchman 
that she would rather not let her husband 
know that she was interesting herself in art, 
as he cared but little for such frivolities. 

The grafter had persuaded her to purchase 
four pieces, for which she was to pay $3,200. 
She was on the verge of drawing her check 
83 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


for the amount when suddenly the front door 
opened and, looking in that direction, she said: 

“My! That's my husband." 

Before the husband had removed his hat and 
overcoat, in the hallway, the Frenchman said: 
“Never mind now, here is my card, send me 
your check this evening, in care of the Audi- 
torium." 

He took the four pictures, and, turning them 
face to face, handed them to her and said, sotto 
voce: “Put them away." 

This she did, and on returning to the parlor 
introduced her husband to the Frenchman, 
who turned to the lady. “I hope to hear from 
you in the near future," he said, “with an or- 
der for some of this beautiful work." 

Then, bidding them good-by, he quickly de- 
parted. 

The next moring he found a letter in his 
hotel box with an enclosure of a check for 
$3,200. 

^ jjc s): afe jfc 

Another story related by the agent was that 
of the Frenchman's banner sale. 

It seems that $3,200 was the usual stake set 
by him as a day’s graft, all of which must come 
84 







TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


from one customer. He never attempted to 
canvas more than one person a day. 

On this occasion he had closed a sale for four 
pieces, for $3,200, with a wealthy widow, and 
was nervously waiting for her to draw her 
check 

At last, seating herself at her desk with 
check book and pen in hand she hesitated, and, 
to the Frenchman’s displeasure, arose from 
the chair as if about to change her mind. 
“Have you two more of those pieces at $1,000 
each?” she asked in a meditative tone. 

He told her that he had. 

She resumed her seat at the desk and, as if 
purchasing a quart of berries: “I’ll take those, 
too,” she said, “as I want to present them to 
my nieces.” 

She then drew her check for $5,200. 

The Frenchman confessed that, having a 
favorable opportunity to glance at the wom- 
an’s check book he saw that her bank balance 
was something over $500,000, and, considering 
this, the amount of purchase was but a trifle, 
after all. 

The end of this transaction, however, had 
not yet come. The following morning about 
ten o’clock one of the bell boys rapped at the 

86 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER. 

Frenchman’s door and presented a card from 
his customer of the day before, with a request 
for an interview. 

The grafter was on the point of sending her 
word that he was not in, fearing that she had 
discovered the fraudulent character of his 
work and wanted a return of her money. 

However, nervy as he was by nature, he de- 
cided to face the music, and instructed the bell 
boy to show her to his apartments. 

She quickly made her errand known. She 
wanted one more of those $1,000 pieces, say- 
ing that she had decided to present it to her 
nephew, who was a brother of the two nieces 
for whom she had selected the two the day 
before. On receiving it, she opened her hand 
satchel and paid for it with a $1,000 bill. 


*7 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


CHAPTER VII. 

Bandit was run to earth — A certificate of loan 
proposition embodied in the application 
blank — The description — Two thousand dol- 
lars in four months his gain — How he did it. 

“During my experience as a life insurance 
salesman/' a friend of mine remarked recent- 
ly, “my greatest trouble was not in the keen 
competition which exists among the good old 
line companies, but with the young, so-called 
legal reserve companies, who flaunt the signa- 
ture of the state auditor, and possibly the seal 
of the state, as absolute proof that they are — to 
quote their own statement — 'as safe as a na- 
tional bank note.' 

“The average man thinks that the 'old line,' 
legal reserve clause means absolute security, 
whereas advantage is sometimes taken of this 
88 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


idea by unscrupulous agents, representing ir- 
responsible companies, to defraud the unsus- 
pecting purchaser of insurance. 

“One morning an acquaintance whom I had 
unsuccessfully solicited for insurance, hailed 
me, and said: ^ J im, I do not see how you can 
ever expect to sell your old cut-and-dried prop- 
osition, when the company, of , is 

selling a 20-payment life contract, wherein you 
make only 13 payments, a clear saving of seven 
annual premiums.' (At his age, about $15 per 
$1,000 of insurance.) 

“Now, I am thoroughly familiar with all the 
phases of the business, and know that there 
can be no bargains in a company that is 
straightforward in its methods. 

“ ‘My dear sir,’ said I, ‘any company that 
will offer that kind of a proposition is a good 
company — to leave entirely alone.’ 

“Unshaken in his faith, he offered to show 
me the policy which he had just purchased, giv- 
ing a 90-day note as payment of the first pre- 
mium. 

‘"Upon our arrival at his office, he spread be- 
fore me a large, imposing contract. It was 
almost completely covered with apparently 
sworn statements from state officials, as to the 
89 


/ 





Spread Before Me a Large, Imposing-looking Contract. 



TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


sound financial standing of the company, and 
there was a paragraph stating that if anyone 
ever said the policy was not all right, to see the 
agents and not some disinterested party. 

“This suggestion was, in my opinion, an evi- 
dence of weakness somewhere. 

“ Tf this company is so sound and strong/ I 
asked, turning to the young man, ‘why is it 
necessary that such a clause should be insert- 
ed? It is nothing more nor less than a bolster- 
ing-up proposition.’ 

“It should be remembered that in each and 
every policy issued by any company, good or 
bad, is written: ‘This contract is issued in 
consideration of the statements and agree- 
ments in the application, hereby made a part 
hereof/ etc. The application is, therefore, as 
binding as the policy you hold, but very few 
companies issue a copy of it to the purchaser. 

“Upon my inquiring for the application, my 
friend informed me that he had no such article, 
but he guessed he did sign some sort of paper 
which the agent explained was a mere ‘old line’ 
legal reserve form, and really had nothing to 
do with the policy itself. 

“I could find nothing unusual in the con- 
tract, but it was plain to me that there was a 
9i 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


'snake in the grass’ somewhere, and I was not 
long in making up my mind what to do next. 
I told my friend that I would see him again 
about four p. m., and immediately left his of- 
fice. 

“It occurred to me that it would be a good 
plan to have my own life insured by this 'old 
line’ legal reserve company, and thereby learn 
their methods in detail. Accordingly, I tele- 
phoned the local agency of the company that 
I was in the market for about $5,000 insurance; 
that I understood they could give me seven 
annual premiums on a 20-payment life policy, 
and asked if they would please send a repre- 
sentative to my office, as I wanted my protec- 
tion to begin at once. 

"Very soon a suave, well-dressed gentleman 
made his appearance, and after introducing 
himself, informed me that he had just received 
a telegram from the home office of his com- 
pany, to the effect that the particular policy I 
wanted was to be immediately withdrawn 
from the market, that the company was losing 
money through it. However, he would try to 
put my application through, as I could not well 
afford to lose the opportunity of securing such 
a very desirable proposition. 

92 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


“I, of course, appeared very ignorant of the 
forms and phrases common to insurance, and 
simply said that I desired the best I could get 
for the least money, and that I wanted it right 
away; whereupon, he produced the application 
blank (the document for which I had been so 
anxiously waiting). In it was embodied in 
very fine print, the following: 

“ 'Certificate of loan ($975.00). January 21, 
1905. This certifies that the com- 
pany, of has loaned on policy No. 

1,321 nine hundred and seventy-five dollars 
($975.00), being a part of the premium on said 
policy, which, with any additional loan, shall 
be a lien on the policy only until paid; interest 
at five per cent, per annum on the same, to be 
payable on the 21st day of January in each 
year, the amount of the existing loan to be 
endorsed hereon. 

“ 'The assured has the privilege of paying 
the loan prior to the termination of the policy. 

“ Tt is understood and agreed that if the in- 
terest shall not be paid when due, it shall be 
added to the principal of the loan. 

(Signed) ’ 

"I suddenly decided that, after all, I could 
manage to get along a few days longer with- 
93 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

out the $5,000 protection ; that I would like to 
look over this paper he wanted me to sign ; 
whereupon, I picked it up and placed it in my 
pocket. Of course he objected strenuously, 
but possession is nine-tenths of the law, and 
I did not propose to lose out at that stage of 
the game. 

“I explained to Mr. Agent that I was in 
somewhat of a hurry; that I had already lost 
much valuable time waiting for him, and if he 
would be so kind as to excuse me, I would 
call him up at my first opportunity. 

“The loan of $975 against the policy only 
was so arranged in the body of the application 
that the purchaser would have no suspicions, 
thinking that the company as an 'old line’ cor- 
poration, was surely free from fraud; and the 
average applicant seldom takes the precaution 
of reading the application blank thoroughly. 

“Had I not been suspicious I, too, would 
have been led into the trap, even though I had 
really intended taking the policy. 

“The loan note of $975 embodied in the ap- 
plication is accepted by the company as the 
security necessary to place with the state as 
the reserve on seven years’ insurance. So 
long as the policy is kept in force, the loan 
94 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


note against it is as good as the cash, inas- 
much as it carries five per cent, compound in- 
terest. 

“The face of the policy was payable at death 
only. The loan against it would continue to 
increase, and if the insured lived 30 years aft- 
er buying the policy his family would find 
that, instead of the $5, 000 in cash, which the 
husband and father had depended on to take 
care of his loved ones, they would receive only 
•$5,000 less $975, with five per cent, compound 
interest for 30 years, or $ 4,212 , leaving a bal- 
ance of only $788 due the estate. 

“It is needless to add that my friend, when 
he understood fully the conditions of the pol- 
icy, lost no time in finding the agent who had 
sold him this Very desirable proposition’ and, 
after threatening to expose the company’s 
methods in court, secured his 90-day note, and 
eventually took a policy in my own company.” 

>fc >|c 5fc >fc % 

While in a small country town in Ohio, sell- 
ing Yankee notions at auction, I met a stylish- 
ly dressed young man, who explained that 
he was collecting for a large Cincinnati col 
lecting agency, and that he had business in 
every small town in the state, 

95 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


The following morning, when ready to start 
for mv next town, this young man asked me 
if I wouldn't like to have him accompany me. 
I assured him that I would, and he jumped 
into my wagon. I found him a very interest- 
ing, well posted sort of a chap. 

On reaching our destination, he left me and 
went on with his business, while I attended to 
mine. The next morning he asked the name 
of my next town and, on hearing it, “Well," 
said he, “I am going there too, so I guess I'll 
ride with you again, if you don’t object." 

I was glad of his company, and once more 
we drove together. As on the previous day, 
he went about his business, and not until the 
next morning, when he was again all ready to 
accompany me, did I begin to suspect some- 
thing wrong. 

He carried only an ordinary valise, and I 
had never seen him handle papers or letters, 
and he couldn’t possibly have been receiving 
any mail. I began to wonder if I were travel- 
ing with a “cross-roader" of some sort, and 
began questioning him closely. 

While his answers were all right, there was 
something evasive about them, and conse- 
quently I kept quizzing. 

96 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

He always had plenty of money and kept 
getting more (collecting, as he claimed), but 
it didn’t seem that he was remitting any of it 
to his firm. This made things look still more 
suspicious. 

I had noticed that he was continually buy- 
ing apples, candy, peanuts, popcorn, and al- 
ways had his pockets full of cigars, and as 
neither he nor I smoked, he freely gave them 
to hotel clerks, landlords, porters, etc. When 
I questioned him about this, he smiled and 
said he bought them to give away to men from 
whom he was collecting. 

The more mysterious he became, the more 
anxious I was to learn something about him, 
and as he always found it just suited his con- 
venience to travel with me I let him do so. 

He had accompanied me for fully a week 
when, one day, I happened to go into a cigar 
store, where I found him discussing a mat- 
ter of change with the proprietor. He had 
purchased 25 cents’ worth of cigars, and had 
handed the merchant a $10 bill. The latter 
had placed the bill in his money till and had 
laid out four one dollar bills and 75 cents in 
change, and was searching for a five dollar 
97 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

bill to make up the balance, when suddenly 
the young man said : 

“By the way, I have a quarter in change, so 
just give me back the $10 bill/’ 

He then gathered up the four one dollar 
bills and the silver pieces, and put them in his 
pocket, together with the $10 bill that the 
merchant had handed back to him. In his 
confusion the merchant, for the time being, 
overlooked this. Still, as he afterwards ex- 
plained to me, he kept thinking there was 
something queer about that change transac- 
tion, and although, after counting his cash, he 
was still not quite sure, he called to the young 
man as he was about to leave the store and 
said: 

“Young man, I think when you and I were 
making change a few minutes ago there was 
an error in your favor. If you will step back 
here we will go over the matter again.” 

It was just when they were in the midst of 
the discussion that I appeared on the scene. 

The moment the merchant pointed out the 
different phases of the transaction the young 
man cried, in a most apologetic way: “By 
Jove! you are right, but I never should have 
98 



He Gathered up the One Dollar Bills and Silver Piece*. 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


known it, as I really don't know how much 
money I had about me." 

Handing over $4.75 he expressed real satis- 
faction in having the matter straightened, aft- 
er which he shook hands with the merchant 
and left the store. 

This opened my eyes to a scheme that was 
novel indeed. I asked the merchant if he had 
any idea that the young man had intention- 
ally taken the money. 

“Oh, no!" he quickly answered, “he was per- 
fectly innocent of any intentional wrongdo- 
ing; he unconsciously picked up my money 
with his ; that’s all." 

This incident set me to thinking about the 
numerous cigars, and the great amount of 
candy and peanuts he had been buying every 
day, and the following morning I took him to 
task about his scheme. 

At first he was emphatic in his denial, but 
when I urged, and in fact demanded that he 
produce some of his accounts for collection, 
he showed the “white feather" and confessed. 
He showed me his bank book, wherein his de- 
posits were over $2,000, all of which he had 
made in four or five months, besides what cash 
he had with him, which was considerable. 


100 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


As we were approaching the next town I 
said to him: “Now, sir, when we get to this 
town I want you to go directly to the depot 
and take the first train leaving in either direc- 
tion, and if I catch you here after that I shall 
have you placed under arrest. I have a wife 
and baby at home to support, and I don't pro- 
pose to take any chances of getting mixed up 
with a man in your kind of business." 

Needless to say, he followed my instruc- 
tions. Not many months afterward I heard 
of his trial and conviction in another part of 
the state for a case of swindling. 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


CHAPTER VIII. 

The first move in the game — Establishing con- 
fidence — A short walk while waiting for the 
train — The shingle mill, and the “Kain- 
tucky” mule dealer — Just “practicing” the 
game a little — How the game was playqd — 
The double cross — Career of “spieler” ended 
by insanity. 

When I was selling Yankee notions at auc- 
tion, one of my best towns was Howard City, 
Mich. I managed to make the town two or 
three times a year and would always stay sev- 
eral weeks. 

On these visits I invariably encountered, at 
the hotel, a gang of several “three-card 
monte” men, who were always carrying on a 
thrifty business. 

As to location the town was particularly 
favorable to them, being the western terminus 
of a short railroad, running through several 
small towns in eastern Michigan. People go- 
ing or coming between Grand Rapids and 


102 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

these towns were obliged to change cars at 
Howard City and wait between trains from 
one and a half to three hours. This wait gave 
the “steerer” ample time to form acquaint- 
ances and steer his proposed victim against 
the “spieler.” 

The town had a large shingle mill, and a 
quarter of a mile from the depot, near a side 
track, was an immense shed where quantities 
of shingles were kept preparatory to shipping. 

The man known as the “spieler” affected the 
style and manner of the Kentucky mule deal- 
er. He was tall and angular and wore a very 
long linen ulster and a slouch hat. 

A few moments before a train arrived he 
would start for the shingle shed and remain 
there in readiness for business until it had 
gone. In almost every instance some one 
would get off to change cars, necessitating a 
wait in the sitting room of the depot. It was 
the duty of a man styled “feeler” to size up the 
waiting traveler, and if he looked good, to take 
the first step toward fleecing him. 

Entering the waiting room he would step 
up to his man, and extending his hand cordial- 
ly, say: 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


“Well, I declare! How are you, Mr. Brown? 
Glad to see you/’ 

Whereupon the stranger would say: 

“Guess you are mistaken, my name isn’t 
Brown.” 

“Ain’t you J. W. Brown, the coal dealer, of 
Indianapolis, Indiana?” 

“No, sir; my name is John Hampton, of Bat- 
tle Creek, Michigan.” 

“Well, well! I never saw two men look so 
much alike. Of course you will excuse me, 
for I really supposed I was addressing an old 
acquaintance.” 

Leaving the traveler, making sure not to 
forget his name and address, the “feeler” 
would go to a secluded place and from a small 
booklet, containing the name of every United 
States bank with the names of the bank offi- 
cials, he would write on a card, “John Hamp- 
ton, Battle Creek, Mich.,” then the name of 
one of the prominent Battle Creek banks and 
its cashier. 

Meeting the “steerer” a few moments later, 
the “feeler” would hand him this card. Di- 
rectly the “steerer” would manage to come in 
contact with the stranger, pretending to rec- 
104 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

ognize him at once, and stepping up to him, 
would say: 

“Why, this is Mr. Hampton, of Battle 
Creek; don't remember me, do you? Well, I 
do you. Don't you remember, I was there sev- 
eral days visiting a relative, Mr. Joseph Smith, 
the banker there? You know him — at least 
he knows you." 

“Oh, yes," Mr. Hampton would said. “Glad 
to meet you." 

And flattered upon discovering that he was 
so well known, he would consider himself 
lucky to have met such a congenial gentleman 
with whom to pass the waiting hours. 

If Mr. Hampton, of Battle Creek, should 
happen to mention that he had known “Jo- 
seph" for a number of years, then the “steer- 
er" would say that he was a nephew of Mr. 
Smith's; if, however, Mr. Hamilton should 
say: “Well, Joseph is a fine young man," or 
“Joseph and my son went to school together," 
then the steerer would say that Joseph was his 
cousin. 

Having ascertained the direction the 
stranger was going, the “steerer" would an- 
nounce that he was going the same way and 
would suggest that they take a walk. Lead- 
io 5 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


ing the way, the “steerer” would go in the di- 
rection of the shingle mill, and would begin 
discussing the enormous quantity of shingles 
manufactured in Howard City, their superior 
quality, etc., and entering the shed would be- 
gin examining the shingles. 

Directly they would come upon a tall man 
with slouch hat and a long coat, standing over 
a bunch of shingles on which he was throwing 
three cards back and forth. The “steerer” and 
stranger, somewhat curious, would draw 
nearer to the tall man, who would laugh, and 
say in his southern dialect: 

“On my way up from Kaintuck, with a load 
of mules, a feller won a ten-dollar bill from 
me, with three little keerds, an’ I was jes’ prac- 
tizing the game maself.” 

The “steerer,” somewhat interested, would 
say: “Let’s see what it is.” 

The Kentucky mule dealer would pick up 
the three cards, and marking one with a cross 
in the center, would explain that he was prac- 
ticing the holding the three cards between 
the thumb and forefinger, and then throwing 
them one over the other so quickly that the 
eye could not follow the card with the cross on 
it. He would then say: 

106 




TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


“Now you gentlemen try and watch the 
card with the cross on, and see if you can pick 
it out.” 

Throwing the cards he would say: 

“Now pick out the one with the cross on it.” 

The “steerer” would select the wrong card, 
after which the “spieler” would laugh heartily 
and say: 

“Wall, you see, thet’s jes’ how I lost ma ten 
dollars.” 

At this juncture he would be suddenly tak- 
en with a fit of coughing, and while his head 
was turned, the “steerer” would pick up the 
card with the cross on it and turn up the very 
tip end of one corner, making sure that the 
stranger saw him do it. 

After his coughing spell the “spieler” would 
again throw the cards, and, pretending that 
he hadn’t noticed the turned-up end, would 
say: 

“Now, mistah, HI bet you $500 that you 
can’t pick out the card with the cross on it.” 

With this he would produce a large roll of 
bills just received for a carload of mules. 

“No,” the “steerer” would say, “I haven’t 
got $500, but I’ll bet you $10.” 

“All right,” the Kentuckian would answer, 
108 


told in the smoker 

“we will put the money up in this man's 
hands," pointing to the stranger. 

As the “steerer" put up his money he would 
say to the stranger: “You are in with this," 
and then of course he would pick the right 
card. At this juncture the “spieler" would 
again be taken with a coughing spell and 
meanwhile the stranger would pass the stake 
over to the “steerer." 

“Hold on here," the latter would say; “half 
of what I won belongs to you," and he would 
hand back a ten-dollar bill, saying: “Just give 
me five dollars and keep this." 

The object of this move was two-fold: 

First, in making the change, the “steerer" 
was given an opportunity to ascertain about 
how much cash his prospective victim had, 
and, second, his liberality in dividing his win- 
nings would, in a way, place the stranger un- 
der obligation to him, when it came to the 
“last joint for the coin," as they call it. 

By the time the ten dollars had been divided 
the “spieler" would have ceased coughing and, 
picking up the cards, would deftly turn down 
the corner of the marked card and turn up one 
corner of a blank one, and while doing this he 
would look the stranger in the eye and direct 
109 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

his conversation to him. Then he would again 
throw the cards, and offer again to bet $500 
that neither of them could pick the card with 
the cross. 

Having noticed that the stranger had $50 
or $60, the “steerer” would say: 

“We will bet you $75 that I can pick it.” 

“All right. I'll bet you all $75 you kaint 
pick it.” 

Turning to the stranger, the “steerer” would 
say: “I have $15, you let me have $60, and 
we’ll bet him.” 

It was usually a sure thing that the stran- 
ger would be eager to bet. 

On picking the wrong card, great disap- 
pointment was of course depicted on the coun- 
tenance of the “steerer,” who would instantly 
accuse the Kentuckian of being a swindler, and 
threaten him with arrest. He would start up 
town at once, accompanied by the stranger, 
also indignant and crest-fallen. 

Should the “steerer” know the victim has bet 
his last dollar, he would say to the “spieler”: 

“Don’t you think you ought to give us 
money enough to get out of town with? We 
are here among strangers, and not a cent in our 
pockets.” 


no 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


Whereupon the “spieler” would hand back 
enough to take them out of town. 

On the way up town the “steerer” would de- 
clare that an officer must be found and the 
swindler placed under arrest at once. 

As they rushed along they would encounter 
on the street corner a large portly man, wear- 
ing a marshal’s badge (another member of the 
gang), and the “steerer” would explain the 
incident and demand the swindler’s arrest. 

After asking all sorts of questions and get- 
ting a full description of the swindler, the mar- 
shal would say: 

“Well, I suppose you know the law of Mich- 
igan about betting. It doesn’t make any dif- 
ference whether a man wins or loses. If he 
bets at all, he lays himself liable to a fine and 
imprisonment, and as you men acknowledge 
that you have been betting I shall have to first 
lock you up and then look for the other fel- 
low. You may consider yourselves my prison- 
ers.” 

Of course they would both protest, each of- 
fering to let the matter drop rather than go to 
jail themselves. 

But the “marshal” would say: “I can’t af- 


iii 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


ford to let you go. Mv fees in a case like this 
amount to at least ten dollars.” 

If the “steerer” was aware that the victim 
had more than enough money left to get him 
out of town, he would begin negotiating a set- 
tlement, assuring the marshal that all they 
wanted was to get out of town and escape jail. 

When asked by the “marshal” how much 
they would give him to keep quiet, the “steer- 
er” would offer about half the amount he 
thought the victim still had. The “marshal” 
would then agree to settle for just double the 
amount, and the “steerer” would appeal to the 
victim, saying that he himself was entirely 
stranded, and would point out how necessary 
it was to avoid exposure and disgrace. 

Only too willing to settle, the stranger 
would offer to compromise. In making the 
settlement the “marshal” was always gener- 
ous enough to leave them sufficient money with 
which to get out of town. The swindlers, of 
course, being as anxious as their victims that 
the latter should get out of the way as soon as 
possible. 

This game was what the grafters called 
“The double cross.” 

*********** 


II 2 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


On the evening of my first visit to Howard 
City I made my notion auction sale from a 
carriage in front of the hotel. During the day 
I had noticed that several prosperous-looking 
men were stopping at the hotel, and wondered 
what was their business. While arranging 
my street lamps and preparing my stock they 
gathered about and in a friendly way inquired 
what my name was, where I was from and 
which direction I was traveling. It was plain 
that they were educated men of more than or- 
dinary ability, but all addicted to the exces- 
sive use of slang phrases. I asked the land- 
lord who they were, and he said they were all 
from Grand Rapids, and were nothing more 
nor less than confidence men. 

That evening, when I mounted my carriage 
to open my sale, there being no crowd, one of 
these men said to the others: “Come on, 
boys; let’s give him a 'front/ ” and they gath- 
ered around, apparently much interested. 

Soon a large crowd had gathered. I made 
my introductory talk and opened the sale. As 
is always the case, on the first day in a town, 
one waited for the other, and things were a 
little slow. 

Stepping up to the carriage, first one and 

1 13 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

then another of these four men purchased a 
batch of handkerchiefs, after which I had a 
fine run on handkerchiefs, and thereafter they 
would be among the first to purchase every 
new article offered. 

After closing* the evening's sale, and while 
straightening up my stock, the whole gang 
gathered around with their pockets and arms 
filled with goods, saying: 

“Well, Johnston, didn't we 'plug' your 
'game’ all right?” 

On meeting these men no one would ever 
suspect their calling. 

They used no profanity, drank no liquor, 
were square in their dealings with one anoth- 
er, and if one of them were taken sick the 
others gave him every attention. In all mat- 
ters of charity each was always ready with his 
share and no more sociable and companion- 
able .men could be found. 

Within two days I had learned every detail 
of their methods of operating. 

When I inquired why the authorities did not 
interfere, I was told that they were too much 
interested in the graft themselves. 

The member of this gang called the “spiel- 
114 



Standing Over Them, Gesticulating and Talking at a Furloiw 

Rate. 




TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


er,” who manipulated the cards, Kelly, by 
name, afterwards became mentally deranged 
and was sent to the Kalamazoo insane asylum, 
where he remained until his death. 

On one of my trips to Kalamazoo I visited 
the asylum, and I asked the guide if he knew 
anything about Kelly, the noted Grand Rapids 
confidence man, who had been sent there a 
few years before. 

“Indeed I do,” he replied. “He makes us 
all kinds of trouble in playing his old game 
with other patients in his ward. One day while 
taking some visitors through I noticed, over 
in one corner of the room, three men entirely 
nude, and another man standing over them 
gesticulating and talking at a furious rate. 

“Approaching them, I inquired what it all 
meant. Kelly laughed boisterously and, 
pointing to a big pile of clothing in the corner, 
I have just won a million dollars from these 
men/ he said. ‘See, it's piled up over there in 
the corner. Yes, sir, a straight million dol- 
lars/ He had persuaded these poor souls to 
bet their clothing, one piece after another, un- 
til they hadn’t a garment left.” 

I asked the guide to take me through Kel- 
ly’s ward, and, upon meeting Kelly, I said: 

116 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


“How do you do, Mr. Kelly? Perhaps you 
do not remember me. My name is Johnston. 
I used to be in the auction business. I met you 
and some friends at Howard City at different 
times.” 

“Oh, yes,” said he, his face lighting up for 
the instant. “Yes, yes, I remember you. You 
used to sell out of a carriage right in front of 
the hotel.” 

I thought to myself: “Well, now, he isn’t 
so crazy, after all.” 

Like a flash, however, his countenance 
changed and with a scowl he stared into va- 
cancy and said: 

“Let me see, there was something else about 
that; what was it now? O, didn’t you travel 
in the auction business with Christopher Co- 
lumbus?” 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


CHAPTER IX. 

Contractor number one — Contractor number 
two — Ready money and no investment — The 
deceased man’s relatives— Watching the 
death notices — Books sent C. O. D. — A sim- 
ilar graft in jewelry — The tobacco box— 
How the box was made — How the scheme 
was worked — Quick wit saved him, but 
landed his would-be victim in jail. 

While traveling through southern Illinois, 
in 1895, in the auction business, I ran across 
two men who were making the best of an 
abundant apple crop that year with a very 
smooth graft. 

It had to be worked during, or just prior to. 
the season for gathering and marketing the 
crop, which made the time very short, but the 
one, who, in confidence, gave their scheme 
away to me, explained that the same graft 
worked nearly the whole summer and fall in 
potatoes, cherries, or many other stable crops. 

118 


/> 





TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


Just at a time when the apple crop was far 
enough developed to enable the farmer or fruit 
grower to make a fair estimate of what he 
might expect, one of these smooth looking, 
business-like fellows would start out with a 
hired horse and buggy, representing himself 
to be from a large New York fruit concern, 
and posting himself on the price of choice 
picked apples by the barrel, he would call up- 
on every farmer in the county who had a large 
orchard, and, agreeing to pay fancy prices, 
would contract for their entire apple crop, es- 
timated at so many barrels, to be delivered at 
the depot of the nearest shipping point. 

He carried blank contracts, and after pay- 
ing each farmer five dollars, to make the con- 
tract binding, he would get their signature to 
it, and drive on, leaving his name, however, 
and the name of the hotel and the town where 
he or his partner could always be found in 
case any of the farmer’s friends should have 
an apple crop to sell. 

During this grafter’s canvass, his accom- 
plice would be stopping at another town, 
where they could not possibly be seen togeth- 
er, and where he would remain until it was 
time to act his part. 


120 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


When Grafter Number One had finished his 
canvass and had in his possession a large num- 
ber of contracts, he would go to his hotel and 
Grafter Number Two would start out, fol- 
lowing over his very tracks, also buying ap- 
ples, he would represent himself as one of a 
large fruit firm from St. Louis, or some other 
large city, a long distance from New York. 

In his conversation with the fruit grower, 
he would make no bones of saying that in the 
country where his firm did their biggest bus- 
iness, the apple crop was a total failure, and, 
after looking over the man's crop, he would 
make him an offer of from fifty cents to a dol- 
lar a barrel more than the other man had con- 
tracted for. 

Of course this would arouse the avarice of 
almost any thrifty person, and if the farmer 
was frank enough to acknowledge that he had 
contracted them, Grafter Number Two would 
suggest that perhaps the buyer would release 
him, if he would have a talk with him, and 
then, to prove his sincerity, he would say: 

‘Til tell you what I’ll do; I’ll sign an agree- 
ment here to-day to take your crop at the price 
I have quoted, provided you can get released; 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


and if you wish, I will make a cash deposit 
on the proposition.” 

If the farmer said nothing of his having 
contracted his crop, Grafter Number Two 
would say: 

“Well, if you wish to sell me your crop, Til 
give you a written agreement, and a sufficient 
deposit to bind the bargain; if you don’t care 
to contract to-day, just think the matter over 
a day or two, or a week, if you choose, and if 
you want to let me have them, come to such a 
hotel, at such a town, where you can find me 
any evening, or on Saturdays or Sundays, and 
I will close a contract with you.” 

So saying, he would take his departure and 
call upon the next man. 

The following day, after Grafter Number 
Two had started out, Grafter Number One 
would be busy, at his hotel, all day, and every 
day thereafter, compromising with the farm- 
ers, and being governed by the estimate of 
each farmer’s crop, he would be figuring him 
out of all he could get. 

In instances where the grower had immense 
orchards, Grafter Number One had usually 
paid a deposit of not less than twenty-five dol- 
lars, and in settling with these wealthy men, 


122 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


he would receive a considerable amount of 
cash, and no very small amounts would he get 
from any of them. 

In fact, for from two or three weeks, it 
would be a harvest of money, and as soon as 
the “lambs were all shorn” new pastures would 
be sought. And that: was the last the farmers 
would ever see or hear of either one of them. 

A unique method of money getting was that 
of a young man, who, at the time I became 
acquainted with his system, was operating 
from a fair sized town in Ohio. 

His was what might be called the “dead 
man’s graft.” 

After securing a lodging place, with a suit- 
able room in which to transact his quiet bus- 
iness, he would announce to the landlady that 
he was handling books, a fair supply of which 
he always kept on hand, and which consisted 
of works on medicine, law, agriculture, stock 
raising, merchandising, and various other 
subjects. 

These books were of the cheapest quality 
that could be secured, and always second hand 
ones, if possible to procure them. 

Thus equipped, he would subscribe for every 

123 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


weekly newspaper within a radius of four or 
five counties around him. 

The death notices of every paper received 
would be carefully scanned and notes made, 
and the name and address secured of every 
doctor, lawyer, merchant, farmer or stock 
raiser whose death was announced in any one 
of the numerous papers. 

Whenever a doctor had died, he would im- 
mediately send, C. O. D. by express, to his 
name and address, one of his cheap medical 
books, which possibly cost him forty or fifty 
cents, and make the collection from five dol- 
lars and fifty cents to eight fifty. 

Upon each package would be stamped “Dr. 
, Medical Works,” and so on, accord- 
ing to whether it was a doctor, lawyer, mer- 
chant or whomsoever. 

This accomplished, he would simply await 
results. 

Of course the express charges would fok 
low, and in most instances the relatives of the 
deceased would not stop to investigate the 
matter, but, presuming that the book had been 
subscribed for, the charges and amount of 
collection would be paid at once, and in many 
124 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


instances, before the deceased had been laid 
in his grave. 

No return address being placed upon the 
package, in case it was not taken out and the 
C. O. D. paid, it would continue to lie there 
until the express company would eventually 
make some disposition of it, along with oth- 
er packages which had not been called for; 
therefore all the shipper would be out was the 
first cost of the book. 

The price being so high, and the average of 
books paid for ranging so well, the grafter’s 
profits were large, and as soon as the field had 
been worked thoroughly, and before the dupes 
had caught on, he would select fresh territory 
and begin anew. 

When I met this young grafter, he was 
making his headquarters at a hotel, where I 
had located for a couple of months to fit spec- 
tacles. 

I one day asked the clerk what the young 
man’s business was. He said that he was selb 
ing books, but how in the world he procured 
the orders for them he couldn’t understand, as 
he surely had no agents out, scarcely ever 
wrote a letter, but was constantly sending 

125 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

books C. O. D., and every day receiving col- 
lections. 

Determined to ascertain his methods, I set 
to work, and in no time discovered that it was 
a graft of the rankest sort. 

When I confronted him with it, and told 
him just how he worked it, he said: 

“Well, it’s a good money getter, anyhow, 
and as I am working no one but dead men, 
there is no one to kick.” 

A certain traveling man, who had made 
visits to this town every two weeks, and who 
had made the acquaintance of this young 
grafter, told me that the book graft, with all 
the money there was in it, had gotten too slow 
for the young man, and he and some friends 
had organized a rubber plantation scheme, 
which had involved them in a mix-up and 
which threatened criminal prosecution and 
probable imprisonment for all. 

This “dead man graft” reminded me of the 
shady transaction of a witty Irishman, who 
was a manufacturing jeweler at North Attle- 
boro, Mass., and who sold me goods in Chi- 
cago for a number of years. 

He found a great deal of pleasure in tell- 
126 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


in g this story, and in his inimitable Irish 
fashion made it very entertaining. 

Among the out of date goods in their stock 
was three or four gross of old-fashioned, 
immensely wide bracelets, a huge lot of old 
styled extremely wide necklaces, with large 
lockets, about five gross each of jet ear drops 
and breast pins, and a large quantity of other 
old truck, that there was no probability of 
their ever being able to get one cent on the 
dollar of its first cost. 

Being a partner in the concern, he had tak- 
en the precaution to have made out a list of 
all they had on hand, setting forth the num- 
ber of dozens or gross and the cost of making 
it, after which it was entered into his memor- 
andum book. 

At a certain medium sized town in Illinois, 
he one day called upon one of their old cus- 
tomers and took his order for a fair sized bill 
of the latest novelties. 

That evening while at the hotel, the report 
was circulated that this jeweler (their old cus- 
tomer) had dropped dead with heart trouble 
just as he arrived home from his day’s bus- 
iness. 

It instantly occurred to the witty Irishman 
127 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


than now, of all times, was his opportunity to 
dispose of his out of date goods. 

He therefore sat down and copied on his 
manifold order book as a continuation of the 
jeweler’s order of that afternoon, every bit of 
this old stock at enormous prices, knowing 
full well that the bill, as usual, would be dis- 
counted by the sons, who would naturally con- 
tinue the business. 

The order was mailed to the house, and the 
goods promptly shipped, and the day upon 
which he reached home from his trip, a check 
was lying on the cashier’s desk in full payment 
for everything. 

The last I saw of this man he was stranded, 
and had just started out in Chicago, selling 
gold and silver mining stock on commission. 

For a number of years, two young men trav- 
eled together out of Toledo, who had what 
they called the “tobacco box graft.” 

During the summer and fall seasons they 
would visit towns where circuses and county 
fairs were held, and although they were fre- 
quently arrested, they managed for years to 
escape any heavy fines or long jail sentences. 

128 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

The tobacco box in question was a very in- 
genious affair. 

It was made entirely of wood, about four 
inches long, an inch and a half wide, and an 
inch and a half thick, with a slide cover. 

It was so arranged that, when closing the 
lid and turning the box on either side, a lead 
plug would drop into a groove which would 
lock it securely, and only those who under- 
stood it could possibly open it. 

Then, when closing the cover and turning 
the box on one side, and then giving it one 
more turn, placing the front down, the same 
lead plug would drop into still another groove, 
locking it still more securely, or at least mak- 
ing it more complicated than ever. 

This was the graft: 

The one who carried the tobacco box would 
pick his man and, after having a short con- 
versation with him, would take out his tobac- 
co box and, taking a chew of tobacco, would 
ask his stranger friend to have a chew. 
Whether he chewed or not, the novelty of the 
thing usually interested him, and naturally 
enough he would comment upon it, and, to 
still more interest him, the grafter would say: 

“See here, let me show you something/’ 
129 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


Thus taking it from the stranger’s hand, he 
would turn the box on its side, letting the plug 
drop into the stop, and, handing it back tc 
him, would say: “There now, you see it is 
locked.” Which the stranger would find to 
be true, and, too, with no visible means of un- 
locking it. 

But, to be a good fellow, the grafter would 
let him into the secret, and, after showing him 
how the box must be turned on its side to be 
locked and turned back again to unlock it, he 
would let the stranger try it several times, un- 
til the latter was convinced that he under- 
stood it well. 

The grafter would then explain that he fre- 
quently had a great deal of fun, and often 
made a little money out of men who asked for 
a chew of tobacco and who, when finding the 
box locked, were ready to bet that it couldn’t 
be unlocked. 

After having “fixed” his man, the grafter 
gives the necessary cue to his pal, who saun- 
ters along, and inadvertently asks for a chew 
of tobacco. 

By this time the grafter, unbeknown to the 
stranger, has locked the box with both com- 
binations, one of which has not been ex- 

130 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


plained to him, and because of which he would 
not be able to open it in a hundred years. 

When asked for a chew of tobacco by his 
pal, the grafter hands out the odd looking box 
to the supposed stranger, who, when finding 
that it can't be opened, says: 

“By Jove! I guess that’s an April fool box, 
or it isn’t a box at all.” 

“Can’t you open it?” queries the grafter. 

“No; and I’ll bet you fifty dollars it can’t be 
opened.” 

“I’ll bet you fifty dollars that my friend 
here can open it while I count ten,” said the 
grafter. 

“All right, I’ll bet you he can’t,” replies his 
pal, “nor can any other man, because there 
isn’t any key hole, nor anything else to unlock 
it with.” 

At this the grafter takes from his pocket 
ten or fifteen dollars and, turning to the 
stranger, says: 

“Let me have thirty-five dollars quick, to 
put with mine, and we will bet him.” 

Of course, if the stranger hasn’t that much, 
they will pool what money they have, and 
make a bet with it. 

As the stranger takes the box into his hands 
I 3 I 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

and begins turning it first on one side, and 
then the other, the grafter begins to count, 
very slowly, “One — Two — Three — ” by this 
time the stranger discovers that the thing 
won’t unlock, and in less time than it takes to 
tell it, beads of perspiration are standing out 
on his face, and, greatly excited, he is tugging 
and working with the box. 

The grafter counts so very slowly that the 
pal, or supposed stranger, gets disgusted and 
sings out: “Count faster, count faster; you 
are cheating.” 

At last, when he is forced to count to ten, 
and the box remains unopened, quickly pass- 
ing the stakes to the winner, the grafter 
snatches the box from the stranger’s hands, 
and in an impetuous way, gives it two turns, 
instead of one, as the victim has been instruct- 
ed, and open comes the box, much to the seem- 
ing disgust of the grafter, and the lamenta- 
tions of the victim, whose money has been 
quickly separated from him, and one more 
lesson taught about playing another man’s 
game. 

A very amusing little story was told of how 
one of these grafters one time turned the ta- 
132 



Began Walking Slowly Backwards and Forwards Through 

the Crowd. 




TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

bles on an unsophisticated farmer’s boy at Up- 
per Sandusky. 

It seems that during the county fairs there 
the town usually had been flooded with graft- 
ers of all kinds, and the mayor had given the 
strictest orders to every officer to run in any 
man caught with any sort of device for bunko- 
ing the people. 

The grafter who on this occasion carried the 
tobacco box had selected his victim, a green 
country farmer’s boy, who had been display- 
ing considerable money, and spending it free- 
ly, and, after having had an interesting con- 
versation with him, had “steered” him around 
back of a side show tent, where both had sat 
down on the ground, and, just as the grafter 
was holding the tobacco box in his hand, and 
was in the very act of demonstrating its se- 
crets to the young farmer, he happened to look 
up, and there stood an officer, wearing a large 
badge and gazing down at them with intense 
interest. 

Realizing that tobacco boxes were cheaper 
than fines, the grafter instantly jumped to his 
feet, and, throwing the box in the farmer’s lap, 
excitedly cried out: 

“You kaint bunko me, ser; not much! I’ve 
134 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

seed one of them there things afore. Ef you 
want to skin some one, you better try and 
ketch a sucker.” 

So saying, he dashed out and made his es- 
cape. 

Before the poor farmer boy realized what 
was happening, the officer had seized the to- 
bacco box as evidence against him, had placed 
him under arrest, piled him into a patrol wagon 
and had landed him in jail, where he remained 
three days before he recovered sufficiently 
from his fright to be able to explain how it 
happened. 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


CHAPTER X. 

One of the oldest, but most successful — From 
corn salve to electric belts* — Lining up the 
different pools — Better to-day than forty 
years ago — The corn cutter bluff — A five 
hundred dollar pitch — His escape— How he 
did it. 

The old time give-away graft apparently 
will never have its day. 

The first time I ever saw this game played 
was when I was eight years of age, and the 
last time, when I was fifty-two, or only a year 
ago. 

The game in its entirety was the same a 
year ago as it was forty-five years ago, with 
the exception that the suckers were more plen- 
tiful in the last instance than in the first. 

Perhaps, however, the modern grafter was 
the more clever of the two; at any rate, he was 
clever enough, besides being possessed of an 
abundance of nerve and self-confidence. 

Securing from the liveryman a pair of horses 
and a carriage with a driver, he would go out 
136 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

upon the streets on a circus or county fair day, 
after having “fixed” the chief of police. 

While the driver was jogging his team along 
Main street, the grafter would stand up in the 
carriage, holding in one hand a large roll of 
bills, while with the other he was throwing 
silver pieces and dollar bills in every direction, 
and in the meantime shouting at the top of his 
voice his intention to distribute fifty thousand 
dollars upon the streets that afternoon. 

As soon as a large crowd had gathered at 
the corner where he had stopped, he intro- 
duced and began extolling the wonderful cur- 
ative properties of a corn salve which was put 
up in wooden boxes, and, had he been actually 
selling the remedy on its real merits, he 
couldn’t have made a stronger or more effect- 
ive talk than he did the day upon which I wit- 
nessed his performance. 

At last, again bringing forth his immense 
roll of money, he said: 

“I have a system of advertising this salve 
that will make every man who deals with me 
remember it as long as he lives. 

“Now, gentlemen, the more liberal you are 
with me, the more generous I can be with you. 

“My purpose to-day is to sell one dozen 
137 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

boxes of this salve to begin with, and I want 
every man who makes a purchase to remain 
right here and be ready to hold up the box in 
plain view when I ask him to do so. 

“Now then, who will give me ten cents for 
this box? Remember, the more liberal you 
are with me, the more generous I can be with 
you, and to start with, I shall sell but one doz- 
en boxes now. Who will give me ten cents for 
this one?” 

In an instant four dozen hands were up, each 
holding up a ten-cent piece. 

After handing out twelve boxes, he refused 
to sell any more for the time being. 

When the twelve boxes had been delivered 
and paid for, he lined up the twelve buyers in 
a row and said: 

“You have been liberal with me, now I’ll be 
generous with you.” So saying, he turned to 
the first man and asked him if he would be sat- 
isfied to receive back twice the amount he had 
paid, and he keep the remedy. 

When the man said he would, the grafter 
handed him twenty cents, saying: “Now, sir, 
will you promise me to either use this salve 
yourself or give it to some one who will, and 
not forget the name of it?” 

138 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


The man faithfully agreed to do so, when 
the grafter did the same thing and demanded 
the same promise from the other eleven. 

He then went on: u Now, gentlemen, I am 
going to make up another pool for advertis- 
ing purposes, but remember, none of the 
twelve who were in this pool can come in with 
the next.” 

When ready to begin again, he said: “Don’t 
forget, gentlemen, the more liberal you are 
with me, the more generous I can be with you. 
Now then, here are two dozen boxes. Who 
will give me twenty-five cents for this box as 
a starter? Who is the first man to show me 
that he has confidence in me?” 

In a jiffy a hundred hands were up, each 
holding a quarter and demanding one of the 
boxes. 

When two dozen had been passed out and 
the cash received for them, he lined up two 
rows of twelve men each, and, subjecting them 
to the same questioning as before, and exact- 
ing the same promises from them, gave back 
to each buyer the twenty-five cents he had paid 
and another twenty-five with it, each to keep 
his box of salve. 


*39 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

By this time the crowd had increased, and 
the excitement was intense. 

“Now,” said the grafter, “I am going to 
drive over there on the other corner, and I 
don’t want you men who have just been in the 
last two pools to follow me.” 

So saying, he gave the directions to the driv- 
er, who followed his instructions. 

Of course, the whole crowd, including the 
pool members, all followed him. 

Again addressing the crowd, he said: 

“Gentlemen, a few moments ago I formed a 
pool of thirty-six men, across the street, for 
the express purpose of advertising my firm’s 
famous corn salve, and although it cost me a 
little money to do so, yet the amount given 
away is a mere bagatelle as compared with 
what we will get out of the sale of our medi- 
cine from this advertising.” 

Then, opening up a large valise, he produced 
a quantity of electric belts, and explained that 
he wanted to do a little advertising for them 
before dinner. 

“Now, gentlemen,” he went on, “I am going 
to form one or twp, or possibly three pools on 
these belts with a view to advertising them.” 

Here he gave a most excellent talk on elec- 
I 4° 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

trie belts, which, in itself, was indeed convinc- 
ing as to his sincerity and honesty of purpose. 

Holding up one of the belts, he said: “Now, 
friends, I want you to impress this upon your 
minds, that the more liberal you are with me, 
the more generous I can be with you. Who 
will give me twenty dollars for this belt? Re- 
member, I am going to leave it with each one 
of you to pass up to me any amount, from one 
to twenty dollars ; no less than one, nor more 
than twenty, and the more liberal you are with 
me, the more generous I can be with you. 
Where is the man who has confidence enough 
in me to pay twenty dollars for this belt?” 

And, looking straight at a well dressed bus- 
iness appearing man, he said: “Haven’t you 
confidence enough in me to pay me twenty dol- 
lars for this belt?” 

“Yes, sir, I have,” said the man, and, step- 
ping forward, he passed up a twenty-dollar 
bill, and reached for the belt. 

“Now,” said the grafter, “I wish you would 
stand right over here on this side of the car- 
riage, and remain there until I ask you to hold 
up your belt. 

“Now, who will give me ten dollars for this 
belt?” and, turning to one of three colored men 
141 



TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


who stood near, he said: “Have you got ten 
dollars, sir?” 

“Yes, sah, I has,” came the reply. 

“Well then, give it to me and take this belt,” 
shouted the grafter, and the darky meekly did 
as requested. 

“Now,” said the grafter, “you stand on this 
other side of the carriage, and wait for me.” 

This time he asked for a five dollar investor, 
at the same time announcing that one or two 
dollars would be accepted. 

Whereupon a flood of one and two dollar 
bills came pouring in. 

Those who paid one dollar were lined up in 
one row, and the two dollar men in another, 
with the precaution that no one should leave 
until he was through with them. 

After the one and two dollar rush, he called 
for another five dollar investor, still repeat- 
ing, “The more liberal you are with me, the 
more generous I can be with you.” 

A moment later, two men came forward, 
each with a five-dollar bill, and then followed 
four more, all of whom were lined up in a pool 
by themselves. 

At this juncture he began another talk on 
143 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


the wonderful curative properties of the belts, 
and when finishing, called for four more twen- 
ty dollar investors, which he soon found, to- 
gether with still five others, making altogeth- 
er ten twenty-dollar dupes, each of which were 
lined up in the twenty-dollar pool. 

Turning to two of the colored men who still 
stood looking on, he said: “Why haven’t you 
men bought?” 

“Because we hain’t got no money,” came the 
reply, and, addressing their colored comrade, 
who stood in the ten dollar row, the grafter 
said: 

“Here, you loan these men two dollars 
apiece,” which he instantly did, and before 
they had had time to get into line, he once 
more turned to the old colored man in the ten 
dollar line, and said: 

“Here, you loan your friends each another 
two dollars, and hurry up before I close these 
pools.” 

As if completely under his control, the old 
darky handed it over, when the grafter raked 
it in and handed to each one another electric 
belt. 

By this time he was ready for more ten dol- 
144 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


lar investors, and in no time had at least a doz- 
en of them, and wound up by asking for a larg- 
er pool of five dollar investors, and as if duty 
bound to contribute their share, several of 
those who had stood out to the last, came for- 
ward with their five-dollar bills, and carried 
off a worthless belt. 

As soon as it began to look as if he was go- 
ing to close up, at least twenty men came for- 
ward with from one to two dollars, and, re- 
ceiving their belt, lined up where they be- 
longed. 

About this time the grafter, as if having 
heard some one in the crowd making remarks 
about him, said : 

“What’s that? Was that meant for me?” 

And looking intently in a certain direction, 
he appeared wonderfully wrought up, and ex- 
citedly said: 

“So you are going to cut out my heart, are 
you? Well now, we’ll see about that.” 

So saying, he reached to the bottom of his 
valise, and bringing out an ugly looking corn 
cutter, with a blade fully eighteen inches long, 
began carefully feeling of its edge, and while 
doing so, recited the Razor poem, as follows: 
145 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


“You know a gun shoots fast and loud, 

But a razor is the real thing in a crowd, 

I could have used it better than a 44, 

If they had only fought with razors in the war/' 

At the conclusion of the poem, he took the 
corn cutter in his hand, coolly crawled down 
from the buggy, and began walking slowly 
backward and forward through the crowd, 
carefully scrutinizing every face, as if trying to 
locate the man who had threatened to take his 
heart’s blood. 

The glitter of the old ,corn cutter, and the 
terrible look of vengeance on his face had the 
desired effect, and when he climbed back into 
the carriage, every man stood as if paralyzed 
and speechless, and actually seemed to have 
forgotten what had happened, or what was ex- 
pected to happen. 

Having given the cue to the driver to start 
on, he still held the corn cutter, and, as if ter- 
ribly agitated, and still anxious to meet the 
man who had threatened him, remained stand- 
ing up in the carriage, and kept repeating, as 
if to himself: “I would like to see some man 
cut my heart out; would just like to have him 
try it on,” and, while repeating these last 
146 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


words, once more carefully felt of the edge of 
the big knife, as if to make sure that it was 
sufficiently sharp for an emergency. 

Under a full trot, the team started off with 
the grafter and his baggage, (his hotel and 
livery bills having been paid in advance), and 
no stop was made until he had been landed 
twenty miles distant, across country, in some 
small town, four or five hundred dollars to the 
good. 

His dupes still stood in line, each staring at 
the other, with a silly expression of counte- 
nance, and a ten cent belt dangling from their 
hands. 

As the grafter's team started off, the old 
darky who had been, so obedient to his com- 
mands was the only man who had the courage 
to protest, and yelled: 

“See yher! You generous white man, what 
my fambly gwine to do fer sumpin' to eat? 
Gim me back ma ten dollars, or I top you bug- 
gy over, you scoundrel !” 

So saying, he and his two colored compan- 
ions rushed toward the carriage, when con- 
veniently near by stood an officer, who said: 

“What you niggers loitering around here 
for? Go on home, or I'll run you in." 

147 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


*********** 

The sugar graft was one that a Chicago man 
made a great deal of money out of (among 
farmers) before he was run to earth. 

With an old horse and a covered peddler's 
wagon, he started out with a load of sugar, put 
up in tin cans of the proper size to hold one 
dollar and eighty cents' worth of sugar, at the 
regular retail price, the wholesale price of 
which, to him, would be about one dollar and 
twenty-five cents. 

After visiting the county seat of some good 
farming county, and remaining there long 
enough to “get a line on the town," that he 
might be able to talk intelligently of the dif- 
ferent streets and business houses, he would 
start out and call upon the farmers of that 
county with a proposition to sell one of his 
thirty pound cans of white sugar for one dol- 
lar and twenty-five cents in cash. 

He would represent that he had recently 
moved to their county seat, where he expected 
to reside in the future, and would make, there- 
after, regular thirty-day trips, enabling them 
to replenish their supply of sugar at the low- 
est possible price. 

Sugar, being a staple article in every house- 
148 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

hold, and one that they must buy anyhow 
sooner or later, and there being an actual sav- 
ing of at least fifty cents by purchasing from 
him, he had no difficulty whatever in making 
a sale at the house of almost every thrifty, 
well-to-do farmer. 

Many a farmer, who wondered how this 
man could afford to sell sugar so much cheap- 
er than the cheapest grocers could handle it, 
in many instances paid for it several times 
over. 

His graft was more like thieving than graft- 
ing. 

When selling a can of sugar for a dollar and 
twenty-five cents, he would almost invariably, 
or at least very often, be handed a five or ten 
and occasionally a twenty-dollar bill from 
which to take the amount due him. 

Having, from practice, become very skillful 
in palming, he would always, when making 
change, keep palmed in one hand a one-dollar 
bill, nicely folded in such a way that the fig- 
ures upon it would not show on either side. 

Should a farmer hand him a five, ten or 
twenty dollar bill, he would begin folding it in 
the manner as the one-dollar bill, and then, 
149 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

suddenly remembering that he had paid out all 
his change, would say: 

“Well, here I am short of change, so you just 
let this go, and pay me on my next trip, in 
thirty days.” 

So saying, he would shift the large bill the 
farmer had given him for the one-dollar bill 
which he had been palming, and hand it to the 
farmer, saying: 

“Put it in your pocket and pay me next 
time.” 

Not one chance in a thousand that the farm- 
er would unfold the bill, but instead would 
open his purse and carefully lay it away, just 
as it had been handed to him. 

This, as can readily be seen, was a graft of 
some magnitude. 

Unlike almost anything else that the graft- 
er might have offered for sale, sugar, at such 
a low price, would at once attract and interest 
nearly everyone. 

Fifteen or twenty sales per day was not an 
uncommon thing, and where the proper change 
was handed to him, he received the first cost 
of the goods, anyhow, and if only a half dozen 
farmers were grafted in a day, his ill-gotten 
wealth accumulated rapidly. 

ISO 



Ferced Him to Pay Back Their Money* 




TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

He was very careful not to go into the coun- 
ty seat again during his stay in that county, 
and never to travel any road the second time. 

To replenish his stock, he would have 
shipped to small nearby towns, from one to 
three barrels of sugar. 

This grafter's success through Illinois was 
something marvelous for a business being op- 
erated without capital. 

After a few months, he decided to try Kan- 
sas, and the second day out he was overtaken 
by a party of six or seven men on horseback, 
whom he had victimized the day before, and 
who immediately took him from the wagon, 
forced him to pay back their money, and 
enough more to defray their expenses and 
compensate them for their time, and then took 
him back to the county seat, and landed him 
in jail. 


152 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


CHAPTER XI. 

The backer a Chicago man — Rehearsing — Two 
thousand dollars or nothing — The most 
clever of all clever tricks, and the most heart- 
less — How it was done. 

The note graft, conceived and managed by 
a wealthy Chicago money loaner only a few 
years ago, made a fortune in a short time, and 
possibly is being worked at the present time. 

His real identity is probably not known to 
anyone outside of the men engaged in the 
graft, from one of whom I succeeded in getting 
my information regarding the inside working 
of it. 

The name of the originator my informant 
positively refused to divulge, merely alluding 
to him as his backer. 

The backer would remain at his post or le- 
gitimate place of business in Chicago, and from 
there, aided by two able assistants, would di- 
rect and manage the graft as though he were 
153 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


at the head of an immense trust of some kind. 

Being well known as a thoroughly square 
and upright business man — a man who lived 
in the height of fashion, and in the most aris- 
tocratic portion of the city, and associated with 
none but “the Four Hundred,” and whose bus- 
iness was that of loaning large amounts on 
real estate only — he was in an ideal position 
to manipulate a scheme of this kind, without 
the slightest possibility of ever being suspi- 
cioned or detected. 

In his selection of men to carry on his ne- 
farious work of swindling the rich and unwary 
farmers, he was very careful and would not 
under any circumstances allow the two men 
who worked jointly to go out together until he 
had personally superintended actual rehear- 
sals, time and again, of the parts they were to 
play in his drama of life. 

And as he had two men working in several 
different states at the same time, it can readily 
be seen that to approach a man on a subject so 
delicate would necessarily require some tact 
and an excellent knowledge of men and human 
nature in general, as well as considerable ex- 
ecutive ability to manage them successfully, 
when once selected and set to work. 

x 54 



The Banker Directed the Graft as Though He Were at the 
Head of an Immense Trust, 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

When satisfied that each of the two men se- 
lected to work together was thoroughly com- 
petent to play his part, a certain town in a 
certain state would be selected, and one of the 
men started out. 

This man was a book agent, or was to rep- 
resent himself as such, and was supposed to be 
canvassing for a book on the subject of stock 
raising, and in order to make the play doubly 
strong, before starting out he was required to 
learn a thorough canvass on this work. 

On arriving at his destination, he would en- 
gage a horse and buggy at a livery barn, and, 
starting out, would travel in the country and 
among the wealthiest class of farmers. 

When reaching a point several miles from 
town, he would select the farmer whom he 
considered of the class they were looking for, 
and, after canvassing him thoroughly on the 
book, would arrange to make his headquarters 
there for one week, and possibly two, explain- 
ing that he would prefer to have a regular 
stopping place while canvassing that neigh- 
borhood, rather than to feel unsettled and nev- 
er know where he was going to stay, and to 
make it interesting, would offer a good round 
price for the accommodation. 

15b 


\ 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

As soon as he was properly located, a ci- 
pher message would be sent to the Chicago 
headquarters, when Grafter Number Two 
would immediately follow. 

Grafter Number Two was supposed to be a 
land agent, representing a Philadelphia con- 
cern, and working on commission, and doing 
a very thriving business. 

Before Number Two started out, he was 
given, in addition to the necessary expense 
money, two thousand dollars in currency, to be 
at all times designated and known as the “bank 
roll.” 

To make this man thoroughly familiar with 
land dealers, the backer, who had at one time 
been engaged in that business, and still dab- 
bled in it occasionally, spent considerable time 
in posting him in every detail of the work, 
that there should be no “slip” on his part as 
an up-to-date land agent. 

Thus equipped, Number Two would follow 
Number One and, alighting from the train 
would immediately call at the postoffice for in- 
structions from his accomplice, and, engaging 
a horse and buggy, would start out. 

Driving in the direction given, he would 
stop at every house and, in apparent earnest- 
157 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

ness, would get all the information possible as 
to whose farms were for sale or rent. 

After working in this particular neighbor- 
hood for three or four days, and stirring up 
things in general, he would happen around (at 
the appointed time) at the home of the farmer 
at whose house the book agent was quartered. 

He would manage to arrive there toward 
evening, and, if possible, arrange to remain 
over night. 

He, being well posted on land deals, and his 
pal as well posted on the book he was selling, 
they had no trouble in entertaining each other 
and making it interesting for the farmer and 
his family. 

After discussing the different phases of bus- 
iness, and the topics of the day, the land agent, 
in a half boastful way, would begin hinting 
about his own personal success in life, and 
finally remark that he had a couple of thou- 
sand dollars that he would like to let out to 
some responsible farmer. 

The book agent would say: 

“Well, I think your head is level. If I had 
two thousand dollars, I’d rather have it in the 
hands of a good farmer, secured by a mort- 
gage on his place, than in any bank.” 

158 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

“Oh, well, I wouldn’t care for a mortgage,” 
put in the land agent; “all I would care about 
would be to know that he was an honorable 
and responsible man, and I would let him have 
it at a mighty low rate of interest, too” 

Almost any farmer would jump at a chance 
of this kind, unless he had plenty of money 
in the bank, and even then he might be able to 
figure out a way to use such a large sum of 
money at a low rate of interest and no secur- 
ity. 

Thus, the farmer and his wife would become 
interested, and before ten o’clock the next 
morning arrangements would be in progress 
for the loan. 

To hurry things and to make it look easy to 
the farmer, the land agent, after making many 
inquiries as to the farmer’s responsibility and 
prospects, and as to whether or not there was 
already a mortgage on the place, says: “Well, 
I have the money right here in my pocket.” 

So saying, he takes out a roll of large bills, 
and lets them all see it. 

“By Jove!” remarks the book agent, “I 
wouldn’t carry all that money around with me 
under any circumstances.” 

“Nor I,” the farmer’s wife would likely say. 
159 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

At last a blank note, which the book agent 
just happens to have in his possession, is 
filled out, making the amount two thousand 
dollars, due two years from date, with interest 
at whatever they have agreed upon, possibly 
five or five and a half per cent. 

While the farmer is in the act of signing it, 
the land agent takes out his roll of money and, 
spreading it out in a pile, lets it remain there 
while he looks the note over and folds it ready 
to put in his pocket. 

At this juncture the book agent, who in the 
meantime has been carefully scrutinizing the 
top bill on the pile of money, grabs the note 
out of the land agent's hand and, tearing it to 
pieces (or pretending to do so), cries out: 

“You are a fraud! This money is counter- 
feit money, and you shan’t cheat this innocent 
man out of his note.” 

Instantly the land agent grabs the pile of 
money and, thrusting it into his pocket, jumps 
to his feet and makes a demonstration, as if to 
attack the book man, who stuffs the torn 
pieces of note in his mouth, and chews them 
up. 

Of course, the episode would cause great 
confusion and excitement, and extremely hard 
160 


. ( ^ 4 H< \J- 

/ / r 



*Yoa'i>e a Fraud! This Is Counterfeit Montyl” 



TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

feelings between the book agent and land 
agent. 

The latter would naturally feel insulted, 
and express a desire and willingness to allow 
any banker to examine it, and then, producing 
the money, would attempt to show that the 
money was genuine. 

The book man was equally certain that the 
bill that was lying on top of the pile was not 
genuine. 

The land agent, apparently much excited 
and unnerved, would say to the farmer: “All 
I ask is to convince you that I am no swindler, 
and before I leave the neighborhood, and aft- 
er our smart friend here, the book agent, has 
gone, perhaps we can do business. We will 
wait and see.” 

The farmer would, of course, fell very kind- 
ly toward the book agent for the great inter- 
est shown in his behalf, even though he may 
suspect that he was mistaken about the monev 
being spurious. 

The land agent now drives off, and the book 
agent remains with the farmer, and has in his 
pocket the latter’s note of two thousand dol- 
lars, payable two years from date. 

Instead of tearing and chewing up the real 
162 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

note, he had chewed up a fake note, which he 
had held in his hand all the time during the 
negotiations, and which was quickly shifted 
for the real note, and torn and chewed up. 

This note, payable in two years, would be 
sent to the backer in Chicago, who would lay 
it away until a few days before it was due, 
when it would be sent to some bank for collec- 
tion, with accumulated interest. 

When the farmer entered a protest, through 
the bank, the backer would simply say: “I 
know nothing whatever about the matter; all 
I want is my money, and that I must have. I 
took the note in good faith, and unless the 
man’s signature can be proven a forgery 
(which of course it could not), he must pay it, 
if he is worth it, and I guess he is.” 

A few weeks before the note came due, the 
backer would take the pains to get a special re- 
port through the mercantile agencies as to the 
farmer’s financial credit standing. 

All reports and communications pertaining 
to the matter w 7 ere carefully kept on file, all of 
which could be used as evidence to prove the 
cautiousness, good faith and business-like 
methods of the Chicago man. 

The two years given on the note would en- 
163 


TOLD IN THE SMOKRR 

able the grafters to move a few miles distant 
and turn another trick, inasmuch as no noise 
had been made, and not the least suspicion 
would be created until the notes were sent on 
for collection two years later, thus giving the 
two men ample time to work the best part of 
the state. 

Of course the backer would furnish all the 
cash necessary to defray expenses and to en- 
able his two grafters to live well, and after the 
notes were collected and expenses deducted, 
the money left on hand would be divided 
equally between the three. 

This, in my estimation, was one of the 
smoothest farmers’ grafts of any of the many 
that I have investigated during the past thirty 
years. 

Making the note payable in two years was a 
shrewd proposition, and one that no one but a 
wealthy man could have carried through. 

The two years’ time, during which no in- 
vestigation would be made, thus allowing am- 
ple time to clean up the state, was a clever 
feature of the game, and in that respect was 
different from any other I ever heard of. 


164 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


CHAPTER XII. 

No use for regular patrons — Bearded stranger 
with tously hair — Sleeping barbers — The tall 
barber with the “gray beard” — How he did 
it — Jealousy among barbers in this shop — 
Every patron is a “Guy” — A ten-cent tip 
more appreciated than a dollar job — Dis- 
rupting, rather than elevating their calling — 
Episode of a “bum” hair cut. 

In one of the largest and best known barber 
shops in Chicago there are perhaps twenty or 
twenty-five chairs. 

Many years ago, before the city had such 
an enormous floating population, a man could 
visit this shop and be treated with due courte- 
sy, even though his only requirement was a 
plain shave. 

Not so in these days of hustle, bustle and 
competition. 

165 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


Now-a-days every barber in this immense 
shop is looking for a “sucker,” or, as they call 
them, a “guy.” 

Little does he care for the regular every-day 
patron. No, indeed! He is on the lookout for 
a stranger, and, if possible, one who is well 
dressed and whose growth of hair and beard 
would indicate that he had just emerged from 
a few weeks’ stay in the north woods. 

Let such an individual appear on the scene, 
and every man in the shop is on his feet in an 
instant, all bowing and scraping and smiling 
blandly. 

The tonsorial artist in whose chair this 
stranger finally becomes seated is a very poor 
grafter if he doesn’t succeed in taking the vic- 
tim “down the line,” as they call it. 

So long as the “poor devil” acquiesces in 
every suggestion made by the barber, and free- 
ly submits to the process of a hair cut, sham- 
poo, singeing, hot-towel, massage, shaving, 
hair tonic, neck shaving, face lotion, the trim- 
ming of eyebrows, and various other extras, he 
may expect the most courteous treatment. 

When finished, his bill of one dollar and 
seventy-five cents is presented, and if he leaves 
1 66 



TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

the shop without tipping the barber twenty- 
five cents for condescending to do his work, 
he is at once set down as a “cheap skate,” and 
ever after known as such to every grafter in 
the shop. 

Let us compare this victim’s reception on 
the first day when he appeared in this shop, 
with the long beard and tously hair, and when 
every grafter not busy instantly sprang to his 
feet and humbly catered for his work, with his 
appearance the following morning, when this 
same man returned for his ordinary, every-day 
shave. 

Every grafter in the shop who is not busy 
will be sitting on the foot rest in front of his 
chair, sound asleep. If they are not all asleep 
when he enters, they soon will be, because the 
moment he makes his appearance, some one 
of those who are busy will give the cue by a 
peculiar cough or hacking sound, that a “dead 
one” is entering, and instantly all are slum- 
bering. Even the grafter who trimmed this 
“guy” the day before has no further use for 
him until he needs another run “down the 
line.” 

These barbers freely admit that they have 
no use for a man who calls for a shave only. 

1 68 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

Such a customer is very liable to prevent 
them from getting a “down the line guy.” 

A grafter, from some quarter of the globe, 
where the barber business had been run on a 
business basis, one morning applied for a job 
at this shop, and was instantly set to work. 

That day he had eighteen straight shaves at 
fifteen cents each, and that evening, the man- 
ager discharged him, saying: 

“We want grafters here,” and declared that 
a barber who couldn’t “cop out” a half dozen 
hair cuts and shampoos from eighteen shaves, 
whether they were needed or not, was no good. 

One of the smoothest grafts in the barber 
business has been going on in this shop for 
many years, and was adopted and successful- 
ly carried on by a barber whose financial cir- 
cumstances at the present time would enable 
him to snap his fingers at the proprietor or 
manager of any shop who would threaten his 
discharge. 

About twenty years ago, this barber began 
educating his customers to the idea of wearing 
full beards. 

He wore one himself, which he kept trimmed 
in up-to-date style, and advocated it, as a pro- 
169 


TOLD IN TPIE SMOKER 

tection against coughs, colds and throat trou- 
bles. 

In no time he began to have a following, and 
before his brother barbers were half aware of 
what his “graft” was, he had secured a suffi- 
cient following to keep him busy from morn- 
ing until night, every day of the week, trim- 
ming beards, cutting hair and shampooing. 

Whenever a patron of the shop came to his 
chair for a shave only, he politely informed 
him that several men were waiting for his 
chair, and it would, therefore, be best for him to 
let one of the other barbers wait upon him. 

Having manipulated matters so that he was 
almost constantly kept busy skimming off the 
cream and leaving the curd for his poor de- 
luded fellow barbers, he found it an easy mat- 
ter to more than double the receipts of any 
man in the shop. 

He said nothing and “sawed wood,” and I 
have been told that it was “many moons” be- 
fore even the barbers working in the chairs 
next to him “tumbled,” as it were, to his 
smooth little graft, because it was a graft, pure 
and simple; not that he in any way imposed 
upon his own patrons, but because he deceived 
170 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

and misled others, and forced his fellow work- 
men to play second fiddle. 

When on a recent visit to this city I called 
at this shop, and the first man I met was this 
barber, busy, as usual, trimming “gray beards.” 

Although there was not a customer waiting 
in the shop, the moment I began removing my 
hat and overcoat, and he saw that I wanted 
a shave, he said, in his most polite and effusive 
manner: 

“Johnston, I am very sorry, but I have four 
men waiting for me, but any one of these men 
will give you a fine shave.” 

After awakening the barber at the first 
empty chair, and taking a seat, I awaited mv 
doom. 

He glared savagely at me for a moment, and 
said: “Hair cut?” 

“Do you think it needs it?” I asked. 

“Well, it needs a little trimming around the 
edges, and ought to be washed.” 

“So?” I answered. “Strange — just had it 
cut and my head shampooed in Cleveland day 
before yesterday. Guess Til let it go for an- 
other day. Just give me a shave now.” 

At this, he grabbed up a towel, and placing 
171 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


it over my shirt front, began stuffing it vicious- 
ly down my neck. 

“Why didn’t you let your friend up there 
shave you? I saw you shake hands with him.” 

“Did you see that?” I asked. 

“Why, yes, of course I saw it?” 

“How could you,” I inquired, “when you 
were sound asleep, and I had to awaken you 
to get you to shave me?” 

As soon as he had finished lathering me, he 
brought out an old razor, with a blade as wide 
as a case knife, and began to rake me up one 
way and down the other. 

“Now see here,” I said, “you put away that 
old hoe and get out your best razor and give 
me as good a shave as you ever gave a man in 
this shop, or I’ll get out of this chair and bump 
your head up against that mirror good and 
hard; now don’t fool away any more time, for 
I mean business, and will do exactly as I say.” 

No man ever got down to business more 
quickly than he did, and from that on he was 
courtesy and politeness itself. 

Before finishing the job he grew confiden- 
tial, and I had no trouble in drawing him out 
as to his opinion of the tall man with whom I 
had just previously shaken hands, and who by 
172 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

this time had another gray beard in his chair, 
and I presume four others waiting. 

Jealousy and contempt would not be words 
to sufficiently express this barber's feeling for 
the tall man, who had outfigured and outdone 
them all, mentally and financially. 

He called him every bad name he could think 
of, and found great comfort in the knowledge 
that the younger generation wouldn't patron- 
ize him any more, as he had forgotten how to 
shave, and that scarcely a week passed that one 
or more of his old “gray beards" were not 
dying off, and that it was only a matter of 
time when the old grafter would be out of busi- 
ness. 

To stand by and see the tall man raking in 
the coin, on a graft that had lasted, and held 
good for twenty years, and had made him a 
rich man, was surely enough to make less for- 
tunate barbers turn green with envy. 

It isn't altogether the system of graft that 
has demoralized the barber business in this 
shop, but the system of tipping, as well. 

If they would charge twenty-five cents for 
a shave and forbid tips of all kinds, the patrons 
would be better satisfied, while the barber 
would be as well compensated. 

173 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

Relating these barber grafts reminds me of 
a little episode, and, if the reader will pardon 
me for digressing, I will relate it. 

Fifteen years ago, while a resident of Chi- 
cago, I had a barber, whose name was Dick, 
at one of the leading shops, and to whom I en- 
deavored to give all my work. 

One day I had occasion to go on a week’s 
trip to Kankakee, Illinois, and while there I 
had my hair cut, and it was about the worst 
hair cut I had ever seen. 

On returning to the city I went to the bar- 
ber shop the next day, and finding Dick, my 
barber, very busy, with three or four men wait- 
ing, I went down the line and took the chair 
of a barber by the name of Jones. 

Quickly noticing my hair, he said: 

“Great Caesar, Johnston, what a ‘bum’ hair 
cut! Where upon the face of the earth did 
you get that?” 

“Why do you ask,” I inquired; “what’s the 
matter with it?” 

“Well, Johnston,” he went on, “that is abso- 
lutely the worst I ever saw. Who did it?” 

“Why,” said I, “who do you suppose did it? 
Dick, of course, and he told me it was the best 
job he had done in the shop for six weeks, and 
i74 



iiJjjjiH 

Grabbed His Hat and Razor and Escaped. 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

you know as well as I what Dick’s reputation 
is as a barber. Just call Dick down here and 
see what he has to say for himself.” 

“No, no!” cried Jones; “you know how Dick 
is; he’s a scrapper. Don’t say a word. Let it 
go; let it go.” 

“But,” I insisted, “I’ll not stand for as bad a 
hair cut as you claim I have, and I’m going 
after Dick good and hard.” 

“Oh, well,” said Jones, “It isn’t so awful bad. 
To tell you the truth, I was just joking about 
it. The hair cut is all right.” 

When ready to leave the shop, I said: 

“I am not quite satisfied with this hair cut, 
and ” 

“But,” he interrupted, “don’t say a word to 
Dick; he’ll half kill me if you do.” 

“Well,” I insisted, “I shall speak to him 
about it anyhow.” 

As I came to Dick’s chair, on my way out, I 
stopped, and removing my hat called his atten- 
tion to my bad hair cut, and while he was in- 
specting it, I hurriedly told him the story of 
how Jones had condemned it, and that I had 
made him take it all back by telling him that 
it was he, Dick, who did the job. 

Quickly taking in the situation Dick started 
176 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


toward Jones's chair, when the latter grabbed 
his hat and razor and escaped through the rear 
end of the shop at a quarter-horse gait, and 
didn't return until some of the other barbers 
saw him and explained the joke to him. 


*77 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


CHAPTER XIII. 

Another envelope proposition — A guest of four 
hotels at once— Hotel men duped — Two 
hundred dollars in three days — How he did 
it — The stock drover— Farmers’ signatures 
his specialty — How he secured them — How 
he made use cf them. 

Another very smooth fake envelope graft, 
which was intended for, and worked, almost 
exclusively, on hotel men, was that of a well- 
dressed, up-to-date young man, who affected 
the all around sporting man. 

A few days prior to my arrival at one of the 
leading hotels in a town of fifteen thousand 
inhabitants in Southern Indiana, a handsome, 
well-dressed and well-educated young man 
had registered at this hotel, and after remain- 
ing two or three days, had disappeared, after 
which it was discovered that he had not only 
swindled this landlord, but every other leading 
hotel man in the town as well. 

There was but one landlord out of the lot 
178 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

who, after it was all over, was able to explain 
just how the “trick was turned.” 

This young grafter would call at every prom- 
inent hotel in town, and after registering and 
securing a room, would look about for a mo- 
ment and say to the landlord, clerk, and who- 
ever else might be in the office, “Let's go take 
a drink.” And being a most jovial sort of fel- 
low, and an interesting story teller, would very 
soon have every one present interested in him. 

He carried no baggage whatever, and that 
the landlord would feel easy and not be likely 
to demand pay in advance, the grafter would 
at once flash a large roll of bills and show a 
disposition to be very liberal. 

Some time during the day, and at a time 
when the landlord was in the office, the grafter 
would step up to the counter, and removing 
a newspaper and a large envelope from his 
pocket, would spread the paper upon the 
counter, and taking a roll of bills from his 
pocket would say: 

“Landlord, I am going to leave five hundred 
dollars with you to put in the safe, and I want 
you to help me count out the amount,” which 
it so happened, left him just a five dollar bill, 
and which he put into his vest pocket, saying: 
179 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

“Five dollars will be all I need for the pres- 
ent.” 

With this he would put the five hundred dol- 
lars into an envelope, right before the face and 
eyes of the landlord, and after sealing it and 
writing his name and the amount on the en- 
velope, would carelessly and in a perfectly nat- 
ural way, raise up one corner of the newspaper, 
place the envelope, ink side up, under it, and 
spread the paper over it as if using it for a 
blotter. 

After pressing it down a moment he would 
reach under the paper, and bringing forth a 
large envelope, would hand it to the landlord 
and say: 

“Just put it in the safe.” 

Then, as if desirous of saving his newspaper, 
he would, while picking it up, skilfully fold it 
and place it back into his pocket, after which he 
would again ask the landlord to take a drink, 
thus enabling him to spend a part of his five 
dollars, and at the same time prove that he 
was a profitable man to have around. 

He kept his baggage at a small hotel near 
the depot, where it would be convenient, after 
finishing the town, to easily board a train. 

He frequented every hotel where he had 
180 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

registered, was on hand at every one of them 
at meal time, and littered up the room, soiled 
towels and disarranged the bedclothes and 
pillows in all of them. 

The second day after having left the envel- 
ope with the landlord he would wait until he 
found him in the office, when he would come 
rushing up to the counter, all out of breath, 
and stating that he was in a hurry, would say: 

“Landlord, give me twenty-five dollars out 
of the drawer and IT1 be back in a half hour 
and pay you back.” 

When the landlord would go to the money 
drawer the grafter would get as close to him 
as possible, and if he was able to see that there 
was considerable money in the till he would 
say: “Make it fifty, landlord; I think I've a 
chance to 'kill a rabbit/ ” meaning, of course, 
that he was about to sit in a poker game, or 
at least had something up his sleeve. 

When he had landed one hotel man he would 
go to the next, and so on until he had finished 
the town. 

One of the landlords of this town he had 
asked for fifty dollars, and then said make it 
seventy-five, which he got very easily. Two 
181 


TOLD IN -THE SMOKER 


others he had gotten fifty dollars from and 
another twenty-five. 

Four victims in all from whom he had se- 
cured a total of just two hundred dollars in 
less than three days. He hadn’t spent a cent 
for hotel bills, and probably hadn’t spent ten 
dollars in the town. 

As soon as the grafter had disappeared the 
landlord of the hotel where I was stopping be- 
gan to scratch his head and think, and the 
more he thought about it the more convinced 
he was that he had been bunkoed. 

To try and get some information about the 
young man the landlord made a few inquiries 
here and there and soon learned that he had 
been stopping at one of the other hotels. This 
report, of course, caused him to investigate 
further, and it was soon discovered that he had 
stopped with three others, all of whom had 
been fleeced. 

On opening their envelopes the contents 
were found to be brown paper. 

My landlord took the matter philosophical- 
ly and easily explained just how it was man- 
aged, as it was then perfectly plain to him, 
when he came to think about the newspaper, 
etc. 


182 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


The young grafter had prepared the fake en- 
velope and had written his name and the 
amount of money in it and placed it in one of 
the folds of the newspaper in such a way that 
when he took the paper from his pocket and 
spread it out upon the counter the fake envel- 
ope was under it, and when the grafter had 
placed the money package under the news- 
paper, to blot the fresh ink, all he had to do, 
when reaching for it, was to bring forth the 
fake envelope instead, and hand it to the land- 
lord, after which he would, while picking up 
his newspaper, skillfully fold it around the 
money package and put both in his pocket. 

At the rate this grafter worked in this town 
he was good for from four to five hundred dol- 
lars per week, and splendid prospects for get- 
ting into the penitentiary. 

The receipt graft was another of those 
schemes to procure the signatures of wealthy 
farmers. 

This graft was worked successfully by a 
large, rough looking man of over fifty years of 
age, whose personal appearance was that of the 
typical stock buyer. Uncouth in manner, face 
and hands unwashed, thoroughly well posted 
183 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

in stock of all kinds, he was ever ready to do 
business with every farmer which whom he 
came in contact whose note for one thousand 
dollars was considered good. 

With an old horse and buggy he would travel 
among the wealthiest stock raisers, and being 
well posted, would find no trouble in purchas- 
ing from one to a half dozen head of cattle 
from almost any one who had marketable 
stock. 

When making a deal it was always with the 
understanding that the farmer was to deliver 
the stock on hoof to the nearest shipping 
point, but not to do so until notified by the 
drover upon what day to deliver them. 

Then to bind the bargain the drover would 
say: “Now, if you will step into the house 
where we can get some writing paper, so you 
can give me a receipt for it, I will pay you 
enough down to bind the bargain, and on the 
day you deliver them I shall be there to pay the 
balance in full.” 

Entering the house, the farmer would find 
a piece of paper upon which the drover would 
write out, with a fountain pen, a receipt for the 
amount paid as a deposit, after which he would, 
184 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

in a thoughtless way, put the fountain pen and 
holder back into his vest pocket. 

Then handing the written receipt for the 
farmer to inspect would say, “Just sign it right 
there at the bottom/’ 

If the farmer happened to have a pen and 
ink of his own, well and good; if, however, he 
should say, “Just let me take your pen, please,” 
all right ; the drover, reaching to his vest 
pocket would bring forth a fountain pen with 
which the farmer would sign his name. 

In about a year the farmer would receive 
notice from the leading bank of the nearest 
town that they held a note against him for 
collection for one thousand dollars. 

Calling at the bank he would be shown the 
note, and would be obliged to admit that it 
was his signature, but the question was, how, 
when and where could he have signed it? 

The note would be dated back two years, 
with interest as high as the laws of the state 
would allow, therefore the farmer could have 
his choice of two things ; pay about eleven hun- 
dred and fifty dollars, principal and interest, 
or fight a law suit with slim chances of win- 
ning. 

Like the two thousand dollar note graft, the 

i8 5 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


drover had an accomplice who stood high in 
the business world and who attended to the 
collecting end of the deal. 

After scouring the country well and select- 
ing only the cream, the stock dealer would de- 
part to other ports. 

This grafter’s fine work was done by the 
use of two fountain pens. 

The one with which he wrote the body of 
the receipt, was filled with an ink that within 
six weeks would evaporate and leave the paper 
upon which it was written as bare and clean 
as though it never had been touched. 

After writing the body of the receipt, it will 
be remembered, the drover put the pen and 
holder back into his pocket as if he had only 
carelessly done so. 

When the farmer asked for his pen, he 
simply reached to the other vest pocket and 
produced a fountain pen with the holder filled 
with genuine ink. 

As soon as the fake ink would evaporate, 
leaving the farmer’s name perfectly plain and 
distinct, a regular promissory note for one 
thousand dollars would be drawn up, dating it 
about a year back, and making it come due a 
year hence. 


18 6 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

Even though the farmer should deny that 
he ever signed it, yet his signature is there, 
and its genuineness could easily be established 
by handwriting experts; therefore there was 
nothing left for him to do but pay up and shut 
up. 

The only commendable feature of this 
scoundrel’s graft was, that although he could 
have as well made the note read three, five or 
ten thousand dollars as one thousand, yet he 
did have soul enough, and feeling enough, to 
draw the line, in every case, at one thousand 
dollars. 


18 7 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


CHAPTER XIV. 

Very old, but always successful — The “High 
Mark” and the “Rummy” very friendly — 
The mysterious Indian — Gold brick found 
buried — How it was discovered — Hidden in 
the wheat bin — A trip to the State Capitol — 
A search for an assayer — The assayer’s fa- 
vorable opinion — The return home — An im- 
portant telegram — The deal closed — The 
trick turned for seven thousand dollars in 
cash. 

The old time “gold brick scheme,” although 
familiar in name to almost every person who 
reads newspapers, or in any way pretends to 
keep up with the times, is, nevertheless, a game 
of which few people have the vaguest idea of 
its inside workings. 

Even men who have been bunkoed out of 
thousands of dollars by a gang of these sharp- 
ers were afterwards unable to understand or 
explain every phase of the play. 

Men engaged in this risky work are, to begin 
with, careful, conservative, long-headed and 
educated men; in fact they are just the class of 
188 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

men who, one would suppose, would keep clear 
of such dangerous and atrocious work. 

In my investigations of all sorts of grafts 
and bunko schemes, it was many years before 
I was able to understand how it could be possi- 
ble to sell an intelligent farmer a gold brick 
for from thirty-five hundred to seven thousand 
dollars. 

A man might stop at the same hotel with 
one or a dozen of these confidence men for six 
months and never for a moment suspect what 
was their business; nor would he even suspect 
that they were in any way interested in each 
other. 

Always supplied with an abundance of 
money, dressed in the height of fashion, edu- 
cated, refined and cultured, they were able to 
disarm one of any possible suspicion, and for 
that reason were the more dangerous. 

Even while working up a gold brick job no 
two of them were ever seen together. 

Nothing would ever be known of them or 
their work until some farmer had been swin- 
dled out of several thousand dollars. 

The newspapers were, of course, unable to 
give but a vague account of the affair because 
189 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


of the farmer’s inability to explain how he had 
been duped. 

Then again, there is not one in ten of these 
cases where the farmer’s pride would let it be 
known when he had been gold-bricked. 

For these reason the gold brick men, of all 
confidence men, would naturally be the hardest 
to meet, and the most difficult from whom to 
get inside information. 

Only for the fact that I incidentally discov- 
ered that a man whom I had always known 
was in the gold brick business, and had been 
for years, unknown to me, or any others of his 
townsmen, I am sure I never should have been 
able to fathom the mysteries of the game. 

The reader will recall my story of the young 
man formerly from the town near where I was 
raised, which I designated as “The Society 
Man’s Graft,” Chapter IV. 

This grafter had a brother younger than he 
and who had been given a college education. 

Having a naturally good physique, he de- 
veloped into a magnificent specimen of man- 
hood. When twenty-four years of age he 
weighed two hundred and thirty pounds, hand- 
some, well proportioned and a fluent talker, 
with the vocabulary of a college professor. 

190 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


His first start in life, after leaving college, 
was to engage with a large St. Louis tobacco 
house as a traveling salesman. 

While on the road he began playing poker, 
and eventually neglected his business to en- 
gage in the game. 

Later on he began frequenting regular gam- 
bling houses when visiting the larger cities. 

This brought him in contact with the sport- 
ing element, and in no time he lost his posi- 
tion, and being without funds or influence to 
procure another, his only recourse was to 
openly become a gambler. 

For many years I supposed, as did many 
others of his old townsmen, that he had turned 
out to be an all around sport; a frequenter of 
race tracks, a better on base ball games, pugi- 
listic encounters, etc. 

In this, however, we were all mistaken. 

While I was in the jewelry business in Chi- 
cago he made frequent calls at my store and 
purchased from me a very fine watch and three 
or four diamonds on different occasions. 

On one of his visits he was accompanied by 
a bright looking fellow with whom I happened 
to have a few moments’ private conversation, 
191 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

when I asked which direction they were going 

r.ext. 

He said that they had plans all laid for a job 
up in Wisconsin. 

I then asked: 

“What are you fellows working now?” 

“Gold brick/’ he replied. 

I then said: “Charlie has been working the 
gold brick game a long time, hasn’t he?” 

“Yes,” said he, “and he is one of the finest 
in the country, and has, no doubt, turned the 
trick for bigger money than any other gold 
brick man in the world.” 

A few moments later I invited Charlie, as 
I always did, into my private office, and sur- 
prising him with my knowledge of his busi- 
ness, was no time in getting from him the story 
of his life from the time he left college; also the 
inside working of the gold brick graft, all of 
which was very interesting. 

In the first place, as he explained, he and 
his gang, of which he was considered the head, 
never played for small stakes, seven thousand 
dollars being the maximum and five thousand 
the minimum. 

They had three different plans for “putting 
192 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

up the job,” one of which he explained in detail 
as being very successful. 

The first step taken was to locate their man, 
and this required skillful, careful work on the 
part of the advance man, or first man on the 
ground. 

When a substantial farmer with plenty of 
property, a good bank account, or at least a 
good credit standing at the bank, had been 
located, the “High Mark,” as the head man 
was called, would visit the locality, and calling 
upon the farmer or “Rummy,” as he was 
known to the gang, would explain that he was 
a retired business man from Massachusetts, 
and was just looking around, principally for 
a little rest and recreation, and with a possible 
view to eventually buying a small farm upon 
which to spend his remaining days. 

The last trick they had turned, prior to this 
visit to Chicago, was in Southern Ohio, and 
was a follows : 

Charlie, as “High Mark,” called upon a 
farmer who had been carefully selected by the 
advance man. 

After giving the above explanation as to 
what brought him there, he made inquiries as 
193 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


to whether or not there was any kind of good 
hunting in that section of the country. 

When informed that there was excellent 
squirrel hunting, and that the season was then 
open, he became very enthusiastic, and asked 
the farmer if he ever hunted much. 

The reply was that he scarcely ever did, 
principally for the reason that he had a poor 
gun and was not much experienced as a 
hunter. 

“Now see here,” said the grafter, “I have, at 
mv hotel down town, three or four fine guns, 
plenty of ammunition, and money enough in 
my pocket to pay the bills for a couple or three 
weeks, and I want to have a little fun. 

“If you will give me board and lodging for 
a week or two I'll bring out my guns and will 
pay you twenty or twenty-five dollars a week, 
with the understanding that you are to give up 
your personal time to go out with me, and we 
will have a great time; what do you say?” 

Making an agreement of this kind, the fol- 
lowing day the grafter returns, bag and bag- 
gage, to the farmer’s home. 

The first day they went to the woods for the 
prrnose of erecting a blind under which to hide 
194 


TOLD IX THE SMOKER 

while waiting under the oak and hickory trees 
for the squirrels to appear. 

After the blind was finished the grafter 
hinted that he had a bottle of “good stuff” in 
his pocket, and producing a quart bottle of 
choice wine and whiskey mixed, took a drink 
himself and passed it to the farmer, who also 
took a social smile. 

Then, to make the blind more attractive, he 
hid the bottle under a log, remarking that it 
would come in good play hereafter. 

Being a good shot and an experienced 
sportsman, the grafter’s success in bringing 
down a fine mess of squirrels every morning, 
when they went out, made things doubly inter- 
esting, besides a swig from the bottle livened 
things generally and created a good appetite 
for breakfast. 

After the “High Mark” had established him- 
self in the good graces of the farmer and his 
family., one of his pals appeared in his role. 

This accomplice was a full blood Indian who 
had been educated by the United States gov- 
ernment. 

He had joined the gang in the west and had 
been with them for several years, and as Char- 
lie explained, was a shrewd, foxy fellow, quick 
195 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

to detect a weak point in the game, and equally 
as quick to appreciate a strong point. 

On going to the blind one morning, and 
while quietly waiting for game, the grafter 
happened to notice, a short distance away, and 
on the opposite side of the fence, a man who 
seemed to be digging a hole in the ground. 

He immediately called the farmer’s atten- 
tion to the discovery, and with much curiosity 
both watched the outcome. 

When the man had dug a hole about two or 
three feet deep he picked up a chunk of some 
kind and placing it in the hole, covered it up; 
after which he scattered the little surplus dirt 
broadcast, and then carefully covered the top 
with pieces of sod, and very carefully pressed 
it down that it might not have the appearance 
of ever having been removed. 

Of course, during all this performance, Mr. 
“Grafter” and Mr. “Rummy” were fairly star- 
ing their eyes out and speculating in their 
minds what in the name of common sense the 
fellow could be doing, and where he came from. 

When having finished filling up the hole the 
man cautiously looked around for a moment, 
then taking his shovel to a clump of bushes 
carefully hid it, and then climbing the fence, 
196 



With Mueh Curiosity Both Watched the Outcome* 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

started back through the woods, near enough 
to the blind to enable the grafter and the 
farmer to discover that he was an Indian in 
full buckskin suit. 

As he passed out of sight the men discussed 
the meaning of it all, and finally, when satis- 
fied that the Indian was safely out of the way, 
the grafter suggested an investigation. 

The farmer, overflownig with curiosity, was 
only too ready to look into the matter, and the 
two started for the place. 

Of course the first thing to do was to pro- 
cure the shovel and dig until whatever the man 
had placed there was found. 

This they did, and very soon came upon a 
hard substance wrapped in a gunnysack. 

When opened up, what had they found but 
an immense chunk of gold. 

Gold it must be, otherwise the man wouldn’t 
spend his time hiding it away. 

Now that they had such a prize in their pos- 
session, what course should they pursue? 

Their great wonderment was, who was the 
Indian, and how he came by the gold, and yet, 
as possession was nine points in law, what dif- 
ference should it make to them after all? 

To be sure, the upright, honest thing to do 
190 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

would be to report the case to the authorities 
and turn the gold over to them, but as neither 
the grafter nor the farmer suggested such a 
course, some other disposition of the chunk of 
gold had to be made. 

After first one suggestion and then another, 
the grafter proposed to remove it to the farm- 
er’s barn and there bury it in the wheat bin, 
and let it remain until they should decide what 
to do further. 

Here Charlie explained to me that never 
under any circumstances would he call it a 
gold brick; but would always refer to it as a 
chunk of gold when speaking of it to the 
farmer. 

The wheat bin suggestion was decided upon, 
and after filling up the hole and placing the 
shovel where it had been found, the gold was 
carried to the barn and carefully concealed 
underneath three feet of wheat. 

Now came the question of what to do next. 

The farmer’s greatest anxiety was to be cer- 
tain that it was really gold. 

The grafter felt certain in his own mind that 
it could be nothing else but gold, yet he 
thought it best to try, in some way, to have it 
199 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

tested, and wondered how that could best be 
done. 

At last the farmer suggested just what the 
grafter had been waiting and wishing for, that 
they look up an assayer (provided it could be 
done with safety), and let him test it. 

The grafter declared that it would be per- 
fectly safe, and proposed that they hitch up 
the next day and drive to the town where the 
farmer did his marketing, leave the team at a 
livery barn, and together go to Columbus by 
train, look up an assayer, have the material 
tested, and return on the afternoon train. 

This they did, and on alighting from the 
train at Columbus they started up town, and 
very soon met an intelligent looking man (one 
of the gang, of course). Stepping up to him, 
in a business-like way, the “High Mark” asked 
if he could tell him whether or not there was 
an assayer’s office in the city. 

“Oh, yes,” said the man, and instantly di- 
rected them to a certain building and told 
them they would have to climb several flights 
of stairs, as the assayer’s office was on the top 
floor. 

All this looked natural and plausible enough, 
and when they reached the top floor of the 


200 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

building, sure enough there they found a sign 
over one of the doors which read: “U. S. As- 
sayer’s Office.” 

Entering the office, a fine looking, intelli- 
gent appearing man (also another member of 
the gang), in shirt sleeves, no collar, and wear- 
ing a duck apron, came from another room and 
greeted them pleasantly. 

“Could we have a piece of metal tested?” 
asked the grafter. 

“To be sure,” said the assayer. 

“Can you positively tell whether or not it 
is gold?” was the next question. 

“Why not?” asked the assayer; “why should 
I be here if I were not able to tell that?” 

“Now,” said the grafter, producing the 
chunk of metal, “I wish you would first show 
us how you test metals, that we may have a 
thorough knowledge of how it is done, and 
then test this in our presence, and whatever 
your charges are we will pay.” 

“Very well,” said the assayer. “Now to give 
you a demonstration, I will produce three or 
four pieces of brass and copper, then a piece of 
gold that is of such low karat that it will not 
stand the test; after which I will test pieces of 
gold that will stand it.” And picking up a bot- 
201 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

tie of acid, said: “Here is some acid that noth- 
ing but pure gold can stand.” 

So saying he picked up a piece of brass, and 
placing a drop of the acid upon it let the two 
strangers see how quickly it began to boil and 
turn green, then trying a piece of copper with 
the same results he gave a piece of low karat 
gold a test, which also turned green. 

Now, picking up the chunk brought by the 
strangers he placed a drop of the acid on it 
without phasing it in the least, and said: 

“Now we have tested the outside, suppose 
we drill into it and see what there is on the in- 
side.” So saying he produced a small drill, 
and after drilling into the metal an inch or 
two, and filling up the hole with acid, which 
did not in the least afifect it, remarked: 

“Gentlemen, you needn’t worry about this; 
it’s all right.” 

“What is the value of that chunk?” asked 
the “High Mark.” 

“I can tell by putting the needles to it and 
weighing it,” said the assayer, and after doing 
so and placing it on the scales and figuring a 
moment, said: 

“That chunk of gold is worth a little over 
sixteen thousand dollars in cash.” 


20 2 



“That Chunk of Gold Is Worth a Little Over $16,000 in Cash.” 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


“How much do we owe you?” asked the 
farmer, excitedly. 

“Oh, about fifty cents/’ the accommodating 
assayer replied. “We never charge much for 
information.” 

Thanking him for his trouble and kindness, 
the “Grafter” and “Rummy” placed the gold 
bar (as the assayer had taught them to say) 
in the bag and started off. 

Both were delighted with their find and re- 
turned to the farmer’s home in high spirits, 
where they again buried the bold bar in the 
wheat bin. 

In the estimation of the grafter the most 
feasible way to dispose of the gold brick was 
for one of them to go alone to some large city 
and have the bar melted and made into several 
bars, and then dispose of them to different 
dealers, and hinted that he would be willing 
to do it. 

His idea was that two men together would 
be likely to create some suspicion, and ex- 
plained that to offer it for sale was different 
than calling upon an assayer for mere infor- 
mation. 

This suggestion was, of course, intended to 
204 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

make the farmer suspect that his partner was 
working a scheme to beat him out of his half 
of the gold. 

The following morning a telegraph messen- 
ger came to the farmer's house with a telegram 
for the grafter which read: 

“Mother very sick, given up to die. Come 
immediately. 

“(Signed) Mary." 

Half beside himself, the grafter showed the 
telegram to the farmer, and calling him to one 
side, said: 

“Now see here, I haven't the money to buy 
your half of the gold bar, and I haven't time to 
wait to have it melted and divided, so I'll tell 
you what I'll do. If you will give me seven 
thousand five hundred dollars you can have mv 
half." 

Naturally the farmer hesitated, if for no 
other reason than to get a better deal, where- 
upon the grafter showed him that by accept- 
ing his offer he would be getting five hundred 
dollars the best of the bargain. 

Finally the farmer said: 

“Well, I'll tell you what I'll do. If I can 
raise two thousand dollars more than I have 
205 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

on hand and in the bank, I’ll give you seven 
thousand dollars cash for your share.” 

“All right,” agrees the grafter, “so I’ll pack 
up my baggage and you take me to town and 
settle with me, and Til start for Massachu- 
setts on the first train for the east.” 

The cash was, of course, forthcoming, and 
would have been had the farmer been obliged 
to mortgage his farm. 

During the grafter’s stay with the farmer, 
as prearranged, the Indian had called at the 
farmer’s home every night with letters, which 
he had left at a given place, under the porch, 
and took from the same place, letters from the 
“High Mark” to be mailed to different mem- 
bers of the gang, thus keeping in perfect touch 
with each other from the first to the last day. 

When through with this interesting story I 
asked Charlie what average of failures they 
met with in such a wonderfully strong play. 

He said that something would turn up to 
spoil about one in every five or six jobs. 

When asked if he had lost all feeling of con- 
science, he declared that he believed he was as 
sympathetic and as tender hearted as any liv- 
ing man in all cases except in that of selling a 
gold brick, and when it came to that, realizing 
206 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


that he was dealing with a rich man, and one 
who was as avaricious as he was, he had no 
feeling for him whatever, and aside from the 
satisfaction of making a bunch of money, he 
delighted in seeing the greedy old wolf get 
bunkoed. 

“Now, Charlie,” said I, “suppose I should 
step into another room and call up the chief of 
police, or some detective agency, and turn you 
over to them, what would be the outcome?” 

“Well,” said he, “I haven’t given you the 
name of any one we have bunkoed, and as 
none of the ‘Rummys’ have kicked or made 
any kind of squeal, what could they do to me? 
Fd simply say that I had lied to you, and that 
would end it.” 

A small piece had been taken out of the brass 
or copper brick, and a sufficiently large piece 
of gold inserted upon which to enable the sup- 
posed assayer to place his acid for the test. 

Of course, with the exception of this small 
piece of pure gold, the whole brick was of 
nothing more or less than brass or copper. 

It will be remembered that the Indian, in- 
stead of burying the metal in the timbered lot 
where the men were hunting, had buried it 
207 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


on the opposite side of the fence, and on land 
owned by some one else besides the farmer. 

The idea was not to give the farmer a chance 
to claim the whole of the chunk of gold, on the 
ground that it was found upon his property. 


206 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


CHAPTER XV. 

A fifty-dollar premium given with a five-dollar 
subscription — Brought to a round turn — A 
short lecture and a promise to reform — An- 
other double cross — The hair-dresser’s graft 
— The German and his poor English — The 
English patron and her poor German. 

One morning, since beginning these grafter 
stories, and while busily writing, the maid an- 
nounced that a man, taking orders for a weekly 
magazine, was at the side door and wished to 
see the lady of the house. 

Before Mrs. Johnston had time to decline to 
see him, I said: “Show him in.” 

As I was in the library, and Mrs. Johnston in 
the sitting room, I got up and partially closed 
the slide door between us, and said: 

“You let him canvass you, while I listen and 
see what kind of a worker he is.” 

He made a proposition to send the magazine 
209 


TOLD IX THE SMOKER 

every week for a year for ten cents a week, 
fifty cents of which must be paid to him, cash 
in advance. 

After making a very rapid canvass on the 
magazine he produced a ITaviland china plate, 
and said: 

“As a special inducement to get subscribers 
we send as a premium, within three days from 
the time you subscribe, an eighty-eight piece 
set of this Limoges.” 

“How can your firm afford to send a fifty- 
dollar set of dishes with a five dollar and fifty 
cent subscription?’" 

To this question he had a ready answer, and 
explained that the publishers had received two 
hundred thousand dollars’ worth of advertising 
contracts and had indiscreetly given a sworn 
statement to the advertisers that the paper had 
a paid-up circulation of over three hundred and 
fifty thousand copies per week, whereas the 
facts were it only had a paid circulation of 
about two hundred and fifty thousand, and in 
order to increase its circulation rapidly and 
avoid exposure they were making this wonder- 
ful offer. 

“But,” said Mrs. Johnston, “what security 
have I for my money, or in other words, what 


210 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


evidence have I that the dishes, or even the 
magazine, will ever be delivered to me?” 

"Why,” said he, “I will give you a receipt 
for your fifty cents.” 

“Signed by whom?” asked Mrs. Johnston. 

“By me,” he replied. 

“But how do I know you are responsible?” 
was the next query. “Let me see your blank 
form of receipt.” 

On looking it over carefully, she said : 

“How does it happen that your publishing 
house name doesn’t appear on this receipt any- 
where? It seems very strange that you should 
be out collecting money for a large concern 
and giving your personal receipt for moneys 
paid in. How does this happen, and how would 
I know whom to address in case the dishes 
failed to arrive as you promise? Not even 
your home address is given here.” 

“But,” said he, “every one knows this firm.” 

“No; not every one,” said Mrs. Johnston. 
“I am a constant reader of magazines and 
newspapers, and yet I never heard of such a 
firm, and I dare say there are many others who 
are perfectly ignorant of its existence.” 

At this juncture I pushed open the library 
door and appeared on the scene. 


21 T 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


He was somewhat flustered and seemed a 
trifle nervous. 

After passing the time of day, I said : “Let’s 
see, what is your name?” 

“Mr. he replied. 

“And where is your home, Mr. ?” 

“Pittsburg,” he answered. 

“Well now, Mr. ,” said I, “you evi- 

dently have a pretty smooth little graft here, 
and I guess it’s all your own, too, isn’t it?” 

“It depends,” he coolly replied, “what you 
call a graft, sir.” 

“What I call a graft,” I answered, “is any- 
thing where a man resorts to trickery and de- 
ception to inveigle people into patronizing 
him, and then very likely gives them nothing 
for their money.” 

“But,” he argued, “how can this be a graft 
if we send them the magazine and in addition 
the dishes?” 

“If,” I put in, “but you don’t, and you know 
it; you have already admitted that the publish- 
ers of your magazine are perjurers, that they 
swore to a falsehood, and therefore committed 
a penitentiary offense in an effort to swindle 
advertisers.” 


212 



"Let’s See, What Is Your Name?” 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


At this he began to “hedge” a little, and 
after clearing his throat a moment, said: 

“Well, I didn’t mean that they had sworn to 
it. I meant that they had merely made false 
statements.” 

“Young man,” said I, “I am just at present 
engaged in writing a story for a Chicago pub- 
lishing house, entitled 'Grafters I Have Met,’ 
therefore you can imagine that I have met a 
few in my day, and perhaps you would like to 
contribute a chapter to my story. Anyhow, if 
you don’t object, I’ll write it up, because I 
think the public should be enlightened on 
these innocent little fifty cent grafts. And 
now,” said I, “let’s get down to business and 
dissect this proposition of yours, and see what 
it really looks like.” 

So saying I began firing questions at him 
and demanding prompt replies, and when, in 
a few moments I said, “young man, you come 
right out flat-footed and make a clean breast 
of it by acknowledging that this is a graft of 
your own, and that no publishers are interested 
in it, or I shall instantly phone for the police 
patrol and have you locked up.” 

He became so confused that he got badly 
214 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


mixed in his conversation and was talking at 
random when I interrupted with: 

“How long have you been in this business 
and what were you previously engaged in?” 

Seemingly coming to his senses, he said: 

“This is my first town in this work.” 

“You mean this 'graft/ ” I put in. 

“Well, yes, 'graft/ ” he continued, "and it 
has been paying so well that I have simply 
nerved myself and have stuck to it, although I 
am in constant fear of getting into trouble.” 

He had confined his canvassing to both the 
middle and better class of citizens, and had 
experienced no trouble in finding plenty of 
victims among them. 

All were anxious to get fifty dollars worth 
of dishes for five dollars and fifty cents, with 
fifty cents cash down, and ten cents per week, 
for the balance. 

As an inducement for the full amount of the 
subscription in advance, he would deduct 
twenty cents, and had frequently made the 
full collection in advance. 

By this time he had quieted down and be- 
come confidential, and was ready to "throw 
down the bars” and tell all he knew. 

He had been in college for some time, and 

215 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


being extremely anxious to go through, pos- 
sessing no funds, and having no income or 
resources, he set to work to hit upon some- 
thing by which he could make money rapidly, 
and had thought out this scheme. 

He said that it didn’t matter what magazine 
he introduced, one was as good as another, 
that the “suckers” bit on the china proposi- 
tion, swallowed hook, bait, cork and line. 

He declared that Mrs. Johnston was the first 
person in this city to critically investigate his 
proposition, and suggested that she, too, would 
probably have passed it by had I not been en- 
gaged in writing up graft stories. 

When I asked him what he proposed to 
make of himself after getting an education, he 
said that his preference would be civil en- 
gineering, and in a half sheepish way, smiling- 
ly remarked that his sister was very anxious 
that he should be a preacher. 

When he had finished his story, I said: 

“Young man, as a law abiding citizen of the 
city of Cleveland, I ought to have you placed 
under arrest, and your case given publicity in 
every paper in the city. 

“However,” I continued, “inasmuch as you 
are a young man and just starting out in this 
216 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

infamous work, I am doubtful about that being 
the proper course to pursue, especially if you 
are in any way inclined to drop this graft and 
engage in something legitimate.” 

I then pointed out to him the many in- 
stances of men who had engaged in different 
grafts, all of whom had come to a bad ending, 
and suggested several different kinds of busi- 
ness that a man of his caliber could engage in 
and make more money, twice over, in the end, 
than he would ever make with any sort of graft 
scheme, and too, would always be able to look 
the world squarely in the face and have no 
troubled sleeps at night. 

He listened attentively to my little lecture, 
and said: 

“I believe every word you have told me, and 
I promise you right now never to solicit an- 
other subscription for this thieving business, 
and to prove to you that I shall leave here to- 
night for Pittsburg, where I have a good 
mother and sister living, I shall write you a 
postal card from there tomorrow if you wiff 
give me your name and address (which be 
did), and also promise to consider and possi 
bly adopt as a business some of the several 
suggestions I had offered. 

217 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


* * * * * * * 

Years ago a man in a small country town in 
Michigan began extensively advertising to 
give away absolutely free to any person, for 
the mere asking, the formula for making one 
of the greatest remedies known to science for 
curing a dozen or more chronic diseases. 

Of course anything that is free always 
catches the people, and letters came pouring 
in from all quarters. 

The inexperienced, unsophisticated man 
could not imagine that the very advertisement 
which he himself had read, offering the form- 
ula, had cost the man who made the offers 
hundreds of dollars for a single insertion in 
that particular paper. 

Any reasonable minded man who ever stops 
to think for one moment, would at once ask 
himself how such a very large advertisement 
could be paid for by a man who had absolute • 
Iv nothing to sell, and was only interested in 
giving away to the dear public, positively free, 
something of inestimable value. 

But, as it costs nothing, why not send for it? 
argued those whose afflictions came under the 
category of diseases mentioned in the adver- 
tisement. 


218 


TOLD IX THE SMOKER 


Every letter was properly answered, and 
highly valued by this grafter, and carefully 
filed away for future reference, and use. 

In a few weeks, after the first lot of letters 
had been answered, he began receiving letters 
from almost every person to whom he had sent 
the formula, complaining that there was one 
ingredient in the prescription which none of 
their druggists could fill, or knew anything 
about, and would he please advise them what 
to do, as they were very anxious to go ahead 
and give the remedy a trial. 

In reply to these letters, he would explain 
that he was aware that there was one ingredb 
ent that was very rare, and hard to get, as it 
had to be imported from South America, and. 
while advising them to try one or two more 
druggists and expressing surprise that at 
least some of them didn't carry it, would wind 
up his letter by casually remarking that a 

druggist in the town of , Michigan, had 

kept it on hand for years, at which place it 
could be found, if nowhere else. 

Of course, he was too shrewd a man to state 
what its cost would be, or to indicate in any 
way the slightest interest in the matter. 

Within a few weeks our grafter’s accom- 
219 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


pfice in the Michigan town began receiving 
letters galore, asking if he could supply the in- 
gredient, and if so, what would be the cost. 

As the grafter kept on advertising, not in 
one, but in several different periodicals, year 
in and year out, and “suckers” kept biting, it 
was not long until his silent partner in the 
other town was sending out the rare ingredi- 
ents in packages, not by the hundred, but by 
the thousand, every day of the week. 

While it appears that no laws on the statute 
books could reach his case, yet it seems that 
one should be made to apply to this particular 
phase of robbing the public. 

The last visit I made to this town a few 
years ago, these grafters were still raking in 
the cash, and I have frequently seen their ad. 
in different papers since. Moral: — Don’t be 
foolish enough to expect something for noth- 
ing. 

Among my acquaintances is a government 
official, who, in company with his wife, travels 
all over the United States. 

A short time ago, this couple made me a call, 
and when told of the subject upon which I was 
writing, he said to his wife: “You had better 
220 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


relate to Mr. Johnson your experience with 
the German hair dresser in New York not long 
since,” which she did. 

Upon calling at the hairdressing establish- 
ment, she was immediately ushered into a 
booth and placed in the hands of a German, 
whose wretched English she could not under- 
stand, nor could she make him comprehend a 
word she uttered. 

While washing and cleaning her hair, he 
kept chattering in broken English and Ger- 
man, apparently making this suggestion and 
that, and working all the while like a trooper. 

She explained to him, or tried to, right in 
the beginning that all she wanted was a sham- 
poo and a plain, ordinary hair-dressing. 

All he attempted to do or say in reply was: 
“Oh, Yah, yah; ich versteh.” And then kept 
jabbering away in his mixed German and Eng- 
lish. 

After having finished the shampoo, he 
turned on the electric fan, which was a nec- 
essary adjunct for drying the hair, and at the 
same time for getting it tangled in such a man- 
ner that it would be necessary to drag out a 
fair portion of it when straightening it out. 

He then began combing it, when she at once 


221 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

observed that, unlike any other hair dressers 
she had ever patronized, he was combing it in 
such a manner that each time he pulled the 
comb through her hair, he managed to add a 
few more tangles, until at last he was raking 
out her hair by the combful. 

When she protested, he said: 

“Oh, yah, yah; das ist alle recht.” 

And kept on raking it out, and piling it in 
a bunch on the stand in front of her. 

When later on she pointed to the hair on the 
stand and again protested, he purposely mis- 
understood her and, pretending to think that 
she referred to the quality of the hair, said: 

“Das ist schon ; yah, sehr schon.” 

Then kept right on with his digging, raking 
and piling up of loose hair. 

Finally, at the proper, time (despite the fact 
that she had endeavored to explain that all 
she wanted was a plain hair dressing, together 
with a shampoo, to cost possibly seventy-five 
cents), he proceeded to give her a marcelline 
wave (whatever that is), and a German hair- 
dressing, with tonics and other extras. 

All this time she was protesting, and while 
doing so, he would invariably blandly smile, 
and say: 


222 



"Oh, Yah, Vgh, 


Das 1st A!!s Recht.” 



TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

“Yah, yah, das ist alle recht.” 

Upon completing the job, he was able to 
write, in very good English, and presented a 
bill for five dollars and fifty cents. 

Of course she was indignant and highly in- 
censed, and made no effort to conceal her dis- 
pleasure at such outrageous treatment, where- 
upon the German, as if still misunderstanding 
her, rubbed his hands with enthusiasm, and, 
with a broad smile, said: 

“Es ist sehr gut; es ist reizend.” 

When ready to leave the booth, she again 
noticed the bunch of hair lying on the stand, 
and, seized with the notion that robbing her 
of a portion of her hair was another phase of 
the graft, she instantly picked up the entire 
bunch and, placing it in her hand satchel, re- 
marked: 

“You have robbed me, and you shall not 
manufacture any switches or portions of them 
from my hair.” 

In his disappointment, the hair dresser for- 
got himself and protested vigorously, in as 
good English as one would care to hear. 


224 


TOLD IN Trifi SMOKER 


CHAPTER XVI. 

Farmers made sub-agents — Forks delivered to 
sub-agents as a consideration — A good 
“mixer” and money spender — Victims easy 
to get — The combination note and contract 
— How it was constructed. 

When I was twenty years of age, and while 
engaged in the fire insurance business at 
Clyde, Ohio, there one day came to the place 
a handsome, well dressed, young man, about 
twenty-three years of age, and put up at the 
Nichols House, where I was also stopping. 

He was establishing agencies among the 
farmers for the sale of a horse hay fork, to be 
used in the unloading of hay from the wagon 
to the mow or stack, as the case may be, with 
a horse instead of by pitch forks. 

His method was, as he took pains to explain, 
the appointing of farmers as his sub-agents, 
and sell them a dozen of the forks outright, 
for which, if necessary, he would take their 
notes, payable six months from date. 

He spent three or four days reconnoitering 
225 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


before visiting the farmers, but when he at last 
started out, he did a lively business. 

In order to make his territory last the long- 
er, he allotted usually one, never more than 
two townships to each agent. 

He traveled with the finest carriage and pair 
of horses which he could procure in the town, 
and for several days in succession reported 
the appointment of one agent a day, with the 
sale to each one of one dozen of the hay forks. 

He had plenty of money, was thoroughly 
up to date, very sociable, and a good “mixer/* 

Very shortly, all the boys in town were his 
friends, and in no time many of them were re- 
gretting having introduced him into their set 
of girls, as his curly locks and winning wavs 
were capturing them right and left. 

How he could find so many farmers, all 
eager to buy a dozen forks, and give their 
notes with interest was a problem hard to 
solve. 

However, he seemed to have no trouble in 
doing so. 

When he had procured about fifty or sixty 
notes, all due on the same date, he began ne- 
gotiating with the different money loaners and 
note-shavers in town, and after disposing of 
226 



'TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


about eight or ten thousand dollars worth, sud- 
denly left town, and no doubt located for a few 
weeks in some other section. 

As soon as each farmer was notified that his 
note for one hundred and eighty dollars, and 
interest, was at the bank for collection, a vig- 
orous protest was raised all over the county. 

In every instance the dupes declared that 
they had simply signed a contract, acknowl- 
edging the delivery of one dozen forks by the 
agent, and agreeing to pay him ninety dol- 
lars on December ist, provided they had suc- 
ceeded in selling one hundred and eighty dol- 
lars worth of Horse Hay Forks before that 
date; otherwise they were to pay nothing and 
the contract would be null and void. 

Of course, none of them could deny their 
own signature, nor would they attempt to, and 
when they were confronted with a plain prom- 
issory note for one hundred and eighty dol- 
lars, drawing seven per cent interest, and, too, 
with a clause, acknowledging the delivery to 
them, of one dozen forks, as the consideration, 
they could simply do nothing but pay the note 
and take their medicine. 

The manner in which the notes were drawn 
and their clean cut appearance caused those 
228 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


who purchased them from the grafter to sus- 
pect nothing irregular about them, and as he 
had formed many acquaintances in town, and 
it having been generally known that he was 
delivering his hay forks to his farmer agents in 
dozen lots, there was no inquiries made, and 
no hesitating whatever among the purchasers 
in taking them, at a fair discount, with the 
seven per cent interest added. 

The following summer I made a trip into 
Wood County, Ohio, and called upon a farmer 
relative, whose home was at a small town 
called Freeport, and whose farm of several 
acres was very near the place. 

The day following my arrival there my rel- 
ative and I made a visit to Bowling Green, the 
county seat, and while there I encountered our 
Horse Hay Fork man and made up my mind 
that, if possible to do so, I would find out what 
his real graft was. 

Therefore, I never intimated for a moment 
that any of his victims in Sandusky County 
had been complaining, but assuming that I 
believed in him and his hay forks, I gave him 
the name of my relative at Freeport, and as- 
sured him that he was not only perfectly re- 
sponsible financially, but was of a speculative 
229 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


turn of mind, and would be quite likely to take 
the agency for his forks. 

He asked particularly as to whether or not 
I intended remaining with my uncle for any 
length of time, and when told that I did not 
he agreed to go over to Freeport in a day or 
two and interview him and requested me to 
speak a good word for him. 

On our way back to Freeport that evening 
I explained matters to my uncle about how 
this grafter’s victims back home had been dis- 
appointed and then told him that I had given 
his name to the grafter, as an ‘'easy mark,” and 
asked him to help me out in getting on the in- 
side of his scheme. 

He promised to do so in case the fellow 
called upon him, whereas I advised him to 
easily fall in with the idea and to watch care- 
fully every phase of the scheme and after a cer- 
tain amount of persuasion, conclude to take the 
agency. 

He was to let the grafter go ahead and make 
out the contract and, after carelessly reading 
it over, to sign his name to it, wherever the 
grafter asked him to, and then, after having 
done so, hesitate for a moment, and once more 
230 



“Before I Sign This Document I Want to Have My Lawyer 

Look It Over.” 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


reading it, and folding it and putting it in his 
pocket, remark: 

“Before I sign this document, I want to 
have my lawyer look it over.” So saying, he 
was to excuse himself and start up town, as if 
in search of his attorney. 

The next morning I went farther west in 
the county, promising to return in a week or 
ten days, when I hoped he would be in posses- 
sion of what I wanted. 

On my return, ten days later, my uncle had 
a very interesting story to relate of the graft- 
er’s smooth methods, and also of his escape, 
when he started to interview his lawyer. 

He also had in his possession the contract, 
just as it had been handed to him and as he 
had signed it, with one of his near neighbor’s 
names attached as a witness. 

The grafter’s strong talk was, that the sub- 
agent, appointed by him, took no responsibil- 
ity whatever. 

He, as general agent, had invested his own 
money in the forks and would leave them on 
sale with the agent. 

When the farmer had sold twelve forks at 
hfteen dollars each he was to retain one-half 
of the amount as his commission which would 

3 $2 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


be ninety dollars and then pay the other nine- 
ty in on his contract. 

Of course, it would naturally follow that if 
he didn’t sell the forks he had nothing to pay. 

The contract, as my uncle had signed it, 
was indeed a novelty in itself. 

The man who arranged it must have spent 
considerable time and thought in doing so. 

However, its poor construction and bad 
English would have at once attracted the at- 
tention of a close observer. 

It was so ingeniously constructed, as to 
make it a combination promissory note and 
contract, and which, when read by the un- 
wary farmer, had the appearance of being a 
safe document to sign, and one that covered 
in detail the very ground gone over by the 
general agent, who, when the farmer accepted 
the agency, would say: 

“Well, now, all I want is an agreement from 
you to pay me ninety dollars, provided you 
sell one hundred and eighty dollars worth, 
and your acknowledgment of the receipt of 
the dozen forks, as a consideration and which 
I will now leave with you. 

Then producing a contract, which, when a 
portion of one end of it was cut off, would 
2 33 



TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


leave a promissory note for one hundred and 
eighty dollars, with interest at seven per cent, 
together with an acknowledgment that one 
dozen hay forks had been delivered to him as 
a consideration, he would ask the farmer to 
sign it in a particular place, and then secure 
the name of some one as a witness. 

An exact copy of the form and construction 
of the note is herewith given, from the original, 
which, although badly worn and defaced, I 
still have in my possession and shall always 
keep as a novelty. 


*35 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


CHAPTER XVII. 

The silent man and his reticent wife — Travel- 
ing with a gorgeous turn-out — Two mysteri- 
ous arrivals— Canvassers employed on sal- 
ary — Their methods — How orders were 
taken — How deliveries were made — Landed 
for twenty-four thousand dollars. 

In 1874, while I was stopping at a small 
town in Michigan, there came to the town a 
man weighing not less than two hundred and 
sixty pounds, accompanied by his wife and 
young son, and traveling in a splendid car- 
riage, with a handsome pair of horses. 

They took quarters at the hotel, and re- 
mained there for several weeks. 

During the whole time he was there I never 
saw him speak a dozen words to anyone, 
although he frequented the hotel office almost 
constantly. 

He smoked none but the very choicest 
cigars, and several of them a day. 

Should the landlord or any of the guests of 
236 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


the house happen to address him they would 
be rewarded by a mere grunt or monosyllable 
as a reply, and his wife was equally as reticent. 

Whether he was a grand duke in disguise, 
a horse thief or a bank robber, no one was able 
to guess. 

However, he kept on staying, and the towns- 
people kept on guessing, until at last he wound 
up his stay there by beating two substantial 
farmers of the county out of their farms and 
over two thousand dollars in cash, when, to- 
gether with his family, he immediately disap- 
peared. 

As before stated he had simply sat around 
the hotel office smoking good cigars without 
ever speaking, unless first spoken to, and then 
replying with a monosyllable. 

Every afternoon his handsome team and 
carriage were brought to the hotel entrance 
and he and his family would take a long ride 
into the country. 

After the thing was all over the landlord 
and others recalled that after the silent man 
had been there just a week there began calling 
at the hotel every Saturday evening two strap- 
ping big men, who remained over Sunday and 
left early Monday morning. 

237 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


Each carried with him what they called a 
patent clothes pounder and cleanser, and came 
and went on foot with their trousers tucked 
into their rubber boot tops, farmer style. 

They had very little to say to any one, but 
the landlady remembered that they and the 
big man often met on Sundays in the latter’s 
room, and seemed to be on friendly terms. 

The story told, of how they carried on their 
graft, was as follows: 

The two men with the patent clothes 
pounders were canvassers and were working 
on a straight salary for the “Main Grafter,” 
as we will call him. 

To carry out a prearranged plan to dupe two 
certain farmers, two men, who were brothers- 
in-law (having married sisters), were selected. 

One of them owned one hundred acres of 
farm land with a new house and barn, and the 
other one hundred and twenty acres of as fine 
farm land as there was in the county, upon 
which was a comfortable house and barn. 

One lived west and the other east. 

One of the old grafter’s canvassers managed 
to arrange with one of these farmers for board 
while the other canvasser arranged to make 
his headquarters with the other farmer. 

238 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


Once settled, one of them negotiated with 
the farmer with whom he was stopping for the 
services of his son and a horse and buggy with 
which to canvass, while the other one arranged 
with the son of a near neighbor of the farmer 
which whom he stopped to take him about the 
country. 

The patent clothes pounder and cleanser (if 
it was patented at all), was made entirely of 
wood. 

It was made exactly the same as the old- 
fashioned clothes pounder of our grandmoth- 
ers’ days, shaped hoop-skirt fashion from the 
bottom of the handle to the end of the 
pounder. 

In the center of the lower part a good sized 
hole was chiseled out, extending upwards 
about eight inches where small counter holes 
were bored, intersecting the large one, so that 
when the clothes were being pounded the hot 
water suds would be forced, suction-like, up 
into the pounder and pass out through the side 
holes, thus, as they claimed, separating the 
dirt from the clothing and leaving it perfectly 
clean, and all by the one process of pounding 
instead of the old way of first pounding and 
then scrubbing. 


239 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


It mattered little, however, whether or not 
the pounder did its work satisfactorily when 
considering their methods. 

When calling at the home of a farmer the 
canvasser would instruct the young man ac- 
companying him to remain in the buggy and 
hold the horse while he went in and made the 
canvass. 

In no time he would open the front door, 
and while standing in the doorway with order 
book in hand, and still talking to the farmer 
or his wife, would say in a loud voice, “Well, 
I am very much obliged to you, and I am sure 
that you will find our washer the finest thing 
you ever used.” 

Returning to the buggy he would tell the 
young man how easy it was to procure that 
order, and thus they would continue all day, 
taking orders at every house, scarcely ever 
missing a single one. 

On returning home that evening the young 
man would have a great deal to say about how 
the farmers took to the clothes pounder, and 
what a fine money making business it was. 

The canvasser had taken pains to explain 
that it sold for five dollars and cost about 


240 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


thirty-five cents each to manufacture, thus 
affording an immense margin. 

The following day the orders kept rolling in, 
scarcely a house being passed without one. 

No matter how far away from home they 
were, they would make it a point to return that 
night, when glowing accounts were given of 
the day's work. 

Finally the canvasser in the west part of the 
county one night at supper happened to men- 
tion that his firm had another agent over in 
the east part of the county who was stopping 
with Mr. . 

“Indeed!” said the farmer, why that man is 
my brother-in-law; his wife and my wife here 
are sisters.” 

The following Saturday evening each can- 
vasser announced to the farmers that they 
were going to the county seat to remain over 
Sunday to report to their employer, and would 
return Monday morning. 

Knowing that the brothers-in-law and their 
families met at the homes of their wives' par- 
ents nearly every Sunday, the canvassers had 
it figured out that they would probably meet 
on Sunday and have a chance to talk over the 
wonderful success of the clothes pounder men, 
241 


TOLD I\ T THE SMOKER 


In this they were correct, and on returning 
for business Monday morning each observed 
that their respective farmers were much in- 
terested, and were making inquiries as to the 
price of county rights. 

Each canvasser, of course, assumed to know 
but little about that, but in an unconcerned 

way referred them to Mr. , at the 

House, in the county seat, who 

owned the state of Ohio in the patent, and who 
would give them all necessary information. 

The fact that each farmer had become in- 
terested and had so intimated to the canvas- 
sers, gave them an opening to freely express 
their ideas of what a fine money making busi- 
ness it was, and to further demonstrate the 
feasibility of the thing, they announced that 
two hundred of the clothes pounders were at 
the freight depot in the town, and as each can- 
vasser had about a hundred orders to fill, they 
arranged with the farmers to drive to town, 
with them, with their horses and wagon, to 
get the pounders, after which the farmer’s son 
or a representative, should accompany then 
and drive the team while they made the de 
liveries. 

This they agreed to, and after a day or two 
242 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


spent in canvassing, the canvassers and drivers 
started out to make deliveries. 

At each house the young man was instruct- 
ed to remain in the wagon and hold the team 
while the delivery was made. 

And in each instance the grafter, when open- 
ing the door, after delivering a pounder, would 
open his book and mark a cross next to the 
name of the party to whom delivery was made, 
and just before bidding them good-bye would 
say in a voice, perfectly audible to the boy in 
the wagon: “Well, I hope you will be pleased 
with our cleanser. Good-bye. ,, 

So saying he would return to the wagon, 
and after starting on would take a five dollar 
bill from one of his vest pockets, and taking 
several other bills from his trousers pocket, 
would lay it away with the pile, and return it 
to his pocket saying as he did so: “Easy 
money, easy money. ,, 

At the end of each day's delivery they would 
return to the farmer's home for more pounders 
and to remain over night, and that evening the 
cash was counted on the table in the presence 
of the family, and now the agents themselves 
had become very enthusiastic. 

They talked almost incessantly of the fort- 

243 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


une that they could make if they only owned 
the state of Michigan in the patent, and when 
the farmers talked about it the agents would 
say: “If you can buy this territory or 
any territory in the invention you can 
make more money in one year with it 
than you can make in ten years at 
farming, and then would suggest that if the 
farmer would buy it, he, the agent, would like 
to work for him on commission, as he didn't 
like his present employer personally, although 
he was a straightforward, honorable man. 

As soon as each of the agents had delivered 
their hundred pounders they took particular 
pains to count out their money the night be- 
fore they were to report to their employer, 
and were careful to lay it out on the table in 
hundred dollar piles, thus exposing over five 
hundred dollars as prima facie evidence that 
the goods had been delivered and the money 
collected. 

By this time the two brothers-in-law were 
ripe for a trade. They were anxious to go into 
partnership and secure the patents for the 
whole state. 

Both were enamored with what appeared to 
them as being a “dream of business.” 

244 



r 



TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

It had been demonstrated before their very 
face and eyes that no faster selling invention 
could possibly exist. One of their sons, and 
the son of the other’s neighbor, whose integ- 
rity could be relied upon, had been right along 
with the agents and had seen the orders taken, 
the deliveries made and the cash collected; 
what more could they ask. 

At last the farmers met the main grafter at 
the hotel, and in no time he had bargained 
with them to let them have the entire state 
for twenty-four thousand dollars, and sat 
down and figured it out to their entire satisfac- 
tion, how they could have their money all 
back and money in the bank, inside of a year if 
they would only adopt plans which he laid out 
to push it. 

He would take their farms at one hundred 
dollars per acre, therefore, to close the deal. 
The one who owned the farm of one hundred 
and twenty acres could pay his half with his 
farm, whereas the one who owned but one 
hundred acres would be obliged to raise two 
thousand dollars for which he proposed to give 
his individual note, and which the old grafter 
coolly refused. 

Determined to make the deal, however, the 

246 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


farmers arranged for the cash through his 
wife's father, who mortgaged his farm to se- 
cure it. 

These farmers, proud of their purchase, and 
apparently under the impression that all their 
neighbors and friends envied them their good 
luck, immediately advertised a public auction 
of all their farm implements, stock, etc., and 
announced that they would move to town, and 
at once begin operations with their patents. 

This plan they carried out, after which they 
themselves started out with the clothes 
pounder as an experiment before hiring 
agents, as the man had done with whom they 
dealt. 

Their idea was to begin about where these 
grafters had left off, and with the neighbor's 
son and the son of the one farmer, who had 
been drivers for the canvassers, they made 
their first start. 

In no time they discovered that when they 
offered their simple, foolish looking piece of 
wood, with a few holes bored in it for five dol- 
lars, the farmers and their wives would fairly 
hoot at them. 

It took less than two days to convince them 
247 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


that they had been literally swindled out of 
their farms and cash. 

But why it was that those men should be 
able to sell to every house, scarcely ever miss- 
ing one, and, too, having made the deliveries 
and received the cash, was puzzling to them. 

On the evening of the second day out, having 
met in a small town as previously arranged, 
no more broken hearted men could possibly be 
imagined than these two poor, unsophisticated 
dupes, neither of whom had had the slightest 
prospect of obtaining an order. 

Before giving it up they tenaciously deter- 
mined to each try one more day, and meet the 
following evening at this same town. 

The following day one of them found that 
he was in close proximity to the neighborhood 
where the driver claimed the other man that 
he was out with had sold a clothes pounder at 
every house. 

“Well,” said the discouraged invester, “let’s 
go over there and see how these people like 
the pounders, and find out how these agents 
managed to sell them so fast.” 

When they called at the first house where 
one of the pounders had been delivered, upon 
inquiring how they liked it, the woman said: 

248 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


"Oh, pshaw! it’s no good! I am going to 
give it back to him when he comes around col- 
lecting.” 

“When he conies around collecting ?” asked 
the boy in amazement. “Didn’t he collect 
when he delivered it?” 

“Why of course not,” she answered, “why 
should he? When he came around in the first 
place he took my order on condition that he 
was to leave the thing on thirty days’ trial, 
and at the end of that time he would be around 
again and either collect the five dollars or take 
back the clothes pounder. I don’t want the 
old thing, and wouldn’t accept it as a gift.” 

Continuing with their investigation they 
learned that not a single pounder had been 
sold; all had been left on trial. 

The main grafter had provided his agents 
with the cash, and after making the delivery 
at a house, the agent would get into the 
wagon, and putting the five dollar bill with his 
other money, would mark down in his book 
one more five dollar collection. 

The meeting in the small town that even- 
ing, when the one partner related to the other 
his experience and discoveries, can easily be 
imagined. 

249 





TOLD IN T HE SMOKER 


Of my knowledge of swindlers and grafters 
this particular one has always seemed about 
the most heartless and cold blooded of any. 

Unlike the ‘'gold brick” investment, these 
men had gone into it believing that they were 
engaging in a well paying, legitimate business, 
and to suddenly awaken to the fact that they 
were absolutely stranded and one of them in 
debt to the amount of two thousand dollars 
besides, was indeed hai t enough. 

The above graft being about the biggest on 
record, I will now relate what I believe to be 
the smallest. 

An Irishman with a bare three-cent piece in 
his pocket and in a strange western mining 
town, where whiskey was fifteen cents a drink, 
entered a saloon, and noticing a man standing 
up to the bar with a glass of liquor before him, 
approaching the latter, said: 

“I bet yez three cents I kin pass iverv dhrop 
of yez glass of whiskey into me stomach 
widout wun dhrop touchin’ me t’roat.” 

‘Til take that bet,” said the man. 

Reaching for the glass Pat gulped it down 
with a single swallow and said : 

“Begorra, yez wins de bet !” 

251 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


CHAPTER XVIII. 

The laundryman flooded with business — 
Swamped the first week — Ruination staring 
him in the face — The laundryman bewil- 
dered — A ready compromise at from twenty- 
five hundred to six thousand dollars — How 
it was accomplished. 

Less than two years ago a tall, thin, active 
man, of about forty years of age, entered my 
optical office and wanted to know if I was the 
Johnston who used to be in the jewelry busi- 
ness in Chicago. 

When informed that I was he introduced 
himself as a former restaurant man of that 
city whose place of business was only a block 
from where I was located. 

When asked how he came to quite the busi- 
ness and what he was then doing, he replied 
that he had quit to go into a scheme of his own 
and was making barrels of money. 

Suspecting that it was a graft I at once be- 
252 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


came very much interested in him and very 
quickly got the inside working of it, and found 
that it was a scheme indeed, as he termed it. 

He had just finished Cleveland and was very 
jubilant over the outcome. 

He would take in the large cities only, and 
calling upon some well-to-do laundryman, 
would ask him how he would like to have his 
business rapidly increased. 

Of course every business man who had the 
slightest ambition or enterprise, would in- 
stantly become interested in any such propo- 
sition, and admit that he would like it. 

“Well,” the grafter would say, “I have a 
plan by which your business can be increased 
so fast that it will surprise you.” 

‘ Then bringing from his pocket some blank 
contracts and a photo engraving of a very 
handsome jardiniere, made by a large pottery 
concern in southern Ohio, he would state his 
proposition, which was this: 

He would have his trained and experienced 
canvassers make house to house calls, making 
the people a proposition to deliver to their 
homes this beautiful jardiniere as a premium, 
absolutely free, in consideration of their sign- 
ing a contract to furnish the said laundry with 
253 



“I Have a Plan by Which Your Business Can Ee increased 

so Fast It Will Surprise You.” 



TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

twelve dollars worth of work at regular laun- 
dry prices. 

To compensate the promoter of the plan for 
his work, the laundryman must sign a con- 
tract and furnish a satisfactory bond agreeing 
to pay the promoter fifty cents each for every 
contract taken, payable on the day it was 
handed over to him, and to pay two dollars 
each for the jardinieres. 

This would make two and one-half dollars 
to be paid for each twelve dollar contract, 
which would be reasonable enough when con- 
sidering that possibly nine out of every ten 
new customers would continue indefinitely to 
patronize the laundry. 

Believing that he was entering into a busi- 
ness agreement by which all concerned would 
be benefited, the laundryman would gladly 
avail himself of a rare opportunity, and unhes- 
itatingly sign a contract, secured by a good 
bond, agreeing to pay fifty cents, spot cash, for 
every twelve dollar contract delivered to him, 
and also binding himself to order from the 
pottery concern promptly on the day follow- 
ing the delivery of the contract, one jardiniere 
for every contract taken, for which he must 
remit two dollars cash with every order. 

255 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


That the business was going to increase 
rapidly and consequently additional cash must 
necessarily follow the taking of these con- 
tracts, the whole proposition looked good. 

Having closed his contracts, and making 
sure that he had a good one, he would imme- 
diately wire for his ten experienced canvas- 
sers. 

By the time they arrived he would have the 
city laid out in sections and each man's terri- 
tory mapped out ready to begin at once. 

These canvassers were able to take from 
forty to sixty contracts a day, each. The man 
who couldn't average forty a day would not be 
kept, and it was always a sure thing that the 
gang would average fifty each per day. 

The proposition, as made by them, was of 
such an unusual character that nearly every 
housewife was only too eager to accept it. 

She had to have her work done by a laundry 
of some kind, anyhow, and as the prices were 
all the same why not make a change and secure 
the handsome premium. 

The day upon which the canvassers would 
begin the grafter would call up the laundry 
with whom he had made the contract and an- 
nounce that his men had started out, and that 
256 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


he would be at the laundry office at six o’clock 
that evening with their contracts. 

Imagine the surprise of the laundryman 
when the grafter called as agreed and laid 
down on his desk over five hundred contracts. 

“What! Five hundred contracts to-day?” 
he asked, as he thought of the two hundred 
and fifty dollars cash to be paid on them. 

“Why, certainly,” replied the grafter, “and 
its been a poor day at that.” 

“Am I to pay you two hundred and fifty 
dollars cash tonight for these?” 

“Of course, that’s the contract,” the grafter 
curtly answered, “besides,” he went on, “you 
are to order five hundred of the jardinieres to- 
morrow for premiums and enclose your check 
for them.” 

“Great Heavens! that will be a thousand 
dollars more,” shouted the laundryman. 

“Yes, that’s true; altogether twelve hun- 
dred and fifty dollars on today’s business,” 
said the grafter. 

“How many contracts do you expect to get 
tomorrow,” asked the laundryman, his face 
blanched, and nervousness depicted in every 
movement. 


257 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


“Well, anywhere from five to six hundred, 
and possibly more.” 

“Do you expect me,” shrieked the laundry- 
man, “to back up this scheme with twelve or 
fifteen hundred dollars per day?” 

“Why, of course, that’s the only way by 
which both you and I can make a pile of money 
out of it.” 

“How long will take to finish this city?” 
came the next anxious inquiry. 

“Oh, possibly three months, may be more.” 

“What ! three or four months and an average 
of five hundred contracts a day? Man alive; 
how can I take care of all that business? Great 
Caesar ! you’ve got me swamped the first day.” 

“Well, of course, that’s your look out,” came 
the grafter’s response, “your contract reads 
that I am to make a complete canvass of the 
town, and you are to pay me fifty cents, cash, 
for each contract and order and pay cash (two 
dollars), for each contractor’s jardiniere. I 
am here with my men and shall expect you to 
do as you agreed.” 

“But,” figured the laundryman, “just see 
what I have to contend with. It means that I 
have to pay you and the pottery concern seven 
thousand five hundred dollars the first week, 

258 





TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

and you will flood me with three thousand 
washings in the same length of time, and you 
can see that within three months I will have to 
pay you in cash eighty seven thousand, five 
hundred dollars, and I will have thirty-nine 
thousand more washing to do every week than 
I now have, provided they should all stick.” 

“Well,” the grafter would dryly ask, “how 
about your cash receipts every day and every 
week? These contractors have to pay their 
bills, and you will certainly get in an ocean of 
money from them.” 

“That isn’t it; the question is, how am I go- 
ing to take care of all this business with my 
present facilities?” insisted the laundryman. 

“Expand, expand,” was the grafter’s sug- 
gestion. 

“Indeed, I won’t have time to expand, be- 
sides I’ll be in the insane asylum before three 
weeks, to say nothing of three months, if this 
keeps up.” 

“I suppose you have lots of competition?” 
suggested the grafter. 

“Yes,” was the reply, “we have plenty of 
that.” 

“Well, we will put all the other laundries out 
of business inside of thirty days, and then all 
260 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

you will have to do is to buy their plants cheap 
and monopolize the business." 

“That's all right to talk about," replied the 
laundryman, but your methods would break 
up a dozen men like me in no time." 

“Well, now," anxiously inquired the laun- 
dryman, “what's going to be done? If you 
keep this up I'll be ruined, financially, inside 
of a week. I am not a millionaire and have 
worked hard to establish this little business, 
and there is no use in your going on with this 
work because I can't stand it." 

“But your bondsmen, they, are all right, are 
they not? Perhaps they will see the necessity 
of backing you in this enterprise." 

“No, I'll never ask them to do that," the 
laundryman would vow, “and you might as 
well let up, right away." 

“You understand Mr. ," the grafter 

would say to the laundryman, “that this con- 
tract is worth a lot of money to me," and in 
order to prove it to him he would show him in 
plain figures just how much it was worth. 

In doing so he would explain that the pot- 
tery concern allowed him a commission of 15 
per cent, or thirty cents for each jardiniere 
that the laundryman ordered. 

261 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


The grafter paid his canvassers twenty 
cents each for every contract secured, leaving 
him a profit of thirty cents on each contract, 
which, together with thirty cents more on each 
jardiniere, made him a profit of sixty cents on 
every contract taken, and five hundred a day 
meant to him a clear profit of three hundred 
dollars, or eighteen hundred dollars per week, 
as the canvassers paid their own board and all 
other expenses, except railroad fare. 

This, the grafter explained, was a revelation 
to the laundryman, who, by this time, began 
to realize the sort of game he was “up against/’ 
and instantly began to plead for a settlement. 

“How much are you willing to give to be re- 
leased?” the grafter would ask. 

“You tell me the least you will take, and let 
me out of this muss.” 

“Well,” the grafter would say, “you can 
figure, if it takes about three months to finish 
this city, that will mean about thirteen weeks 
of six working days each, which means seven- 
ty-eight days, and if my profits are three hun- 
dred dollars per day, you can see that my 
gross personal gain for that length of time will 
amount to thirty thousand and four hundred 
dollars cash.” 

262 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

By this time the grafter would have his vic- 
tim walking the floor and only too anxious to 
settle on the spot, and once more would ask 
for bottom figures. 

“Well, I’ll tell you what I’ll do, I’ll take six 
thousand dollars in cash and call the deal off.” 

This, the grafter explained, was always his 
compromise offer, and while he had on two dif- 
ferent occasions received that amount, he fig- 
ured on getting five thousand, and wouldn’t 
refuse half that amount if he couldn’t do bet- 
ter. 

After the grafter had finished his story, I 
remarked that I believed he could make the 
scheme a legitimate and well paying one by 
going into a large city and contracting with 
several different laundrymen to secure for 
each one from five to ten thousand contracts 
and keep up the business in a business way, or 
if he could find a laundry concern with a large 
enough plant and sufficient money to back the 
scheme, they could all make big money out of 
it. 

He laughed and said: “Yes; I know that is 
true, because I struck one concern, a stock 
company, who had several different laundries 
in the city, and money and nerve enough to 
263 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

carry it through and I made money very fast, 
as did the canvassers and the laundry firm 
also. But,” he added, as he was about to take 
his departure, “there was no excitement or fun 
in that, as it wasn’t grafting.” 

Before leaving my office I asked him to ex- 
plain how he could satisfy his canvassers who 
worked on a commission, and who after the 
first or possibly the second day’s canvass in a 
city would be out of work because of his com- 
promise with the laundryman. 

“Oh ! that’s easy,” said he. “While they are 
waiting for me to make another laundry con- 
tract in a new city, they are all out canvassing 
under the management of my brother for a 
clever little household article that goes like 
wild-fire, and which keeps them all busy, and 
as I guarantee each one a certain amount per 
week, and a good amount too, of course they 
are satisfied.” 


264 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


CHAPTER XIX. 

The “Top and Bottom” — How the writer was 
taken down the line — The Mexican slipper 
story — “Well, we meet again” — A fresh beer 
— The Southern stock dealer — How ten dol- 
lars were won and divided — How it ended. 
During the many years that I traveled over 
the country in various kinds of business, I 
often wondered if Tshould ever be approached 
by grafters or confidence men of any sort with 
a view to landing me. 

Eight years ago, while on a business trip to 
Toledo, Ohio, my time, at last, came. 

Having finished my business by noon of the 
day I arrived there, I took a stroll down Sum- 
mit street, and coming to a large dry goods 
store with an elegant display in the show win- 
dow, my attention was attracted to a very 
handsome silk dress pattern. 

Stepping up to the window in order to take 
a better look at it, and while cogitating in my 
mind whether or not I should buy it for 
265 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

wife, I was suddenly approached by a quick 
spoken man, who said: 

“That piece of silk certainly is a beauty, 
isn’t it?” 

Before I saw him or had time to turn my 
head in his direction, I said to myself, “at last, 
I am ‘up against’ the real thing for once in my 
life.” 

In the first place it instantly struck me that 
a man whose voice and manner of speech in- 
dicated intelligence, as his did, would not ap- 
proach a stranger on any such frivolous pre- 
text unless there was something back of it. 

Turning to him and taking my first glance 
at him, convinced me more than ever that I 
had struck a “cross roader,” and at once de- 
termined to let him take me the limit. 

He was a man, possibly fifty-five or sixty 
years of age, with silver gray hair and whis- 
kers, the latter cropped closely. 

He was well groomed and well dressed, 
wore a derby hat, patent leather shoes, no 
jewelry to speak of, and, in fact, had every 
appearance of being a well-to-do business 
man. 

In answer to his question, I said: 

266 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

“Yes, it is a beauty, and I think I shall go 
inside and buy it for my wife as a present/' 

“That's right," he answered in a jovial sort 
cf way, and slapping me on the shoulder said : 
“I like to see a man spend his money on his 
wife, and I'll go in with you and see how much 
it will cost you." 

This move settled it in my mind, and cer- 
tain I was that for once I would be taken down 
the line by a real old timer. 

After buying the dress pattern I started out 
with the package under niv arm remarking 
that I would take it to my hotel. 

“What hotel are you stopping at?" he asked, 
and when I told him, he said: 

“Well, I am going in that direction and will 
accompany you." 

“All right," I answered, “glad to have your 
company," and in our conversation I managed 
to show as much cordiality as he did. 

He immediately began telling me of a most 
delightful trip he and his wife had recently 
had through Mexico. 

One would have thought that he and I had 
been lifelong friends, so very interested were 
we i i each other. 

Just before we reached the street where I was 
267 



TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

to turn to go to my hotel he began telling me 
of three beautiful pairs of slippers he had 
bought from an old Mexican Indian who had 
made them by hand, and then expressed a de- 
sire to have me see them, and in fact would like 
to present me with one pair of them. 

“Where are they?” I inquired. 

“Just across the river at an old shoemaker’s 
shop. I took them over there yesterday to 
have soles put on them, as you understand, 
what I bought of the old Indian was just the 
uppers or the tops. Oh, but they are fine.” 

“Well,” said I, “I have got to go to my hotel, 
leave this bundle and write a letter or two, 
and I may see you later.” 

So saying I bade him good-bye, knowing full 
well that all I had to do was to go out upon 
the streets in a reasonable length of time to 
again encounter him. 

I wrote my letter, chatted with one or two 
acquaintances awhile, and remarked to one of 
them that I was going out now to be bunkoed 
by a “con man.” 

Saying this, I started out, and coming to 
Summit street turned and walked north for 
some distance, when suddenly I received a tap 
269 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

on the shoulder with the exclamation, “Well, 
we meet again/' 

“Sure enough," I laughed, and remarked 
that I was simply killing time until my train 
left for the east on the Lake Shore late in the 
evening. 

“Well now," said he, “if you have time sup- 
pose we go over on the east side where I left 
those slippers. I want you to have a pair of 
them. I can't use them all." 

“Very well," said I, “I'd like to see them." 

With this we started out, and when coming 
to the river there stood to the right a brick 
building with a saloon sign in front, and when 
even with the door he said, “Let's step in here 
and get a fresh glass of beer." 

“That will just suit me," I replied. 

When entering the place we stepped up to 
the bar and he called for two beers and laid 
down a ten dollar bill. 

That instant a tall angular man, with jet 
black hair and whiskers completely covering 
his face, and wearing a big slouch hat, arose 
from a card table and stepping up to the side 
of my newly made acquaintance, said: 

“Bah tendah, give me a drink of whiskey," 
and also laid down a ten dollar bill. 


270 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


Having set out the glass and bottle of 
whiskey, the bartender (who, of course, was 
in the play), said: 

“Gentlemen, I can't change both of these ten 
dollar bills.” 

My acquaintance said, “Well now, I wanted 
my bill changed, anyhow, so be sure and do it 
for me.” 

The big fellow, who had the southern dia- 
lect, said: “Now see yher, bah tendah, I must 
have ma bill changed, suah.” 

“Well,” insisted the bartender, “I can't 
change them both, that’s certain, so how will 
we fix it?” 

The southerner then said : “Heah, you gen- 
’lemen take a drink with me so I kin get the 
change, so sah, you put yuah money away.” 

“No, no,” insisted my acquaintance, “I shall 
do nothing of the kind, we can pay for our own 
drinks.” 

“Wal then,” said the southerner, I’ll tell you 
what I’ll do, I’ll shake you the dice to see who 
pays for the drinks.” 

“I’ll do that,” my new acquaintance replied, 
and as he shook the box and turned it over 
with the dice under it, he said to the south- 
“H1 bet you ten dollars that I can 
271 


erner : 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

guess nearer to the number of spots on top 
and bottom of the dice than you can.” 

“All right,” came the quick reply, and bring- 
ing out a big roll of bills murmured to himself: 
“Gosh! ’spect I’ll squander all the money I got 
for them cattle afore I get out of this blamed 
town.” 

When the money was put up my friend 
whispered to me, “You are in with this.” 

When the box was raised my acquaintance, 
of course, had won. 

The cattle dealer said: “By Gol! you win 
this time suah,” and excusing himself, said: 
“Jes’ wait till I get a seegar and I’ll try that 
agin.” 

He took plenty of time, during which my 
friend showed me that the fellow was a 
“greeny,” and didn’t understand that a man 
couldn’t throw over twenty-one top and bot- 
tom, and handing me the ten dollar bill said: 
“You take out five dollars, I know if I had 
lost you would have stood for half of it, so half 
of this is yours.” 

The moment they began their play, in the 
very beginning, I recognized their game as 
one of the very oldest, known as “Top and 
272 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

Bottom,” and one that I should probably 
never have thought of again. 

I also remembered that it was a game that 
had been played all over the west twenty-five 
years before by two men by the name of Stone- 
burner and Munson, and while I had never 
met either of these grafters, I had heard of 
them and their game almost everywhere. 

The “Three Card Monte” gang of whom I 
have written, and whom I met at Howard 
City, Mich., talked a great deal about these 
noted crooks, and one of them had explained 
to me their game which was played almost 
the same as the Monte game, about the only 
difference being that it was played by only 
two men, and always in a saloon. 

I took my friend’s ten dollars, and knowing 
full well that one particular reason he had for 
dividing with me was to see when I made the 
change about how much money I had with me. 
I took pains to show my roll, consisting of 
quite a bunch of money, and after running 
through the bills to find a five, I handed it to 
him and placed the ten with the rest, then 
carelessly shoved it into my pocket. 

When we had had plenty of time to fix up 
the money question, the cattle man had pur- 

273 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

chased and lighted his cigar, and returned to 
the bar. 

My friend said: “Do you want any more 
of this, stranger?” 

“Wal,” he replied, “Fd kin’ a like to win back 
that ten dollars, anyhow.” 

“Then,” said my friend, “we’ll again bet 
you that I can guess nearer than you can the 
number of spots on top and bottom.” So say- 
ing, he began shaking the box, and said: “My 
friend and I have plenty of time, and we’ll bet 
you once more.” 

Of course that remark, “plenty of time,” was 
a tip to the cattle man, as I quickly compre- 
hended, that the “sucker” had plenty of money 
and to offer to bet accordingly. 

After toying with the dice a moment and 
then placing them back in the box (and while 
doing so making a quick change, which I was 
supposed to know nothing about), gave them 
a shake and turning the box over, said: 

“How much do you want to bet now that 
you can guess them nearer than I can?” 

“Fll bet you anywhere from one to three 
hundred dollars,” replied the stranger, “that 
there are more than twenty-one.” 

Turning to me my friend whispered: “Do 
274 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

you remember, I showed you that it’s impossi- 
ble to turn more or less than twenty-one. How 
much shall we bet him ? Let’s bet him a couple 
of hundred? I’ll put up all I have.” 

At this point I began laughing very heartily, 
as though I had seen or heard something very 
funny, and kept on laughing, until at last I 
said: 

“This old game amuses me, and I have been 
wondering if you fellows would make your 
last 'joint’ for the money, the same as poor 
old Stoneburner used to 'joint’ when he and 
Munson worked top and bottom together 
twenty-five years ago.” 

Turning to my Mexican slipper friend with 
a look of disgust, the southern cattle dealer 
said: “Wal, you certainly have steered an 
'easy mark’ up against me this time, haven’t 
you?” And asked, “Did you know Stone- 
burner and Munson?” 

“Yes,” I replied, “and Kelley, and Burley, 
and Steward and Haynes, the three card 
monte gang, and while traveling as a street 
auctioneer, handling patent rights and various 
other enterprises, I have met nearly all of 
them.” 

The “steerer” then told me of how he had 
275 



“Well, You Certainly Have Steered an Easy Mark Up Against 
Me This Time/’ 





TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

spotted me as I came from my hotel, and as I 
was wearing a slouch hat, he sized me up for a 
western stock raiser, or dealer, or possibly a 
western doctor or lawyer, and as they had long 
since discovered that business and profes- 
sional men were more easily grafted and were 
more sure to have money than any other class 
of men, he had tackled me. 

When about ready to take my departure I 
said: “Well, men, I guess I can afford to buy 
the cigars,” then handing them each my busi- 
ness card, said: “Now, this is something I 
seldom ever mention, but a few years ago I 
wrote a book of my own personal experiences 
that Td like to have each of you read. The 
name of the book is ‘Twenty Years of 
Hus’ling.’ ” 

“Well I declare!” exclaimed my new friend, 
“I have that book at home and both myself and 
wife have read it.” 

As I bade them good-bye and thanked them 
for the delightful entertainment they had pro- 
vided for me that afternoon, and when shak- 
ing my friend’s hand, said : “I am sorry that 
we didn’t have time to get those Mexican slip- 
pers, as I should have liked a pair of them.” 

“By the way, Johnston, you are not going to 
277 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

give me the worst of it on that five dollars, are 
you?” he asked. 

“Well,” said I, “you know from reading the 
‘Hus’ler’ that I am always out for the 'coin/ 
and you will also remember that I never try to 
get it on anything but a straight business 
proposition, and when I once get it t spend it 
easily, but never give any of it back. Your 
proposition to give me five dollars was per- 
fectly agreeable to me, and for which I thank 
you most sincerely. So good-bye.” 

“Well,” replied the grafter, “I am glad that 
I met you anyhow, and I must dig out and 
hus’le in some one who will make good that 
five dollars I made you a present of.” 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


CHAPTER XX. 

“Counterfeit money” shall be read instead of 
“cigars” — Sends one-dollar bill and receives 
perfectly good two-dollar bill — Western man 
works “over issue” game — The victim. 

Aside from the many grafts mentioned in 
this volume, there are innumerable other 
schemes of a still lower order, such as the 
green goods proposition, wherein the man 
with dishonest tendencies is apt to be taken in 
by the receipt of an alluring letter, or a few 
circulars, purporting to come from a cigar 
dealer who is advertising imitation Havanas, 
in which it is plainly obvious that countrfeit 
money shall be read, instead of cigars, and 
which reads something as follows: 

“We make our brands in Ones, Twos, Fives 
and Tens, of stock that is green, and no law- 
yer, doctor, business man, or even a banker, 
279 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


though experienced smokers, could detect 
them from the genuine.” 

When the saloon keeper, grocer, or whom- 
soever he may be, concludes to invest and 
sends in a one dollar bill for a sample, he re- 
ceives a perfectly good two dollar bill in re- 
turn. 

This bill looks so good and passes so easily 
that he immediately sends twenty-five, or pos- 
sibly fifty dollars, expecting to receive twice 
the amount of his remittance in spurious 
money. 

In this, however, he is disappointed, as he 
either receives nothing, or possibly a small 
box, sent by express, which contains only saw- 
dust or brown paper. 

There are so many ways in which the green 
goods graft is worked that a detailed account 
of it would be impossible. Suffice it to say, 
however, that counterfeit money scarcely ever 
enters into the deal, and the dupes are seldom 
ever heard from, as they do not care to let even 
their most intimate friends know that they had 
endeavored to get into the game. 

For several years past, a Western man has 
been traveling in all sections of the United 
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States, successfully working the “over issue” 
graft. 

He takes in towns and cities of all sizes, both 
large and small, remaining from six to ten days 
in each place. 

His best victims are saloon keepers, propri- 
etors of second class hotels, liverymen, mar- 
ketmen, etc. 

On arriving at a town, he visits several sa- 
loons, and immediately begins spending money 
freely, making himself an all around good fel- 
low, his principal object being to get acquaint- 
ed with the proprietors of these places; then he 
calls at the different livery stables, and man- 
ages to meet the proprietors, and keeps a gen- 
eral lookout for men of the stamp and caliber 
best adapted to his purpose, preferring some 
man who is struggling against odds in a small 
business of some sort. 

After meeting several of these men, and 
managing to more or less ingratiate himself 
into their good will and confidence, he sets 
about to “turn a trick or two.” 

Watching his opportunity, he finds the pro- 
prietor of a saloon behind the counter some 
morning and, after giving him a cordial hand- 
shake, says: 

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TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


“Mr. , take something with me,” and 

should there be others present, an invitation 
is extended to all to join him. 

When paying the bill, he would hand out to 
the proprietor a bran new, crisp, five-dollar 
note. 

The bill is placed in the money drawer, and 
the necessary change given to the stranger, 
who, bringing a newspaper from his pocket, 
takes a chair and begins reading. 

As soon as he and the proprietor were left 
alone, he would ask the latter to give him back 
that new five-dollar bill, for which he would 
give him a five-dollar gold piece in return. 

This the saloon man consents to, but, be- 
fore handing back the crisp, new bill, scrutin- 
izes it closely, and his curiosity having been 
aroused, asks the stranger for an explana- 
tion. 

“Well,” the stranger would reply, “Iil tell 
you, if you will promise me to keep it strictly 
confidential. This money is all right, yet in 
a wav, it has to be handled carefully in order 
that the United States government officials in 
Washington, who issued it, shall not be de- 
tected.” 

He would then go on to explain that this 
282 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


money was not counterfeit, but was what is se- 
cretly known, among a few government offi- 
cials, as the “over issue,” of which more than 
five hundred million dollars, in five-dollar bills, 
had been run off during* the last government 
issue of this series. 

“The only way,” he would further explain, 
“by which detection could be made, would be 
the possibility of two bills of the same num- 
ber being brought together, and even in that 
case who could tell which was which ?” 

He would then tell his victim that these offi- 
cials, who were in the secret, were of the be- 
lief that the more money there was in circula- 
tion in the United States the better the times 
would be, and in order to get this “over issue” 
well circulated, this money was being distrib- 
uted at forty cents on the dollar to men who 
could be strictly relied upon, but under no cir- 
cumstances would they issue more than one 
thousand dollars' worth to any one man the 
first time, after which, if he proved to be loyal 
and shrewd enough not to give away the 
scheme, they would let him have any amount 
up to three thousand dollars at one time, and 
then not more often than three times a year. 

At this instant the grafter would take from 
283 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


his pocket a purse, in which he carried several 
five-dollar bills, just as they had come from 
the press, not yeffhaving been separated or de- 
tached from each other (sheets of which can 
be procured at almost any large bank), and 
asking the victim for a pair of scissors, would 
say: 

“Now, this is just as it comes from the press, 
and I am going to cut one of the bills off, and 
then I want you to take it, and you and I will 
go to your bank and ask the cashier to change 
it. 

“You can tell them you got it from me, if 
any trouble arises.” 

So saying, the grafter would clip off a five 
dollar bill, and handing it to the dupe, would 
say: 

“You may have this for two dollars; of 
course we never sell them in anything less than 
large quantities, except as an occasional sam- 
ple.” 

Arriving at the bank, the saloon man would 
ask for change, which would be handed out to 
him without a word, whereupon the grafter 
would burst out laughing and say: 

“Mr. Cashier, this gentleman seemed to 
284 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


have his doubts about the genuineness of that 
bill, because it was so new and crisp.” 

Taking another look at it, the cashier would 
remark that it was “good enough for him.” 

The saloon keeper, having made three dol- 
lars on the deal, would now become interested, 
and would likely ask many questions. 

The grafter would then ask him how much 
of it he could handle at the present time, and 
would state that one thousand dollars’ worth, 
for which four hundred dollars cash would 
have to be paid, would be as little as he would 
care to bother with, and would then explain 
that he couldn’t do anything anyhow under 
two or three days, when he would have the 
saloon man meet him at his room at the hotel, 
whereupon they would then separate, to meet 
later. 

This delay would give the saloon keeper 
time to raise the four hundred dollars, pro- 
vided he might be a little short, and would 
enable the grafter to lay the foundation for 
landing one or two others, all of which must 
be done the day upon which he was to leave 
town. 

At the proper time the grafter would call 
upon the saloon man and instruct him to call 
285 


/ 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

at his room at the hotel at a certain hour on 
the following clay, and bring with him forty 
ten dollar bills with which to purchase his por- 
tion of the “over issue," amounting to one 
thousand dollars. 

The next day, when the victim had called at 
the hotel, the grafter would ask if he had the 
forty ten dollars in cash as requested with 
which to do business; when assured that he 
iiad, the grafter would explain the situation 
by saying that he had an assistant who accom- 
panied him for the express purpose of looking 
after and carrying the money and who was 
stopping at another hotel, as he, the grafter, 
didn't care to take any chances, and should 
any of the men he had approached squeal on 
him and cause his arrest they would find no 
great amount of money on him, and finding- 
no other evidence against him, would be 
obliged to let him go. 

With this plausible explanation the grafter 
would say, “Now, what I want to be most cer- 
tain of is your loyalty and honesty in this deal. 
I don't ask you for a dollar of your money 
until you have received and counted the 
amount of your 'over issue/ and now to use 
every precaution so that no one will see us 
286 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


together any more than possible, and not to be 
seen counting or handling money, I have a 
plan, which I always adopt, by which our 
transaction can be carried out so that no one 
can possibly suspect us.” 

Then reaching to his trunk he would bring 
forth a large portfolio in which he carried his 
loose papers, several large blotting pads and a 
lot of stationery. 

Lying on top of this stationery were two 
pieces of cardboard, cut a trifle larger than a 
ten dollar bill. 

Picking these up, the grafter would say: 

“Now, I want you to count out in my pres- 
ence the forty ten dollar bills, which we will 
place between these two pieces of cardboard, 
after which I shall wind this piece of red cord 
around it, both side and endwise, and melting 
this piece of sealing wax, I shall place my per- 
sonal seal upon it directly over the knot, and 
then, after I have written my name and the 
amount enclosed upon it, you are to take it to 
your place of business and put it in your safe 
without ever cutting the string or disturbing 
the seal. 

“Within a aay or two I will secretly see my 
assistant, who will hand me a package con- 
287 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


taining one thousand dollars of 'over issue/ 
which I will take to you at your saloon, and 
handing it over to you, will ask you to place it 
in your safe for me until I call for it. This 
will give you a chance to take the package 
to your private apartments for examination, 
and to make sure that the full amount is there; 
then the next day, or possibly two days later, 
I will call and ask you for that package I left 
with you, whereupon you are to hand me this 
package intact, exactly as I prepare it. Of 
course,” the grafter would explain, "you can 
readily understand why it is necessary for me 
to use so much precaution. You see, I am 
dealing with strangers all the time, and while 
I have no reason to doubt your honesty, yet 
unless I should put this money up so I could 
actually see between the cardboards that it 
was still there and also that the seal had not 
been broken, how would I know but that you 
had taken out a part of it and only given me 
a portion of what was coming to me? The 
object of this plan of doing it is to expedite 
matters, and enable us to transact our busi- 
ness without causing the slightest suspicion.” 

So saying, the grafter would proceed to 
carry out this program and when, having com- 
288 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


pleted the tying and sealing, he reached for 
the pen and ink, and after writing his name 
upon it, opened up his portfolio and placing 
the package under one of several large blotting 
pads, pressed it hard upon the outside, as if 
to make a successful job of the blotting, then 
opening the portfolio and reaching for the 
package, brought it forth and after scrutiniz- 
ing it closely handed it to the dupe, saying: 

“Now all you have to do is to follow my 
instructions, then when I come again you can 
do more business with me, otherwise you can- 
not, so place this in your safe and within a 
day or two IT1 do the rest as agreed upon.” 

Thus saying, the grafter would make a 
movement as if it was time for the victim to 
depart, and would get rid of him as soon as 
possible. 

Before the uay was over the grafter would 
most likely “round up” two or possibly three 
other victims for whatever amounts he could 
get out of them, and forthwith take his depart- 
ure from the town. 

When the victims discovered that the 
stranger had disappeared, and when at last 
they decided to open their packages with a 
view to using the cash they would find, instead 
289 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


of the currency, forty sheets of brown paper, 
nicely cut, of exactly the size and thickness of 
a ten dollar bill. 

Before the grafter placed the package in his 
portfolio to blot the writing, he had placed just 
beneath it a perfect duplicate of it, upon which 
he had written his name and which he had 
tied and sealed the same as he fixed up the 
package containing the cash. 

When he reached for the package after blot- 
ting it, he simply brought forth the fake one 
containing the brown paper, and which he 
handed to the victim, keeping the one contain- 
ing the cash for himself. 

If the reader will secure a piece of brown 
paper of about the same thickness of a ten 
dollar bill and cut a number of them the exact 
size of the bill and place them together be- 
tween two cardboards, cut just a trifle larger 
than the bill, and tie a string tightly around 
the package, it will be seen that the edges of 
the brown paper look exactly like a package 
of currency. 

Here was a case where the grafter had little 
to fear; to be sure he was conducting a swin- 
dling game for which he could have been con- 
victed and imprisoned should his victims cause 

290 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


his capture and appear against him, but which 
would not be likely to occur. 

His victim’s pride and knowledge of his own 
guilt in trying to “ge t into the game” would 
be sufficient to deter him from making the 
slightest protest. 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


CHAPTER XXL 

Chromo gift enterprise — Each picture num- 
bered — Corresponding numbers in envelopes 
— No chance of drawing the valuable prize 
— Capper in crowd — Duped — The Milton 
Gold Gift enterprise — Worked by the above 
trio — Grand prize $500.00 — Shrewd young 
man beats the game — How it was worked. 

While visiting friends at Bucyrus, and when 
quite a young man, there came to that town 
three men who opened up two lottery schemes 
in a store room. 

In those days there were no laws against 
games of chance of any kind, therefore, while 
such a business was not looked upon as being 
very respectable, yet, inasmuch as it was inside 
the pale of the law, it was run openly and pat- 
ronized by almost all classes. 

One of their schemes was that of the chromo 
gift enterprise. 

The walls of their store room would be com- 
pletely covered with cheap and high-priced 
293 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

pictures in frames, principally low-priced ones, 
with an occasional oil painting, put up in a 
very fine frame. 

Each of these pictures would be numbered. 
Then in a box containing the same number of 
envelopes as there were pictures, would be 
placed in each envelope a corresponding num- 
ber. 

The man who wished to try his luck would 
pay one dollar, and selecting an envelope from 
the box would open it up, and whichever num- 
ber he drew would entitle him to the picture 
upon which was pasted the corresponding 
number. 

There were no blanks, and if the patron 
didn't care for the picture he had drawn, he 
had the privilege of turning in his prize, to- 
gether with fifty cents, and taking another 
draw. 

While this plan in itself was, in a measure, a 
well paying one, yet the avarice of these graft- 
ers led them to adopt a still better plan for 
separating the hard working man from his 
money. 

During the afternoon or evening, when the 
store room would be packed with people, as 
was most invariably the case, and after some 
293 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


man, who had plenty of money, and had been 
unlucky, was about to depart in disgust, a 
man who had been mingling with the crowd, 
and who had shown a disposition to be rather 
talkative, and somewhat indignant over others' 
misfortunes, would cry out, “I don't believe 
there are any numbers in those envelopes cor- 
responding with the numbers on any of those 
fine oil paintings. 

This suggestion would instantly give rise 
to a hot discussion between the man who made 
it (and who was simply a capper for the firm), 
and the man behind the counter. 

Then, as if to stir up things generally, the 
capper would manage to interest the man who 
had been losing, or who, at least, had spent 
several dollars without having drawn a half 
decent prize, and showing, by his action and 
expressions, that he was indignant over the 
man's failure to draw a single prize worth 
having, would say: 

“You are foolish to let these men rob. you 
like this, without forcing them to show their 
hand." 

By this time the victim and the capper 
would be standing together up to the counter 
394 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

upon which was the box of envelopes, and 
behind which was the grafter in charge. 

“Now, see here,” the grafter would say, 
“that three hundred dollar oil painting has 
number forty-four on it, hasn't it? Well now, 
just to show you that I am fair, I will make a 
new number for that picture, and after putting 
the number inside of an envelope I will place 
the envelope in the box with the other envel- 
opes right before your face and eyes and let 
you draw for it, but not for a dollar; you must 
pay ten dollars for such a chance.” 

So saying the grafter would excuse himself, 
and stepping back to his writing desk, and 
after seating himself and remaining there for 
a moment or two, would return to the counter 
holding in his hand a card with number 70 
written upon it, saying as he placed it in an 
envelope, “Now this will be the new number 
for that fine oil painting.” 

He would then place it in the box with the 
others, and leaving one end a quarter of an 
inch above the others would again excuse him- 
self and return to his writing desk for a mo- 
ment. 

At this instant the capper would turn down 
and soil the very tip end of the corner of the 
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TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


envelope so that it could easily be kept track 
of, making sure, of course, that the victim saw 
him do it. 

When the grafter returned he would shake 
the box as if to even up the envelopes, and say: 
“Now that envelope containing number 70 is 
in the box, that you very well know, as you 
saw me place it there. Now then it will cost 
you ten dollars to draw for the big prize, or I 
will bet from one hundred to one thousand 
dollars that you can’t pick the envelope con- 
taining the prize number.” 

Turning to the “sucker” the capper would 
say: “Bet him all the money you have, you 
can’t miss it.” 

In less time than it takes to tell it the 
“sucker” has abandoned the idea of simply 
drawing for the big prize, and has put up all 
the ready cash he possesses that he can pick 
the right number. 

When the money has been put up, he care- 
fully and excitedly selects the envelope with 
the turned up soiled corner, and bringing it 
forth opens it up, only to discover that it con- 
tains a card upon which is orinted number 
“76.” 

Of course when the grafter held up the card 
296 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

showing number 70, he had placed his thumb 
over the long stem of the figure six, thus mak- 
ing the number 70 instead of 76. 

At this juncture the capper would appear 
more excited than the man who had been 
swindled, and would cry out: “I don’t be- 
lieve that box contains an envelope with num- 
ber 70 in it.” 

Upon hearing this remark the grafter would 
upset the entire box upon the counter and say: 
“Now to show you that there is a number 70 
in the box we will just go through every en- 
velope here until we find it.” 

Thus saying, he would begin opening the en- 
velopes. After having opened possibly a 
dozen of them, he would, sure enough, come to 
one in which was found a card upon which 
was printed number 70. 

“There now, are you convinced,” he would 
ask, “that we are doing a straight business?” 

This is the way it was done: Lying at the 
bottom of the envelope box was an envelope 
containing number 70 and upon which was a 
very small private mark so that it could easily 
be found, when mixed with the others. 

When the grafter turned the box over he 
made it a point to scatter them promiscuously, 
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TOLD IX THE SMOKER 


thus preventing the “sucker” or bystanders 
from detecting it as coming from the bottom 
of the box. 

These grafters’ second scheme was what 
they termed the Milton Gold Gift Enterprise. 

Sitting upon the counter was a glass cov- 
ered case in which was sixty-four separate par- 
titions, each numbered from one to sixty-four. 
In each one of these partitions was a prize 
ranging from a piece of jewelry, costing from 
two to four cents, to a solid gold watch worth 
one hundred dollars and a five hundred dollar 
bill. 

Lying on top of the counter were sixty-four 
plain cards, each with a number marked upon 
it. 

There were eight cards marked number one, 
eight marked number two, and so on, up to 
number eight, inclusive. 

The grand prize, a five hundred dollar bill, 
was placed on number sixty-four in the case, 
and the gold watch on number eight. 

The man wishing to patronize the game 
would pay one dollar and then, after these 
sixty-four cards had been carefully shuffled by 
the grafter behind the counter, the patron 
would have the privilege of picking out eight 
298 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


of any one of these cards, without, of course, 
seeing the bottoms of them upon which the 
numbers were printed, and after laying them 
together on the counter, he laid aside the bal- 
ance of the cards, and turning over those he 
had selected they would count the total num- 
ber, and whatever it amounted to, would be 
the number of the prize he had won. 

Careful reflection for a single moment would 
show that inasmuch as the gold watch was on 
number eight, there would be no possibility of 
getting it unless the patron should get eight 
cards marked number one, and as the five hun- 
dred dollar bill was placed on number sixty- 
four, in order to draw it, the patron would have 
to draw eight cards, with number eight 
marked on each of them, either of which would 
virtually be an absolute impossibility, or at 
least an improbability. 

Therefore, while the proposition was very 
attractive and alluring, and well patronized, 
no one ever got anything of more than from 
three to ten cents in valuation, then, of course, 
if they preferred to do so, they could forfeit 
the prize they had drawn, and by paying fifty 
cents more, have another draw. 

Whenever they would draw a prize lying 
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TOLD IX THE SMOKER 


right near the watch or the five hundred dollar 
bill, no matter how far separated the numbers 
were, the grafter would laugh and say: “Well 
I declare! You came within one of getting 
that big prize, didn’t you?” 

“That’s so,” the poor dupe would reply, and 
then say, “well I guess I’ll try it again,” and 
so on, they would keep trying in vain while 
the grafters were simply reveling in wealth. 

However, a young man of the town “put a 
crimp” in them one day, that lasted them for 
some time. 

This young man, a bright, shrewd fellow of 
the town, became interested in the Milton 
gold scheme on the first day of their arrival 
there, and after doing a little figuring, saw 
plainly that it would be next to impossible to 
secure either of the grand prizes and imme- 
diately set to work devising some scheme by 
which he could beat the game. 

Selecting a friend to assist him, they began 
experimenting upon a plan devised, and quick- 
ly discovered that it was quite feasible and 
set to work to carry it out. 

One day, while a large crowd was in the 
room, this shrewd youngster stepped up to the 
counter, and laying down a dollar, said: 

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TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

“I believe I'll try to beat this game just 
once/’ 

The grafter shuffled the cards as usual, 
whereupon the young man, turning about, 
half facing the door, began carefully raising 
first one card, and then another, until at last, 
as though carefully considering the matter (al- 
though not able to see the bottom of any of 
the cards upon which was the numbers), he 
would say, “Well, I guess I’ll take this one, 
and then this one, and this one,” and so on, un- 
till he had laid out the eight cards, to which he 
was entitled. 

Picking up the eight cards, the grafter said, 
“So these are the ones you have selected, are 
they?” 

“Yes, sir,” came the answer. “So turn them 
over and count them, and let's see what I have 
drawn.” 

As the grafter turned them over, imagine 
his surprise, when each card contained a num- 
ber eight. 

“Eight times eight make sixty-four,” re- 
marked the grafter excitedly, “and as sure as 
fate, you have won the five hundred dollar 
bill,” so saying, he passed it out, and although 
he did it with apparent “gameness,” it was 
301 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

plainly evident that he was greatly upset. He 
had been beaten at his own game, possibly for 
the first time in his life, and immediately sus- 
pended the game, while trying to figure out 
how it was accomplished. 

After the second day, the young man came 
to the grafters and said, “Now everybody in 
town knows that I won the five hundred dollar 
bill, and they are all crazy to patronize the 
game, and as you haven’t the nerve to keep it 
running, if you will give me five hundred dol- 
lars, I’ll tell you how I beat it.” 

“Have you told anyone in town that you 
beat it by some scheme?” asked the grafter. 

“No, sir,” said the young man. “There is 
no one knows that but my partner in the 
scheme.” 

“Well, then,” said the grafter, “if you will 
both agree to tell no one else, I’ll give you one 
hundred dollars to show me how you beat it.” 

The offer was accepted, and the young man 
explained as follows : 

The counter, upon which the glass covered 
case was sitting was right near the door or en- 
trance to the store, and the store-room was 
three or four steps up from the sidewalk. 

The young man had tied a stout twisted 
302 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


thread around his ankle, which left six or eight 
feet dragging behind. As he entered the store, 
and stopped at the counter where the jewelry 
case was setting, the thread ran out upon the 
sidewalk and down the steps. Sitting upon 
these steps, was his partner, holding in his 
hand a mirror. Taking hold of the string with 
one hand, and holding the mirror in the other, 
he looked carefully into the latter, while the 
young man picked up the cards, and half turn- 
ing facing the door, kept raising first one and 
then another face down. 

The pal, with the mirror, keeping a close 
watch, would pull the thread, whenever a card 
with number eight upon it, would appear, 
whereupon the shrewd youngster would say, 
‘Til take this one, and this one ,” and so on, 
until they had, by this means laid out the en- 
tire eight cards with number eight marked up- 
on them, and eight times eight, making sixty- 
four, the grand prize had been won, and a 
grafter had been grafted. 


3«9 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


CHAPTER XXII. 

New brand of wheat known as Canadian Red 
Line-Corporation composed of disreputa- 
ble men — Six farmers in each county per- 
mitted to handle their grain — Bond agreeing 
to sell next year’s crop — Commission — Crop 
sold and paid for with a lot of worthless 
notes. 

The Bohemian Oats Graft was one of the 
greatest confidence games ever worked upon 
the American farmer, and was so manipulated 
as to disarm the most intelligent of them, of 
its infamous nature, for a period of from three 
to four years, after which they would suddenly 
discover that they had not only been uncon- 
sciously led into a scheme to help defraud their 
neighbors and friends, but that they, them- 
selves, had been unmercifully fleeced. 

This scheme was reported as having been 
originated by a Canadian, who introduced it 

304 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

into the States, and who made millions of dol- 
lars out of it. 

The Bohemian Oats was introduced as a 
hulled oats for cereal purposes only, and of a 
highly superior quality. 

With it was also introduced a new brand of 
wheat, with a large, plump kernel, and of a 
quality capable of producing the highest grade 
of flour, and known as the “Canadian Red 
Line. ,, 

Organized gangs of shrewd, educated, well- 
dressed and up-to-date appearing men were 
sent out all over the United States to system- 
atically work each state and county. 

Before attempting to do business in any 
state, they would locate with headquarters in 
the Capitol, and there, under the laws of the 
state, organize a stock company to principally 
be made up of disreputable men, one or two of 
whom would be elected to office. 

With this incorporation behind them, the 
grafters would start out with samples of the 
Bohemian Oats and Canadian Red Line wheat. 

Two men, working together, would take 
their allotted number of counties and begin 
work. 

The first year, they would not sell more than 

305 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


five bushels each of the oats and wheat to not 
more than six farmers in a county. 

These farmers would be selected as among 
the wealthiest and most influential, and, as to 
their resident location, would be evenly scat- 
tered about over the county. 

These grafters or agents, as they styled 
themselves, would explain to the farmer that 
not more than six men in their county would 
be permitted to handle or raise their grain the 
first year, and that no one man would be al- 
lowed to purchase more than five bushels of 
oats at their price of ten dollars per bushel, and 
five bushels of wheat at seventeen dollars and 
fifty cents per bushel. 

However, as a sure and positive guarantee 
to the farmer, of being well compensated for 
his trouble, the firm, known as The North 
American Farmers and Planters Company 
(for the production of Cereals), would furnish 
each farmer who tried the experiment with a 
bond, agreeing to sell for the farmer, the next 
year, twice or double the amount of his first 
year’s purchase, at the same price he had paid 
for his seed, less 33Va% commission for their 
(the agents’) services. 

This proposition, being perfectly fair, any 
306 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


farmer, with a drop of speculative blood in his 
veins, would unhesitatingly jump at the 
chance, especially, as the agents showed their 
confidence in the project by offering to take 
the farmer’s six months note for the amount, 
which would be eighty-seven dollars and fifty 
cents, for the five bushels of wheat, and fifty 
dollars for five bushels of oats, a total of one 
hundred and thirty-seven dollars and fifty 
cents. 

Securing the farmer’s note for the above 
amount, the following bond would be given 
him : 

INCORPORATED UNDER THE LAWS 
OF THE STATE OF OHIO. 

All persons accepting this bond, hereby ac- 
knowledge that the grain was bought at a 
speculative value, and free all officers, agents 
and stock-holders of this Company from any 
liability, further than double the amount of 
Capital Stock they may hold. 

No 

Capital Stock, $2,500. Liabilities, $5,000. 
President. 

Secretary. 


307 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


The North American Farmers and Planters 
Company (For the Production of Cereals). 


Township, County, 

State of Ohio. 

May ist, 1881, do hereby 

agree to sell for Mr , ten 

bushels of Bohemian Oats and ten bushels of 
Canadian Red Line wheat at ten dollars and 
seventeen dollars and fifty cents per bushel, 
respectively, less 33V3 % commission, on or be- 
fore the ist day of May, 1882. 

This bond void without seal and superintend- 
ent’s signature attached. 

(Signed) Superintendent. 

(Seal.) 

The following year, the grafters would re- 
turn to these farmers, and enthusiastically an- 
nounce that they were there to carry out their 
part of the agreement, and thereby take up the 
company’s bond, which they had given the 
year before. 

Taking the farmer in the buggy with them, 
they would start out, and with the prestige 
given them, by his presence, there would be no 
trouble in disposing of not only double the 
308 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

amount of his seed purchase of the year be- 
fore, but all he possessed, the grafters offering 
to the farmer’s neighbors the same proposition 
they had made him the year before. 

Being impressed with the agent’s frank, 
honest methods, and interested in selling off 
his entire crop at a fancy price, the farmer 
would naturally put forth every effort, and 
sanction every proposition or suggestion made 
by the agents that would be likely to promote 
the sale of his grain. 

To make it easy for the farmer’s neighbors 
the latter would take their notes, payable in 
six months from date. 

When he had completely sold out, the agents 
would settle with him, and if necessary, would 
take his six months note for their share of the 
commission, after which they would say, “Now 
our firm needs money to run their business, 
and we would like to have you acknowledge us 
to your bank, and in the presence of the cashier 
endorse your note, so that we will have no 
trouble in getting the cash on it.” 

This the farmer would readily consent to, 
and so far as the grafters were concerned, the 
act was one step further toward proving to 
them that they were gradually winning their 

309 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


victim's confidence more and more, all of which 
was essential for their future success in the 
wind up. 

Having disposed of all of his grain, the 
agents would say to the farmer: “Now, Mr. 

, we want to make you one of the 

big men of this state, to represent us at the 
coming National Convention of Cereal Pro- 
ducers to be held at Washington, D. C., two 
years from now, the expenses of which, for 
yourself and wife, will be paid by the North 
American Farmers and Planters Company, 
provided you are one of the largest producers 
of our cereals in the state. 

“To do this, we want to sell you one hundred 
bushels of Bohemian oats, and one hundred 
bushels of the Red Line wheat.” 

“But,” the farmer would say, “I haven’t land 
enough to sow that amount.” 

“Then rent your neighbors’ farms,” the 
grafter would suggest. “You can well afford 
to, and now that we have got you interested, 
we will bond every bushel you raise, agreeing' 
to sell it, at the price you pay for it, less the 
commission of 3373 %. ” 

Thinking over the matter for a moment, the 
farmer would suggest that it really seemed 
310 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

foolish that he should have gone ahead and 
helped the agents to sell his entire crop and al- 
low them one-third of the proceeds as commis- 
sion, and then turn around and buy a hundred 
bushels of each, the oats and wheat, at the reg- 
ular price. 

“But,” explained the agents, “had you kept 
your own grain for seed next year, we would 
not have bonded it for you, as that would have 
been the same as selling you your own grain, 
and that the by-laws of our Company would 
not permit us to do.” 

Thus seeing the point, and not willing to 
throw up a good thing, the farmer would place 
his order for one hundred bushels of Red Line 
wheat, at seventeen dollars and fifty cents per 
bushel, and one hundred bushels of oats, at ten 
dollars per bushel, for which he would give 
his note for $2,750.00, taking from the agents 
the company’s bond, agreeing to sell his entire 
next year’s product at the price he paid for the 
seed, less the one-third of? for commissions. 

Settling with Farmer Number One, these 
grafters would call on all the other five in the 
same county, to whom they had sold five 
bushels of each kind of grain the year before, 
and put through the same sort of a deal with 
3ii 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


them, and, after inducing each of the six farm- 
ers to accompany them to his bank, to aid them 
in getting the notes discounted, they would dis- 
appear for the time being, at least. 

To fill these orders the grafters would pur- 
chase wheat at one dollar and ten cents per 
bushel, and oats at sixty-five cents per bushel 
in Minnesota, and, shipping it to the deluded 
farmer, would make an immense profit. 

With the most of these grafters, their deal- 
ings would end at this point and new fields and 
greener pastures would be sought. 

Some of them, however, were not content to 
give up their victims at this point, and the fol- 
lowing year would again appear on the scene 
with a proposition that would give each of the 
six original purchasers their final trimming. 

During the winter season these grafters 
would visit towns and cities in some county, 
possibly fifty or sixty miles distant from where 
they had been operating, and after remaining in 
each town a few days, would select from two 
to five or six worthless men, possibly the class 
of men who are usually found cleaning cuspi- 
dors in saloons, or men who are willing to do 
anything for a few dollars and what liquor they 
can drink. 


312 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

Approaching these worthless men, one of the 
grafters would say: 

“Now see here, you need a new suit of 
clothes and a little money, and if you will let 
me sell you a lot of oats and wheat and give 
me your note for it, I will buy you a new suit 
of clothes and give you ten dollars in cash, and 
as your note is not collectible, since you have 
no more than the law allows you, what dif- 
ference does it make to you?” 

By this means the grafters would secure the 
worthless note, which they would have made 
payable to one of the six farmers with whom 
they had been dealing in the other county, and 
to whom they had given the Company’s bond 
to sell all of the product from the hundred 
bushels of seed oats and seed wheat. 

After securing a large number of these 
notes, they would return to their victims, just 
after harvest, and announce that they had 
probably already sold every bushel of the farm- 
er’s supply of grain, and, after ascertaining how 
many bushels he had, would produce notes 
enough, or nearly enough, at least, to take up 
all the grain the farmer had raised. After 
turning these notes over to the farmer, who, 
of course, had every reason to believe they had 
3i3 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


been given by thoroughly responsible farmers 
of another county, the grafters would demand 
their commission of thirty-three and one-third 
per cent., which the farmer would gladly pay, 
giving his six months’ note for the amount, 
after which he would accompany the grafters 
to his bank, and usually aid them in securing 
the cash on same. 

Jn one case, when these grafters had made 
their return call with their pockets full of 
worthless notes, two farmers had each raised 
about two hundred bushels more grain than 
the grafters had notes to pay for. 

To clear up the matter and at the same time 
make a good thing for themselves, the graft- 
ers said to Mr. Jones: “We can’t sell you your 
own grain and bond you for another year, as 
we have been doing, but we will sell your two 

hundred bushels to Mr. Smith, over in 

township, and as Mr. Smith also has two hun- 
dred bushels more than we have sold for him, 
we will sell Smith’s grain to you, and by this 
means we can give the Company’s bond the 
same as before, to sell your entire product the 
coming year.” 

Therefore the grafters sold Mr. Jones a 
hundred bushels of oats and a hundred bushels 


314 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


of wheat, taking his note, payable to Mr. 
Smith, to the amount of $2,750, and then took 
Smith's note, payable to themselves, for their 
commission, which amounted to $916.66, and 
which Smith helped them to get cashed at the 
bank. 

Then they sold Mr. Smith a hundred bushels 
of oats and a hundred bushels of wheat, taking 
his note for $2,750.00, payable to Jones, and 
then settled with Tones for their commission, 
amounting to $916.66, taking his six months’ 
note, which he also helped them to secure the 
money for at the bank. 

After these grafters had left for parts un- 
known, Smith and Tones one day met, and on 
comparing notes, found that Jones held 
Smith’s note for $2,750.00, for which Jones was 
to deliver two hundred bushels of grain. 

On the other hand, Smith held Jones’ note 
for the same amount, $2,750.00, for which 
Smith was to deliver two hundred bushels of 
grain to Jones. 

Making sure that they had figured correct- 
ly, to materially obviate matters, they simply 
exchanged notes, each thus liquidating his ob- 
ligation, and each keeping his own grain, and 
3i5 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


both waited a long time, and, if alive, no doubt 
are still waiting for the grafters to return and 
make good the fake Cereal Company’s worth- 
less bond. 


316 


TOLD IX THE SMOKER 


CHAPTER XXIII. 

Silk hats and Prince Albert suits — Three suits 
of clothes and two dress patterns — Expert 

cutter at - — Hotel — Farmer instructed 

to call on cutter within ten days — Three suits 
made free of charge — Cloth sent in to Asso- 
ciation — Later bill for accessories sent — If 
farmer refused to pay, amount invested lost 
— If he has sent the amount, a ready-made 
suit of cheapest material substituted and 
sent — Gross profits $700.00 per day — Bos- 
ton men and their sister work together — 
Picture enlarged free — Agreement to frame 
picture for exhibition — Confusing agree- 
ment — Money usually forthcoming — Cheap- 
est work and material sent — Farmer’s long 
wait for the grafter. 

In 1895, while traveling through Indiana, I 
met a gang of grafters who were representing 
themselves as agents for the American Farm- 
ers’ Tailoring Association, of Chicago. 

3i7 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


The gang consisted of five big husky men, 
none of whom weighed less than two hundred 
and twenty pounds. All were cleanly shav- 
en and were dressed exactly alike, each wear- 
ing a silk hat and a Prince Albert suit. 

They took quarters at the hotel where I was 
stopping, and in no time were doing a thriv- 
ing business among the farmers. 

One of these five men remained at the hotel 
as the cutter and fitter, while the other four 
engaged rigs at the livery stable and, dividing 
the county into four equal parts, each started 
out in his allotted territory. 

Their proposition was to sell a farmer 
enough cloth for three suits of clothes for him- 
self, and two dress patterns for his wife, and, 
of course, if there were grown-up daughters or 
sons or other grown-up members of the fam- 
ily, they would, if possible, make a sale to each 
one of them. 

Under no circumstances, however, would 
they sell any one man cloth for less than three 
suits, or any woman less than two dress pat- 
terns. 

In consideration of selling three suits to each 
man, the Association could afford to make an 
average price of fifteen dollars a suit, or forty- 
318 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

five dollars for the three, any one of which was 
actually worth from twenty to thirty dollars 
each, and, as a further inducement for the 
farmer to purchase enough cloth for three suits 
at once, the Association would make them up 
in the latest styles, perfect satisfaction guar- 
anteed in every way, and no extra charges. 

Their expert cutter was stopping at the 

Hotel, at the county seat, and would remain 
there several weeks, making measurements 
and cutting and fitting those who purchased 
their goods. 

The salesman's first object was to close a 
sale with the farmer for cloth enough for three 
suits, after which he would interest the farm- 
er’s wife in two very handsome dress patterns, 
for which he would charge ten dollars each, 
with the understanding, however, that she was 
to make them up herself, as the Association 
only took the responsibility of making up, free, 
the men’s clothes. 

If, after the salesman had sold the farmer 
enough cloth for three suits, he could possibly 
close out to the wife the two dress patterns at 
ten dollars each, so much the better, and if they 
complained of being short of cash, the Associ- 
3 T 9 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

ation was perfectly willing to take their note 
for six months, or, if necessary, a year’s time. 

If the salesman found it a hard matter to 
sell to the farmer, he would then introduce the 
dress patterns to the wife, and in order to get 
her influence, would offer them at one dollar 
and twenty-five cents each, provided they also 
took the cloth for three suits of clothes. 

The wife, being so much interested in her 
own welfare, and realizing that the dress pat- 
terns were exceptionally cheap (being offered 
for less than manufacturer’s cost), would lose 
sight of the exorbitant price charged for her 
husband’s clothes, and would immediately be- 
gin pleading with him to buy the entire outfit, 
usually making it very easy for the salesman 
to close the deal. 

After winding up the transaction and eith- 
er getting their cash or a note, the salesman 
would instruct the farmer to be sure and bring 
the cloth to their cutter and fitter at the hotel, 
at the county seat, within the next ten days, to 
have his measurements taken. 

On arriving at the hotel, the farmer would 
be measured and informed that the cloth would 
be sent to the Association’s headquarters at 
Chicago, to be made up. 

320 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


About ten days after the gang had left for 
parts unknown, the farmer would receive a 
letter from the American Farmers’ Tailoring 
Association, inclosing a bill for thirty-three 
dollars and forty-five cents for linings, trim- 
mings, buttons, thread, etc., all of which must 
be advanced before the suits would be for- 
warded. 

Of course, no charges had been made for 
cutting, fitting and making, nor had there been 
any mention made as to cost of these inciden- 
tals ; therefore the farmer had his choice of two 
things, either pay up or lose what he had al- 
ready invested. 

This gang’s cutter and fitter w*as the man 
who gave me the inside workings of their 
scheme, and explained that none of the cloth 
was cut or even sent to Chicago to be made up. 
It was simply turned over to the salesman who 
had sold it, to be sold over again. 

The measurements would be sent to Chica- 
go to a pal of the gang, who would wait a few 
days and write to the farmer, under flaming 
letter heads, and send a bill for the accessories. 

If he refused to pay, another letter would be 
sent explaining matters in a plausible way, 
endeavoring to persuade him that the Associ- 
32 1 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

ation was right and that he was wrong, and 
that he could not afford to lose what he had al- 
ready paid. 

If the money was forthcoming, the corre- 
spondent, or the man representing the Associ- 
ation in Chicago, would call (as prearranged) 
upon a large clothing manufacturer, and pick 
out a ready-made suit of the same color, but of 
a different quality of cloth, and of the required 
measurements, and express them to the farm- 
er at his expense. 

The suits cost six dollars each, no cheaper 
quality of goods could be made and have it 
hang together long enough to be made up. 

My grafter informant explained that the 
cloth, as originally sold to the farmer, was 
cheap enough, costing the grafters not to ex- 
ceed five dollars, but when the shift was made 
at Chicago and a ready-made suit of clothes 
was sent on, the quality, although of same 
color and appearance, was absolutely the poor- 
est that could be procured. 

The cutter and fitter of this gang, whose real 
business was simply that of manager, and who 
kept the accounts of the gang, showed me that 
a good salesman would average three deals of 
forty-seven dollars and fifty cents each, daily ; 

3 22 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

then add to this thirty-three dollars and forty- 
five cents more, for accessories, for each deal, 
making a total of two hundred and forty-two 
dollars and eighty-five cents per day for each 
salesman. 

The dress patterns sold to the wife at a dol- 
lar and twenty-five cents each, as a bait, cost 
the grafters two dollars and twenty-five cents 
each, and as the men’s suits cost six dollars 
each, the total cost of material sold to these 
customers would be sixty-seven dollars and 
fifty cents, leaving a gross profit of one hun- 
dred and seventy-five dollars and thirty-five 
cents per day for each salesman’s work, or an 
average of over seven hundred dollars per day, 
gross profits, for the gang of four salesmen 
and the so-called cutter and fitter, whose en- 
tire knowledge of the work consisted of a very 
crude method of taking measurements. 

The portrait graft is as old as that of the gold 
brick, and, like the latter, always flourishes in 
almost every community. 

This one, however, as conducted by two 
brothers whose home was in Boston, was the 
most successful of any enlarging picture graft 
I ever knew of. 


323 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


Although they represented themselves as 
agents for a large portrait company of Boston, 
they nevertheless were simply for themselves. 

Their sister, at home, acted as their corre- 
spondent and business manager, and would fol- 
low out a plan for aiding her brothers in ex- 
tracting the coin from the western farmer. 

Making a house-to-house canvass, they 
would explain that they were just starting out 
in that particular community and anxious to 
get a foot-hold there, they would enlarge the 
picture of any deceased friend to a life size, ab- 
solutely free, if the farmer would promise to 
have the picture framed in a gilt frame in which 
to exhibit the picture at his home after receiv- 
ing it, and also promise to use his influence 
among friends and relatives in assisting the 
agents in getting orders. 

Then producing a printed agreement, would 
ask for and procure the farmer’s signature, aft- 
er which he would walk off with a small pict- 
ure (most likely the only one, at least the best 
one the farmer had) of a dear deceased rela- 
tive. 

This picture and the agreement would at 
once be sent to the grafters’ sister at Boston. 

Laying them away for a couple of weeks 

324 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


without the slightest pretense of having the 
picture enlarged, the sister would then write 
to the dupe that the picture had been enlarged 
to a beautiful life-sized portrait, and accord- 
ing to agreement, they had made up a very 
handsome gilt frame, in which the picture had 
been placed and which made a beautiful ex- 
hibit. 

Enclosing a bill for the frame, for $15.00, 
with instructions to remit at once, the farmer 
would be told that the picture and frame would 
be sent, express charges paid, at once, as agreed 
upon. 

Receiving this letter and bill, the farmer 
would be dumfounded, and would immediate- 
ly write to the firm that the picture was to be 
enlarged free and as soon as it was received by 
him, he was to purchase a gilt frame suitable to 
exhibit it in, and that the only expense he was 
to be to was the express charges on the picture. 

The grafters’ sister would immediately fol- 
low up with an answer to this letter, advising 
the farmer to read the agreement he had 
signed, copy of which had been left him, and 
take notice that he agreed to purchase a gilt 
frame in which to exhibit the picture as soon 
as it arrived, the charges of which, whatever 

325 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


they may be, he would pay, with the under- 
standing that no other expenses would be in- 
curred by him; therefore the company would 
make their agreement good by prepaying the 
express charges as soon as the frame was paid 
for. 

On looking up his agreement and carefully 
reading it, even if the farmer was not quite sat- 
isfied, yet the wording and construction was so 
confusing that nine times out of ten he would 
decide that possibly he had a misunderstand- 
ing of the matter and, to avoid trouble and to 
make sure of at least getting back the original 
picture of his dear one, would at once remit the 
amount demanded, two weeks later receiving, 
prepaid by express, the cheapest sort of por- 
trait, with a still cheaper frame, the charges 
for which afforded all the profit the grafters 
cared for. 

When the cash was received, the grafters’ 
sister would hand the small picture over to a 
large picture frame and portrait company, who 
for a paltry sum would enlarge the picture, 
frame, pack and ship it to the victim, who 
would wait a long time for the agent to call 
around to get the benefit of his influence in 
making more sales. 


326 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


The following is a fac-simile of the agree- 
ment signed by the farmer: 

, 1 88 — . 

To the Portrait Company, 

Boston, Mass. 

I this day deliver to your agent a small pict- 
ure of my for the purpose of having the 

same enlarged to a life-sized portrait. 

In consideration of services rendered by you 
in the enlarging of this picture, for which no 
charges are to be made, I hereby agree to exert 
my influence among friends and neighbors, 
with a view to assisting you and your agent 
in securing other work in your line. 

To this end I further agree to purchase for 
the picture a suitable gilt frame, in which to 
make a satisfactory exhibition at my home as 
soon as the same arrives by express. 

These charges, whatever they may be, I 
promise to pay, with the understanding that 
no other expenses shall be incurred by me in 
this transaction. 


3*7 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


CHAPTER XXIV. 

The “settler” — Blank contract, an ingenious 
article of agreement — A settlement for cash, 
or a promissory note, with security. 

Some years ago five smooth young grafters 
made plenty of money through Ohio and In- 
diana, selling Orchestrones for the Orches- 

trone Company of . 

One of these young men acted as “settler,” 
while four of them acted as salesmen. 

As is the usual custom of gangs of grafters, 
these men would locate for a few weeks in the 
county seat of some rich and well populated 
county. The settler would wait at the hotel 
for the salesmen to get nicely started, when he 
would busy himself compromising with the 
victim by either collecting the cash or procur- 
328 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


ing a well secured note for the price of their 
instrument. 

Instead of attempting to sell an Orchestrone 
outright, the agent or salesman would call up- 
on some well-to-do farmer with a family of 
grown-up daughters, and explain that all he 
asked the privilege of doing was to appoint the 
farmer as sub-agent for the sale of the instru- 
ment among his friends. 

The price of the Orchestrone was three hun- 
dred dollars. After the farmer had sold four 
instruments and turned over the receipts to 
the Orchestrone Company, he would then be- 
come the owner of the Orchestrone left in his 
possession. 

As a special inducement for the farmer to 
accept their liberal proposition, the agent 
would explain that they kept in their employ a 
very competent music teacher, who would call 
at the farmer’s home within three days and be- 
gin giving free lessons to the two eldest daugh- 
ters, and would keep up the lessons until final 
settlement was made. 

The matter being placed before the farmer 
and his wife in such a plausible manner, both 
were only too anxious to take advantage of it, 
and unhesitatingly signed an order or agree- 
3*9 



TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

ment, which in reality was equivalent to a 
promissory note. 

The following is a fac-simile of one of the 
blank contracts, given me by a member of this 
gang, and which, when carefully read, proved 
to be an ingeniously arranged article of agree- 
ment and note combined. 

The Orchestrone Company. 

I accept Orchestrone, style , upon condi- 

tion, that you give me privilege of sales of said 
instrument in my neighborhood, and a com- 
mission of Eighty-Seven Dollars and Fifty 
Cents ($87.50), on each Orchestrone sold by 
influence of myself or family, at the one and 
regular price of three hundred dollars 
($300.00), which amount I will allow you in 
settlement, for my sample Orchestrone, and in 
addition to this, Fifty Dollars ($50.00), to de- 
fray expenses on this delivery. That hereaft- 
er, when four are sold through my influence, 
my commission must equal cost of my Orches- 
trone. Settlement to be made at your request. 
If not, you may either negotiate this, or col- 
lect it where convenient for you, at my ex- 
pense. I to have from one to four months’ 
time, as we may agree upon. And it is under- 
33 ? 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


stood, I am not responsible for, neither do I 
guarantee the sales of any of the Instruments. 
You are at liberty to advertise the Instruments 
as at my house, and I will assist in view of the 
commission you are to pay me, all I reasonably 
can to effect sales. 


Date, , 189 — . 

The moment the farmer’s signature had 
been secured, that moment a sale had been 
made of the Orchestrone, and not for three 
hundred dollars, the price quoted to the farm- 
er, but three hundred and fifty dollars, the ad- 
ditional fifty dollars being, as the contract 
called for, to defray expenses on the delivery. 

Within ten days after the signing of this 
contract the settler would call upon the farm- 
er, and in a plausible way, say that he had been 
sent there by the Orchestrone Com- 

pany to make a final settlement with the farm- 
er for the Orchestrone. 

“Well,” the farmer would say, “I haven't had 
time to sell any of the instruments to my 
friends or acquaintances ; therefore, all I can 
. 33- 1 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


do is to let you take the Orchestrone away, ac- 
cording to agreement.” 

“But,” the settler would explain, “you gave 
our agent a contract agreeing to pay our firm 
three hundred dollars for the instrument, and 
fifty dollars extra to defray expenses, on the 
delivery of the instrument, making a total of 
three hundred and fifty dollars, you to have 
from one to four months’ time, as we may 
agree upon.” 

“Oh, no!” the farmer would declare, and un- 
der much excitement would explain that he 
had only signed an agreement to take the in- 
strument to sell on commission. 

“Have you a copy of the contract?” the set- 
tler would ask. 

“No, I have not, but I remember what the 
agreement was,” the farmer would insist. 

At this, the agent would produce the orig- 
inal contract, and a duplicate of it, which he 
would hand to the farmer, and ask him to read 
it and see if that wasn’t what he had signed. 
Thus saying, he would point to the farmer’s 
name on the card he held back, and ask if that 
wasn’t his signature (making sure, of course, 
that he didn’t get possession of it). 

Then, directing him to carefully look over 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

the blank form while he, the settler, would read 
the one the farmer had signed, would very 
quickly point out the binding features of the 
contract, which authorized the company, in 
case settlement was not made at their request, 
to either negotiate the article of agreement, or 
collect it where convenient to do so, and at the 
farmer’s expense. 

This interpretation of the agreement would 
quickly give the farmer a clearer idea of what 
had happened, and, without further argument, 
a final settlement for cash, with a fair discount, 
or a bona fide promissory note, with security, 
if necessary, would be the finale of these clever, 
but disreputable transactions. 

*********** 

A piano graft, similar to the above, was car- 
ried on some years ago by a bright young man 
from the West, who traveled about the country 
selling instruments for various reputable up- 
to-date piano houses, who never could ascer- 
tain until too late just how he was able to sell 
so many high priced instruments in exceed- 
ingly small towns, and among farmers. 

This young man had graduated in one of the 
leading colleges of the country, was a fine vo- 
333 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

calist and pianist, a good dresser, and an ex- 
cellent talker. 

He always worked on commission, would 
handle no instruments that would sell for any 
more nor less than five hundred dollars, and 
always with a contract from the firm, agreeing 
to allow him to sell to responsible parties on a 
credit of one year, taking a note for the 
amount, payable to the company, who were to 
pay him a cash commission as soon as the deal 
was closed. 

He would explain to the firm that he had a 
method all his own, and in order to successful- 
ly carry it out, would require that whenever 
he asked them to deliver a piano at the home 
of some farmer or to a citizen of some small 
town, that they should look up the financial 
standing of the parties, and if they were will- 
ing to sell a five hundred dollar instrument to 
them on a year’s time, to go ahead and place 
the piano in their house on trial and leave the 
rest to him. 

With this understanding and agreement 
from the firm, the young grafter would start 
out and travel on foot among farmers and in 
small hamlets. 

Selecting a farmer with a family of young 
334 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 

ladies, he would present the card of the firm 
he was representing, and who were well known 
to everyone in that section. 

Approaching the farmer, he would offer to 
place a five hundred dollar piano in his home 
on trial, with the understanding that he and 
his family were to act as sub-agents for him in 
selling three other pianos to their neighbors, 
after which the farmer was to become sole 
owner of the instrument placed with him. 

If the farmer would hesitate in the least, he 
would say: 

“Why, my dear man, you certainly wouldn't 
object to our putting the instrument in your 
home, when you know full well that there can 
be no harm in it, would you? Your daughters 
can be having the use of it, and should you not 
have the good fortune to sell three more pi- 
anos and thereby get yours for nothing, you 
wouldn't object to having the use of our piano 
for several weeks, would you?" 

Then by citing several instances where oth- 
ers had succeeded in paying for theirs by mak- 
ing sales to their friends of three others, the 
grafter would finally persuade the farmer to 
let him place one in his home. 

This acomplished, the rest was easy. 

335 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


He would then send the farmer’s name to 
the house as a prospective customer, with the 
understanding that if his financial rating was 
satisfactory one of their five hundred dollar pi- 
anos was to be delivered on trial at his home, 
after which he, the agent, was to be notified. 
Whereupon he would return to the farmer’s 
home and close a deal by asking the latter to 
sign the following article of agreement, which 
he would read carefully, and without dating it, 
would pass it to the victim and say: “Now 
read this carefully to see that it’s all right be- 
fore you sign it.” 

The following is a copy of same: 


$500.00. 


, 18 — . 

One year after date, for value received, I 

promise to pay to the Piano Company, 

or order, Five Hundred Dollars, if I sell for 
them, three of their number 16 Upright Pianos, 
at their regular retail price of Five Hundred 
Dollars each. I am to receive a commission of 
thirty-three and one-third per cent, as com- 
pensation for services rendered. 

(Signature) 

Witness: 


336 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


Just as the farmer was about to sign the 
agreement, the grafter would reach for it and 
say: 

“By the way, I haven’t dated that yet, so 
don’t sign it until I have done so, as it wouldn’t 
be legal.” So saying, he would lay the paper 
on the table with a lot of other papers and, un- 
noticed by the farmer, would shift the one he 
had just read for another of exactly the same 
wording, but with a change in the punctua- 
tion, which, when signed, was nothing more 
nor less than a promissory note, with an agree- 
ment added, offering the farmer a commission 
of thirty-three and one-third per cent, should 
he sell three pianos; and after dating it, would 
pass it to him for his signature, which, without 
the slightest suspicion, would be signed, and 
which read as follows : 


$500.00. 


, 18 — . 

One year after date, for value received, I 

promise to pay to the Piano Company, 

or order, Five Hundred Dollars. If I sell for 
them three of their Number 16 Upright Pi- 
anos, at their regular retail price of Five Hun- 
dred Dollars each, I am to receive a commis- 


337 


TOLD IN THE SMOKER 


sion of thirty-three and one-third per cent., as 
compensation for services rendered. 

(Signature) 

Witness: 

The note having been made payable to the 
piano company would be gladly accepted by 
them, and the commission due the agent for- 
warded at once. 

While the field was clear and before the first 
note taken by this grafter should come due he 
would work almost incessantly. 

The firm represented, never for an instant 
suspecting anything irregular in his methods, 
would nevertheless wonder at his remarkable 
success, as he kept two men almost constantly 
busy placing pianos on trial. 

Just before his year was up, or a week or two 
before the first note he had taken was to come 
due, he would resign his position, which his 
firm would reluctantly accept, and, after re- 
ceiving all commission due him, would seek 
new territory, leaving the firm and his dupes 
to settle matters as they could. 


338 




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